


what comes with spring

by Burst



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 06:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 66,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8614030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burst/pseuds/Burst
Summary: Youngjae meets a man. They fall in love. Things get messy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> done for two prompts that asked for youngjae/yugyeom fluff+sad twist and angst+abrupt ending and well i couldn't resist the otp (bit the bullet with the angst part, but hopefully buffered it with enough fluff)
> 
> this is the first thing i've written in a long while, so apologies if there are any mistakes and inconsistencies! (its one of those things that start off okay but progressively get worse welp)
> 
> i also don't care for summaries as you can tell by my amazing one above

This story begins once upon a time in small town nestled within a forest, surrounded by green and hidden from the world. In the town there lived a young doctor by the name of Choi Youngjae, a lad that left his parents in the the countryside he was born to follow the steps of his brothers and sisters in venturing to new lands. He had no place in mind to go to, but he held the desire to use the education he received to help the growing societies in the unknown territories.

The town he found himself in was a quiet one, a long ways off from other neighboring towns, following winding roads that stretched over hills and creeks. A town that was closer to the mountains than the sea,  under the wide sky and passed through by the winds. The young doctor was quick to settle and was warmly welcomed; the little settlement was close knit, everyone knew one another as if they were one of their own. It was, of course, a town still in development. Every few weeks was a new storefront being constructed, and merchants came and went with wares from distant areas. It was a quaint little town the young doctor fell into.

Youngjae liked his craft, making house visits to his patients, and occasionally receiving a complimentary basket of fruit or fresh baked bread for his services. He enjoyed seeing the townspeople’s happy and healthy faces as he walked by, waving and smiling at him. They were the reason he got up in the mornings, to work his hardest, and endure hours of wandering the forests for medicinal herbs and foods every week.

It was tough, when he ran out—he needed them for tea, for salve, for powder, for nearly everything—and when merchants couldn’t come soon enough. So he dug around for his old textbooks and carefully cut out the images to paste in his own journal. Over time, he compiled information on where each were located, marking ones he couldn’t find in the front of his book so he knew what to request for through the post. The flowers and fungi were easy enough to find, but others like garlic cloves, peppers, and ginseng were difficult to come across. The town wasn’t built to allow for personal gardens, thus Youngjae could not grow his own, instead having to procure them from merchants or search day and night by the mountains.

 

It was on one of those excursions Youngjae met a young man.

 

The doctor happened upon a large clearing after following a small river he frequently passed on his way to his usual spot for sanghwang mushrooms. The river continued along, however at the sight of the open area, he couldn’t help but stray.

The area was almost perfectly circular, the ground decorated with tiny flowers and blades of grass peeking out from smooth stones, larger and flat shaped rocks placed near the center, with moss that slowly crept up from the bottom. The trees didn’t block out the sky, sunlight poured down and covered everything with a soft glow. The same trees bore brightly colored flowers, whiter than snow and red like a maiden’s cheeks, petals still glistening with morning dew. It was almost magical; Youngjae believed he stumbled into a new world.

He passed patches of red toadstools and shrubs full of yellow honeysuckles, stepping carefully into the clearing. He looked around in awe, to imagine such a place existed near his small town. Calmed by the sound of rushing water and distant chirps of the forests’ inhabitants, the young doctor was led to sit on one of the mossy rocks, to sit down and admire the nature. Youngjae set his book down, as well as the basket for herb collecting. Inside he kept multiple glass jars, to keep each plant separated if he happened to find more than he was looking for. They clinked together as he set the basket down, the soft chimes nearly drowned out by the river.

“Incredible,” he muttered to himself, as he dragged his eyes from the ground up to the trees once more. His gaze landed on the honeysuckles he passed the way he came, quickly realizing that they were such. With unexpected urgency, he picked up his old leather bound notebook and hurriedly turned the pages until he found the entry on honeysuckles.

They were a common flower, he used them often for teas and sweetening syrups for those patients that disliked bitter tastes, but the areas he had been frequenting were only vines of honeysuckle flowers, growing around large rocks or bare trees. With a pen pulled from his pocket, Youngjae dutifully sketched out the trees to the best of his ability, drawing lines to label the flower and even the fungi that lay at the base of the tree. He wrote down the directions he took, the river he followed, and the clearing he was seated in. With a smile, he closed the book when he finished, setting it aside to stretch his arms above his head.

The woods around the town were full of surprises, some more amazing than others.

He planned to pick a few of the flora, both the honeysuckles and some of the white ones—for decoration—when he heard rustling off to the side. At first Youngjae assumed it was just a wild rabbit, as those tended to jump around here and there, startling him some in the middle of his scavenging, but as the sound persisted he couldn’t help but sit up a little straighter. It sounded oddly familiar, the rhythmic plucking noise and rustling of leaves. Like someone pulling on leaves or petals.

Tentatively he moved towards the noise. The basket and book lay on the rock, Youngjae trusting the skies to watch over his belongings. Hiding behind the trunk of the closest tree, he slowly pulled the branches obscuring the deeper forest down. The branch was rough and cool to the touch, leaves and petals brushing against the back of his hands, but the young doctor was captivated by other things.

The plucking was familiar, the sound he’s heard countless times before doing the same thing the stranger was. A young man, no younger than himself with hooded eyes and hair the color of dried rose petals, was picking mint leaves by the base of a tree. The man had a cloak on, most of his body was covered save for his face and his arms. One hand plucked the leaves while the other held a small basket similar to his, slowly being filled with just mint leaves.

Youngjae’s curiosity overpowered his apprehension; curious who the man was—he’d never seen the other in town before—and why all the mint. He took a step forward, lifting the branch obstructing his path to make his way closer. But before the young doctor could utter a word, the man’s head snapped up and his eyes widened at the intrusion. He then promptly stood up and fled.

Youngjae only stared in shock, and watched as the young man’s cloak billowed behind him as he ran deeper into the woods.

 

The stranger lingered on Youngjae’s mind long after he returned home. He wasn’t from the town, that much Youngjae knew, but he couldn’t help but wonder if the young man was real. The doctor thumbed through his notebook, the pages worn with various tea rings and rips from his sheer clumsiness, lingering on his edited entry on honeysuckles. He had added more to it when he arrived back to town, adding more details into the margins of the page just to make sure the directions were clear. He hoped he could go back, to that place and possibly use it as a safe haven to unwind after long days of work or even after spending hours looking for plants. Whatever the case, he solely wished to go back. And perhaps meet the mysterious young man on better terms.

Unfortunately, he had no reason to return to the forest, and he had a few home visits to attend to the following day.

 

 

 

The young doctor was exiting the town baker’s home, balancing a basket of fresh baked bread and his medicine bag in his arms, when a childish voice called out to him.

“Doctor!” A little boy ran his way, and Youngjae gave a brief glance to the out-of-breath woman behind the boy before directing his attention to him with a gentle smile.

“Good afternoon, Kisoo,” he greeted the grinning boy. Youngjae fumbled a bit with his belongings before setting his medicine bag on the ground and the gift basket atop that. Eye-level with Kisoo, Youngjae exaggerated his facial expressions while checking the boy over and smiled at the giggles he received in response. “You’re looking a lot better now, no more fever?”

“Yes, Doctor Choi!” Kisoo exclaimed, his wide grin revealing his missing front tooth. (The same one Youngjae assured the boy was perfectly normal and no, the rest of his face would not fall out as well less than a few weeks ago.)

“That’s wonderful! You ate the medicine I gave you every day, right?” He questioned, looking at the boy with a psuedo-serious expression. Kisoo tried avoiding the doctor’s expression, but Youngjae had enough experience treating the other children in the town to know what to do with the unresponsiveness.

“If you did, I would give you one of the sweets I have in my bag, but since you’re not telling…” Youngjae trailed off. He didn’t have to wait long before Kisoo nearly bowled him over, waving his arms in front of him.

“I did, I did! I promise, Doctor Choi! Can I have a candy now?” Kisoo’s mother only shook her head at her son and sent the doctor an apologetic smile. Youngjae chuckled when he met her eyes before he pat down his trouser pockets for the aforementioned candy. Kisoo was bouncing in his spot waiting for the treat in front of the doctor, and if it wasn’t for his mother’s hand on his shoulder who knows if the child wouldn’t have bounced away.

“Here it is,” Youngjae smiled, holding the telltale brown square of toffee between his fingers. Before he handed it over to Kisoo, he questioned one more time, “Are you sure you had your medicine everyday?”

“Yeeees, Doctor Choi! You can ask Mam!” The child held out his hand, thrusting it out a few times with shakes that ran up his whole arm, silently demanding the good doctor hurry up and place the toffee in his hand.

“Just making sure, Kisoo,” Youngjae shook his head, a fond smile on his face as the boy’s face lit up at such a simple thing. He exchanged pleasantries with Kisoo’s mother—mostly about the weather and what to eat with his newly acquired bread—and had picked up his belongings from the ground when a tug on his trousers caught him before he could leave.

The young doctor blinked down at the child, any trace of the toffee gone already. Kisoo motioned for Youngjae to bend down before the doctor could begin to question the boy. He looked to his mother, but even she seemed surprised, and even tried to get Kisoo to leave the doctor be.

“What is it?” He asked carefully, it was a little concerning how the child kept glancing from left to right as if something was going to appear. However, all the thoughts disappeared once Kisoo leans in close, hands cupped around Youngjae’s ear and whispered, “I have a secret!”

“Oh?” The doctor moves away from the boy to give him a look. Children and their secrets, he unfortunately came to realize over time, were mainly excuses to taunt adults. He smiled, hoping Kisoo would just tell him rather than dance around it and make him guess. He hated guessing.

Kisoo just nodded, grinning at him.

“Can you tell me the secret?” At first, Youngjae thought he was going to laugh, run behind his mother’s legs and say no. What happened instead was an amusing—from the doctor’s perspective—display of deep contemplation from Kisoo’s part, brows furrowed and a bit of tongue peeked out. It took a little more thinking until the boy let out a deep sigh and nodded to himself.

The young doctor watched as he shoved his hand down his pockets, and then held up a fist between the two of them.

“Miho gave me something when I was sick,” Kisoo started to say, keeping whatever in his fist still hidden. “She said I would get better faster if I had this and I think it worked better than the medicine, hee hee!”

The boy opened his palm to reveal a small, slightly rumpled looking four-leaf clover. Youngjae couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of him, it had been years since he had seen a “good luck charm.” He recalled his childhood, spending hours in the open field by his old home looking for the very plant sitting in Kisoo’s small hand.

“It’s magic!” He stage whispers to Youngjae. Above him, his mother shook her head, muttering something about children and their imaginations. Youngjae would have to agree, as disheartening as it was.

“Of course it is,” The doctor smiled. He ruffled the boy’s hair once before getting up again. “I’m glad to see you’re all better, Kisoo.” Brushing the dust off his trousers, he excused himself again and began to head towards his own home.

“Doctor Choi!”

He stopped walking and turned his head back, just in time to see Kisoo waving at him whilst his mother slowly tugged him away and toward the flower stand. (No doubt to replace that clover with something else, Youngjae thought.)

“You should get one too, Doctor Choi! It’ll bring you good luck!”

Youngjae only laughed and waved goodbye.

 

The next time Youngjae ventured out, he couldn’t help but stare longer than necessary at patches of flowers and areas under trees. He didn’t spend hours looking for clovers anymore, instead he spent hours looking for useful plants that could be made into medicine—that had a purpose. But, that didn’t mean he couldn’t spend just a little time looking for a four-leaf clover.

As he followed a small creek to the base of the mountains where mugwort grew, he wondered if there was a chance he would run into the young man from the forest again. Perhaps if he had a four-leaf clover, he snorted to himself.

Pushing his glasses up, Youngjae squinted up at the sky. The sun was high and bright against the clear blue, shining a bit too hot for the doctor’s taste. He felt uncomfortable wearing gloves, and removed one to dab at his forehead with a handkerchief he kept in his bag.

It was unusually warm for spring, which didn’t bode well for the upcoming summer. Youngjae sighed, and muttered a quick prayer that they won’t have a dry summer. He didn’t think he would be able to motivate himself against the heat to continue his plant gathering. Stepping under the low tree branches that hid the way to the mountain base, Youngjae placed his bag under the closest tree to where the mugwort plants were. He had brought along two medium sized wicker baskets, both intended to be full of the plant. The townspeople often used mugwort to cook, and every once in a while Youngjae was asked by shopkeepers to pick some for them. Of course he was paid for his services, but the doctor didn’t mind so much, the forest was peaceful and provided some quiet comfort the town didn’t.

 

Youngjae didn’t forget to pay attention to patches of three-leaf clovers, or to listen extra carefully for any sounds of plucking. (Footsteps would have be nothing short of a miracle.)

 

 

Time passed the same way it always had in the small town, people made their daily rounds through the multitude of little shops that sprang up from the time the town was founded, never stopping until their arms were full of food, cloth, books, or in some cases, children. The bell tower in the center of town rang, three gongs signaling noon. The children that weren’t in school were running by, some trailing behind their mothers and others kicking around a small ball.

Several times Youngjae was knocked into on his way from a patient’s home, each time the children shouting a quick apology, followed by a short bow, before running off again. The young doctor wasn’t bothered much, instead he shook his head fondly and continued on his way. They made the town more lively, and that kept his own spirits up.

 

As he made his way over back to his own house, near the edge of town by the forest, he bumped into an elderly couple headed toward the baker’s shop.

“Doctor! Good afternoon,” Mr. Heo greeted. He and his wife had been in the town since Youngjae settled in, and two of the healthiest people in town he’d come across.

Youngjae bowed his head, and smiled. “Good afternoon, Mr. Heo. Mrs. Heo.”

“Finished with your rounds today?” Mrs. Heo asked, smiling up at him. An empty basket hung from her arm, while the other was wrapped around one of her husband’s.

“Ah yes, I’m just heading home now,” he let out a breathy laugh, a little embarrassed he was ending his day so early when it seemed like everyone in town was out and about.

“Perfect time for a midday rest, if I do say so myself,” Mr. Heo laughed, and gave Youngjae a good pat on the shoulder. His wife scowled and nudged him, “You with your old man suggestions, the good doctor is still in his youth and doesn’t need to take a midday rest!”

She turned to face him, “Isn’t that right, Doctor?”

“Ah yes, I think I’ll go out into the forest and find some more camellia leaves,” Youngjae let out a short laugh, deciding on the spot. He could always use more tea leaves.

“Youth these days, so much energy.”

“Don’t be bitter, you,” Mrs. Heo lightly slapped her husband’s shoulder before turning back to the doctor. “We’ll leave you be, I’m sure you have much to do.”

Not too much, Youngjae thought to himself. “It’s alright. It was good to see you, Mr. Heo, Mrs. Heo. Enjoy the afternoon.”

“But doctor, just a warning, be careful in the woods. There are places the light cannot follow.” A pause. I hope you find those leaves.”

The couple then bade him farewell, leaving Youngjae to continue his way back and wonder what Mr. Heo meant. Truthfully, he did think about falling asleep in the middle of the day considering all his duties were fulfilled, and his suppers normally did not take too much preparation time, it would have been perfectly fine to just relax for the day. However, as much as he was a doctor, he was a man of his word. Camellia leaves weren’t too difficult to find, and if he could happen to find some near the peaceful clearing…well, no one would have to know if he managed to sneak a rest in or not.

 

Pulling one last leaf from the shrub, the young doctor leaned back and sat on the soft ground, letting his legs stretch out before him. He was finally relinquished from all the squatting he had to do, and could feel his leg muscles crying out in joy. Supported by his arms, Youngjae tipped his sun hat back and looked up at the sky, quietly admiring the clear blue speckled with soft white. He suspected it was well past noon now, having been out for a few hours already. Beside him was his basket, filled nearly to the brim with camellia leaves—enough for him to last at least two months—as well as his satchel. His leather bound notebook had slipped out, along with two miniature glass jars. At a glance the jars didn’t look like anything special, and one would have to wonder why the good doctor placed them in his personal bag rather than the basket as per usual. Maybe they would think it was because of the size that he placed them in his satchel, but upon closer inspection, the jars held just as much importance as the book in his bag.

Two jars, one empty, lightly knocking into the other as they both rolled out. The second held a small, worn bracelet. It was simply-made, nothing more than red twine and a small bell for decoration. It wasn’t made for an adult, one could tell that much. Perhaps it was for a young child, clumsily made by an older brother in an attempt of comfort. The doctor swore it was a story he would never tell, and would adamantly deny if anyone—his family—even whispered a breathe of it. He would admit, however, that it was a source of reassurance and keeping it on his person helped him through some more difficult times. It was his very own charm, a memory of the ones that cheered him on; he made sure to never leave home without it. They weren’t in any immediate danger, so Youngjae paid them no mind as his eyes followed a duck shaped cloud float slowly across the sky.

Youngjae let out a quiet laugh as the wind ruffled his hair, free from the confines of his hat, the longer strands of his bangs tickling his nose. He grabbed a handful of grass and watched the breeze carry the blades away. Tiny slivers of green against the white and blue of the sky; Youngjae wished he could just lay back and forget the world, just flow through life like the blades of grass he just sent off. It was more calming to be in an open space, away from other people, and surrounded by sounds he could only call nature. Even the smell, it was purely fresh air. He loved his little town, but after his recent trips into the forest, he could not help but wonder what life would have been like if he made his home in the woods. For a brief moment, the image of the strange young man flashed through his mind—did he live in the forest? But Youngjae himself had “explored” a fair bit of the woods and not once had he come across anything resembling a house. Perhaps it was more likely the man was from a neighboring town. However, there was also a chance he wasn’t.

The caw of a bird overhead snapped him out of his thoughts, his attention returning back to the environment around him. Youngjae hadn’t noticed it before, a black bird lazily circling above him. Unlike plants and herbs, the doctor had next to no knowledge of animals. He could identify colors and sizes, and of course the meats he would occasionally have in his meals, but that was as far as it went. He couldn’t help but think it strange, it wasn’t often he came across birds, even in town. He recognized the little brown birds that chirped in the mornings, and the geese that flew in “V” formations to name another, but seldom did he see black birds. Things seemed to get stranger and stranger all of a sudden, or maybe…maybe the sun was getting to his head.

He sighed and stretched his arms over his head, letting out a small noise as his bones cracked. The young doctor gently pushed his belongings back in his satchel and put his hat back on. He didn’t want to go back just yet, it was one of the more relaxing afternoons he’s had, but the sun was going to set soon. As calming as his woodland adventure was, he wasn’t so sure he would feel the same after dark. The townspeople were cautious for a reason, after all. He sent one last smile to his surroundings before pulling his satchel on and picking up the basket.

On his walk back to the town, Youngjae wondered what he should have for supper. Walking past the trees and the berries that hung on low branches, he contemplated a meal of mixed fruit and some bread he picked up earlier, or perhaps a bowl of rice with pickled radishes instead. Maybe a cup of tea with his newly acquired leaves as well. It did not sound like the most filling of meals, but truthfully the young doctor had no desire to prepare anything more complicated. It was moments like that he was reminded of his mother scolding him for eating all the roasted chestnuts, bread, or whatever it was on the dining room table and spoiling his dinner. He never had much patience when it came to food.

It was also moments like that he was too immersed in his own memories Youngjae failed to keep track of the environment around him.

The sun was setting, and the trees that lined the path cast their long shadows over the young doctor, hiding all the dips, bumps, and rocks along the way. He had taken a step, unaware of the slight rise in his path still thinking about what he had in his pantry, and was sent tumbling forward with a startled yelp. Youngjae scraped his palms against the ground, his knees meeting the same unfortunate fate. In the back of his mind, he hoped his trousers weren’t ruined. Pushing himself to sit upright by the nearest tree, he readjusted his glasses that were knocked askew when he fell. There was enough light, although at that point it had gone from a soft orange to a pale blue, to see the aftermath of his little stumble. His satchel, luckily, stayed by his side, no doubt the contents were somewhat jumbled up, but the clasp stayed shut so Youngjae did not worry too much. What proved to be the minor inconvenience were the camellia leaves scattered where he just stood. Nevermind that the doctor had numerous little cuts on his palms and knees, it was most displeasing all his hard work just spilled out like so.

Luckily for him, upon closer inspection, a majority had remained in the basket that lay on its side, and what had come out rest in several little piles next to it. They would have been relatively easy to scoop back in, and the dirty easily rinsed off when he returned, if it wasn’t for the sudden pain that shot up his leg when Youngjae moved to stand up. For someone who made it a habit to warn others to be careful, the doctor was terrible at following his own advice. Wincing when he raised a knee to gingerly lift up the trouser leg, he gently prodded his ankle.

“Perfect,” he huffed out, lightly rubbing small circles on the irritated area. Letting his head fall back against the trunk with a small thunk, he sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. If he had known he was going to trip and sprain his ankle, he would have never left his small sanctuary.

Youngjae let his legs stretch out before him, settling on top of the stray leaves and keeping them from blowing away with the wind. If he could get comfortable sitting in the woods when nightfall approached, perhaps life in the forest was not so impossible. However, it did not take long for unease to settle in. In his current state, he did not have much to do but to wait for the swelling to go down. He knew there was nothing dangerous nearby, the town was not too far off, but sitting idle in the woods with an injury was not an ideal scenario. He sighed again. Above him, a bird cawed, almost as in agreement.

 

“Watch your step,” Youngjae read aloud as he penciled it in his journal, underlining it several times for emphasis. Setting the notebook and pencil back in his bag, he let his head loll to the side to rest against his shoulder to lazily look around. Time seemed to slow since the young doctor injured himself, not more than ten minutes had elapsed, yet it felt like hours.

He could hear faint chirps from the way he came, almost drowned out by the sounds of the tree branches moving in the wind. There wasn’t much to look at, the white clouds from earlier nearly invisible against the evening sky, but was not dark enough for the stars to come out either. He blew gently on his palms, trying to get rid of any residual dirt or rocks he didn’t earlier. Youngjae knew it wasn’t going to be completely clean, not until he returned home, but he hoped he cleaned them as much as possible with what limited lighting he had.

Unfortunately one of his trouser legs was torn, a bit of blood staining the frayed edges of the rip. If only the grass around him were aloe leaves…Everything looked the same shade of green, the grass, the fallen leaves, even the flowers growing beside him at the base of the tree looked completely green. Perhaps he could pass the time plucking petals from the green flowers, he thought, absentmindedly pulling one from the ground.

The doctor almost pulled a petal off when he paused, bringing the little flower closer to his face. Mistaking a flower for being green all over wasn’t much of a mistake if the flower truly was completely green. Three rounded petals, shaped like clubs.

Youngjae pulled himself up straighter and nearly threw himself into the patch of clovers, pulling them out one by one in a near frantic state and ignoring the light sting in his knees for shifting positions. He would find the elusive four-leafed clover, if landing right next to a patch of the clovers wasn’t a sign of luck, he didn’t know what else would be. His hands hovered above the plants, pushing them back from certain patches he was inspecting. The sun’s light had not disappeared yet, giving Youngjae enough light to be able to see each individual clover without squinting too much. The day hadn’t ended so terribly as he thought, he chuckled to himself as he continued to search for the lucky clover.

 

At some point, in the midst of waiting for the swelling on his ankle to go down, the young doctor fell asleep underneath the tree with the sun’s orange glow lingering upon his cheek before she set. And clasped in a dirty hand, barely peeking out from his fist, was a tiny glass jar, holding a single four-leafed clover.

 

Youngjae fingered the bandages around his ankle, just having rewrapped it after he washed up for bed. It was strange..no, more curious than strange, what happened two nights ago, when he woke from his unexpected rest in the woods. The cup of tea on his bedside table had long cooled, most likely lukewarm at that point, but still the doctor took a long sip. Leaning back against his pillow and easing his leg down, he wondered what happened that night. It hadn’t left his thoughts since he got himself out of the forest, remembering how he hobbled his way back, holding onto the trees with one hand, and his basket filled back to the brim with camellia leaves in the other.

Perhaps the myths surrounding the four-leafed clover held some truth, he mused. A smile smile played on his lips, thoughts straying to luck, and the mysterious young man of the forest. Not too long ago the doctor had come up with a theory for what occurred while he was resting in the woods. He remembered falling asleep, his eyes tired from looking at the same cluster of trees before him, clutching the clover he found moments before. The curious thing, was when he woke, there were bandages and what he identified as aloe leaves on his lap. The leaves each sliced along the side, making it easy to squeeze out the insides to apply on his cuts and ankle. At the time he did not dwell too much on where the supplies came from, more concerned with wrapping his swollen ankle and leaving the forest before it got too late. He noticed after he attended to his injuries that his basket was upright, and placed carefully beside him as if it hadn’t flown out his hands earlier. The leaves that were scattered by his legs had been cleaned up, only a few stuck to his trousers that he later picked off.

It was clear a person helped him—it wasn’t as if anything else could—but who remained a mystery. A mystery why that person decided to help him, anyhow. Youngjae knew it couldn’t have been someone from the town, they would have roused him from slumber and helped him home otherwise. And even with the amount of times he had informed his patients to rub aloe on areas of irritation, he doubted too many of them would remember, much less find aloe to bring to him.

The young doctor sighed, bringing a hand to tiredly rub at his eyes. But the thought of the mysterious young man he ran into nearly a month ago kept him up. It should have been his first guess, if he had to be honest. Youngjae was sure he existed, he had seen him after all, and the man was the only one outside of the townspeople that could have done such a thing. If he remembered correctly, the young man had collected mint leaves, so he must have had some knowledge of plants. That brought the tired smile back, that someone other than him knew the medicine growing all around them in the forest. Youngjae decided then, that next time they crossed paths he would be fully conscious and thank the young man for his actions.

And perhaps, he could make a friend. With that last lingering thought, the doctor reached over and switched off his bedside oil lamp.

 

 

 

The doctor never enjoyed spring too much, the pollen in the air making his nose irritated. Of course he had his own concoctions to combat it and keep his irritation at bay, but nonetheless it was troublesome. The approaching summer season didn’t help, either. Youngjae enjoyed being outside, making house visits and seeing the rest of the town, but with the increasing temperatures, finding the will to leave his home was difficult.

It wasn’t even noon yet, but Youngjae already had to take off his coat, draping it over his arm as he made his way to the church at the center of town. It left the doctor in his waistcoat, with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his forearms; he wished he could roll up his trousers as well.

The inside of the church was cooler, which he was thankful for. Walking past the pews and deeper into the room, towards the candle-lit altar. Youngjae couldn’t help but admire all the colors reflected on the wall from the stained glass windows. It was uncommon in their town, and many had been pleasantly surprised when the priest unveiled them one winter morning. Word was that it was simply gifted to him, as a sign of appreciation for his service and devotion. Some say it was He himself that did, and others claim it was from a wealthy European that converted after listening to the priest’s sermon. Youngjae kept his distance from the rumor mill, having no interest in what the story was. Instead he just admired the depiction of angels on the windows, wings spread and halos aglow. They were truly beautiful to look at, and strangely enough, made him feel safer whenever he walked through those doors.

He knelt before the altar, laying his coat on the ground beside him, and clasped his hands together in prayer. He admitted to not praying very often, but still grateful for God watching over him and everyone in his life. He received a letter from his older sister that morning; their parents were doing well with the print shop, and their brother had just returned from his trip overseas. But the main point of the letter was to notify him she was with child—he was going to be an uncle! So the doctor had come in, to ask Him to watch over her, to bless her, her husband, and their family. Even though he was far away, they would always be in his thoughts. Youngjae ended his prayer with a quiet “amen,” and slowly rose from his kneeling position.

Brushing off his knees, he turned toward the exit and nearly missed the figure that emerged from the side door.

“Ah, Doctor Choi,” the voice called out to him before he even took a step forward.

“Father Park! I didn’t see you there,” Youngjae responded in kind, bowing his head slightly in greeting. It had been a while since he had seen Park Jinyoung, the priest always maintained a clean bill of health, hardly ever coming in to see him with any ailments. The only time they only ran into each other was during Sunday mass, but even then the Father was too busy with the more religious members of their town.

“It’s quite alright, I just came in,” he explained, a gentle smile on his face. If there was something the doctor was grateful for, was the Father’s calming smile. There was something about the man that exuded reassurance and trustworthiness, able to ease anyone’s worries. “How have you been?”

Youngjae adjusted his glasses and returned the smile, albeit a bit more shy despite knowing the man for years. “I’ve been doing well, my ankle has fully recovered already, so you won’t be seeing me hobble around anymore!”

The priest raised a hand to muffle his laughter, the image of a polite and gentle man. “I do have to admit, it was quite a sight. The doctor getting hurt? I didn’t think it was possible.”

“No human is that invincible, Father. I’m surprised I’ve made it this far without injuring myself, I have been known to be quite clumsy, you know.”

“Nevertheless, I am happy to hear you are well. If you don’t mind me asking,” he paused, moving to fold his hands behind his back, “What brought you here today? It’s quite unusual to see you here.”

“No not at all,” Youngjae said, “I thought it would be good to send a prayer to my sister, she sent word she will have a child!”

“That’s great news, Doctor! You must be happy for her, and your family as well. I too extend my blessings to her,” Father Park responded, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “And, forgive me if I am intruding too much, what about you? I’m sure the good doctor must have someone special in his life as well.”

“Ah,” Youngjae scratched the back of his neck nervously, feeling the warmth of embarrassment creep up his face. “No, nothing like that yet. I haven’t the time to for such relationships.” Or interest, he thought to himself.

“That’s a shame, but someday a woman that absolutely steals your breath away will enter your life, I’m sure of it,” the priest replied enthusiastically, patting his shoulder. “You will make a great husband, Doctor.”

“I’m..happy to hear you think so highly of me, Father, but currently I am quite content with everything as is. Helping people is all the fulfillment I need.”

“Yes, yes of course. The Lord has a purpose for you, Doctor, and will always be there to help guide you along your path.” Again, that serene smile appeared on the older man’s face, easing the discomfort of speaking about his romantic life so-to-speak, away.

“Yes, thank you. I hope the rest of your day goes well,” Youngjae said, bowing once more before turning on his heel. But he stopped halfway to the exit, turning back to the priest who had moved towards the candles at the altar. “Actually,” he began to say.

“What is it, Doctor?”

“Father, you,” he paused, thinking of the words he wanted to say. “You’ve been in this town for a long time, correct?”

“Yes, from when it was only a small settlement of a group full of people. You arrived shortly after this church was built, I believe. And made quite a name for yourself, I might add. A doctor at such a young age.”

“Oh, I was simply putting to use what I had learned! But back to what I wanted to ask you…you must know most, if not all the people in town then?”

“I’m sure you know them all as well, everyone pays a visit at least once, have they not?”

“I’d like to believe so yes, but there are some out there that are healthy as can be. You, Father, for instance.”

That made the priest laugh, the sound echoing in the near empty church. “You have me there, Doctor. But why is it that you ask about the townspeople?”

“It’s just…I met a young man. In the forest. I didn’t get such a good look at him, but he had hair the color of dark roses! I figured since you know everyone here, you might know who he might be,” he finished excitedly, hope bubbling inside him that the priest may know who the mysterious young man was.

But the hope was quickly crushed by disappointment when he noticed the look of confusion that passed Father Park’s face.

“The color of roses? Surely your eyes must have deceived you, there is no one with such strange coloring here,”

“Ah, I see. I apologize for—”

“However, I must warn you Doctor, for your own safety I would advise you to limit down your….excursions to the forest. If there truly is a person there and not from this town, they must be dangerous,” Father Park said to him, expression grave. He spoke as if he knew things Youngjae didn’t, that there was something sinister in the woods. It reminded the doctor of what Mr. Heo said to him weeks ago; he didn’t know what to believe. “The forest is home to many evil things, and even with the guidance of our Lord it is difficult to escape the grasp of that darkness. Please Doctor, heed my words.”

The meaning wasn’t lost on the doctor, but he also couldn’t understand the apprehension. He was aware most people were…wary of things unknown, and being surrounded by it did not help to ease their suspicions. But he had been venturing in and out since he arrived in town, and he knew enough not to fear the woods. What he didn’t realize were the people that were uneasy about it.

“I will watch out, but I hope you can understand there are things I need to pick myself to help everyone,” he answered carefully, not to offend the priest. “Thank you for looking out for me, I’ll be off now.”

Father Park looked as if he wanted to say something, but decided not to. His eyes seemed to darken, but Youngjae thought he just imagined it, attributing it to the dim lighting. Bowing one last time, he made his way out, the large doors slamming shut behind him.

 

 

 

Not too much time had passed since his conversation with the priest, and already the doctor was making his way into the forest again. He wasn’t afraid, or trying to prove anything by brushing off those that “warned” him, but he simply needed to collect the summer plants—chamomile, dandelions, thyme and so on. The doctor also planned on taking time away from his harvesting anyhow, he didn’t want to be under the summer sun longer than need be. It wasn’t as if many people needed him in the spring and summer times, mostly for itching, sneezing, and rashes, those of which he had enough supplies for.

Pushing back his sun hat to wipe the sweat of his brow, he paused when he reached the small opening he knew bushes of thyme grew. The sun was high in the sky, not a cloud in sight. He shook his head, scolding himself for going when the temperature was so high. Alas, it was too late to regret when he was already in the area; the thyme wasn’t going to pick itself. Adjusting his hat and pulling his gloves higher, the doctor decided to make a small detour and walk around the clearing to the creek not too far away. He couldn’t work with an empty flask, he was bound to become thirsty! So it was only the smart thing to do, he hummed to himself.

His satchel hit against his hip with every step he took, light clicks coming from inside the bag. He swung the empty basket in his hand as he walked, eyes focused on the creek that was slowly coming into view. The doctor had no complaints about the water from the well in town, but something about getting it from an open body of water seemed more fresh, in a way. Even from where he was, he could see the clear, blue water rushing down the stream. Sweet salvation from the harsh sun. It was almost worth going out all that way, just almost.

The doctor dodged a branch that was in the way, sidestepping it to avoid getting scratched in the face and nearly stumbling on a tree root that peeked from the ground. He wasn’t following a path, instead walking in between the trees, trees that had lower branches than he remembered. The forest was dangerous, he thought, but not in the way everyone else seemed to believe. He shook his head, not wanting to think ill of his fellow townspeople, it wouldn’t do anyone good. Getting closer to the creek, the doctor almost missed a slight dip in the ground if it weren’t for his sleeve getting caught on a piece of peeling bark.

“Huh,” Youngjae remarked. “Perhaps I do have better luck now,” he absentmindedly touched over his satchel. Carefully pulling his sleeve away lest he wanted to startle the birds nesting above him, he took cautious steps forward to the creek in case there was anything else that would cause a misstep.

As he knelt down to refill his flask, a shadow in the corner of his eye caused his head to snap up and turn around.

“There’s no such thing as luck,” the young man scoffed. He stood a respectable distance from Youngjae, on a path overlooked by trees with strange purple berries the doctor couldn’t identify. Once again, the young man carried a basket. Only instead of mint leaves, they seemed to be stalks of lavender. They were bright against the dark brown of his cloak, the same one he remembered from weeks ago. His hair remained the same strange color of dark rose petals that made his pale skin look that much paler and his eyes that much darker. It was the first time the doctor managed to get a look at him, and he wished to make the most of it. The young man was tall, taller than him at least, and the boots he wore only added to it. Much to his disappointment, Youngjae wasn’t given much else considering the cloak shielded most of the young man’s body. Nonetheless, the doctor concluded he was quite good looking, bound to cause a commotion with women in town.

“I’m sorry?” He managed to say, nearly swept away in his observations.

“There’s no such thing as luck,” the young man repeated, a brief look of annoyance crossed his face before it returned to the blank expression he stared at the doctor with. “Everything is a matter of chance.”

There was such an air of finality surrounding his words that Youngjae wondered if the young man was older than he seemed, the words almost like sage advice from a grandfather to his grandchildren.

“I..” the doctor was at a loss for words, staring curiously at the man who stood unmoving. Searching for something to say before the young man fled from him again, quickly stood up and took amusement in the slight widening of the others eyes. He didn’t mean to startle him, but it was rather comedic from his perspective. “Thank you,” he finally settled on, remembering what he wanted to say to him. “For the other day, my ankle is fine now.”

The young man looked conflicted, his eyes narrowed, but as quick as it appeared, it was replaced by the blank stare once again. It only served to make Youngjae more curious about him. He looked as if he wanted to deny the implications, one foot had turned to face toward the path, ready to leave, but didn’t. Instead the young man nodded, and shot him a weak glare.

“You need to be more careful,” was all he said.

“So I’ve been told,” Youngjae laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. The smile on his face betrayed the warmth slowly creeping up his neck at being scolded, by a stranger no less. “But, if I may, how did you find me?” As long as the young man was here, he would do his best to keep the conversation a float and perhaps find out a bit more about him. Partially to satisfy that curiosity, partially to become acquainted with him.

“I didn’t.”

“You…didn’t?” The doctor tilted his head in confusion, scrunching up his face as he often did when met with something he didn’t understand. His sister once joked if he kept that habit up, his face was bound to freeze up forever all scrunched. Of course it proved to be false, he learned later on during his schooling. The habit never died, though. “But that doesn’t make very much sense,” he continued.

“That is the answer to your question, and whether you understand it or not, it is the truth,” the young man replied, not fazed by the doctor’s puzzled expression. He stared coolly back at Youngjae, a faint smirk on his handsome face. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” the young man raised a hand, and whistled. A loud, high pitched sound pierced the comfortable silence, causing Youngjae to flinch. A rustle came from behind the doctor, followed by a large splash that sprayed water on his trousers and nearly caused him to fall back in surprise. The young man didn’t seem like he noticed, but the amusement flickering in his eyes when Youngjae looked up told him otherwise. However, his attention was quickly stolen away by the sandy feline that circled around the young man’s legs, its dark paws damp and darker from the water. He watched as the young man bent over to rub between the cat’s ears with a fond smile on his face. Its tail flicked around lazily, enjoying the attention.

The doctor stared in odd fascination, not expecting a cat to appear, much less one to appear on command like that. He hadn’t noticed before, but in the mouth of the feline was plump looking mouse, unmoving—a shiver ran through his body, they were natural predators so it should have been expected. By the time he recovered from his brief shock, the young man had turned his back and started to walk away, cream colored cat in tow winding around his legs in what seemed to be a playful manner.

“Wait!” He called out, mentally breathing out a sigh of relief when the young man stopped and turned his head to acknowledge the doctor. He had unconsciously taken a step forward, but didn’t move any further toward him. “Will I see you again?”

Once again, the doctor was caught off guard by the mysterious young man. Light laughter filled the air as the young man shook his head, as if it were the most entertaining thing he had heard. The cat took the opportunity to jump atop his shoulders, two toned tail wrapping around his neck. The young man wasn’t too bothered by the prey in its mouth, not reacting much except to lightly push the cat’s face away from his neck. The doctor was, however, in his own mind again, enchanted by the sound of his laugh. It reminded him of a child’s laughter, carefree and joyous. He prayed the answer be soon.

“Why don’t you wish upon that little plant of yours, hm?”

With that, the man disappeared into the trees. The doctor watched until he could no longer see that dark cloak flowing behind him. Upon his little plant…was he being ridiculed? Either way, he would wish to meet him again. The young man was strange, but in a pleasant, refreshing way, and so unlike the people he was surrounded by daily. A small smile, one that he would find appearing quite frequently in the future when thinking about the young man, slowly placed itself on upon his lips as he turned back to the creek.  In all the commotion he hadn’t even filled up his flask all the way. But strangely enough, he couldn’t have wished for a better outcome of travelling all that way.

 

On his trek back, the doctor realized he hadn’t even asked for a name.

 

 

 

True to his word, several more weeks had passed before the young doctor decided to venture out into the woods again. It was a cool day, cooler than it had been in a while, and Youngjae reasoned it was decent enough to step out further than just to the butcher shop. A merchant had been by recently, allowing him to restock on a few things including new texts about medicine, bandages and ginseng roots, which left very little that he needed. But with the sun showing mercy, the doctor figured going out wouldn’t hurt—he needed to stretch his legs some anyhow. Spending day and night hunched over his desk going over books and learning did not equate to a healthy lifestyle. In the back of his mind, he hoped the young man would once again appear like he had weeks ago. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it.

He grabbed his hat and stuffed lunch in his satchel, but left the basket and gloves on the shelf. He decided halfway to pulling on his boots he didn’t want to pick anything that day, instead he wanted to, for the lack of a better word, wander around the forest. It was something he used to do with a child with his siblings, playing hide-and-go-seek and chasing butterflies. Youngjae hadn’t done such a thing since then, more concerned with finding and picking the herbs he needed than aimlessly wander. It would be his exercise, and when he needed a rest he would find that small clearing again and catch his breath. He nodded to himself as he walked out his door, locking it behind him and walked toward the edge of town. He passed a number of people, many mothers tugging their children along to wherever, and a few others just chatting in the middle of the road. They waved to him as he passed, happy to see the doctor. Youngjae returned the gestures, bowing respectfully when he saw Father Park with the an older member of their community.

Nearing the path that led out of town, he noticed a black bird sitting on a branch of the tree to the right of the road. It looked at him, tilting its head from left to right a few times before flapping its wings and flying off. Strange, he thought, laughing it off as an avian mystery he’d never understand. He had seen many of the smaller, brown birds do that; hop around and move their heads around. Often causing a small ruckus with their loud chirping, but so was the life of a bird. The doctor clutched the sash of his satchel, if he found anything he wanted to revisit he would surely document in his journal. He was beginning to run out of empty pages, the journal being with him for as long as he could remember and filled with notes, stains, silly doodles, and probably tears. He made a mental note to purchase another journal soon.

Skipping over a fallen branch, he continued into the forest, deciding to head toward the mountains in the distance. It was barely noon, plenty of time to wander around and hopefully not get lost.

 

It couldn’t have been more than a few hours when the doctor decided to take a rest, stopping to take a quick drink from his flask. He wasn’t in familiar territory, straying from the taken path and opposite where he usually went, but remembered passing a small pond a little while back. It seemed like the best place to stop and regain his bearings. He had done a respectable amount of walking, and would have loved nothing more than to just sit. The very spot he stood was an option, but tempting as it was for his legs to give out and plop down, it was a good idea to begin backtracking.

Youngjae followed back the way he came, skipping over the same rocks and ducking under the same branches, and likely listening to the same birds chirp above him. Every so often a cool breeze would pass by, ruffling his clothes, and cause a content sigh to leave his mouth. Oh, how he wished autumn would arrive already. He quite adored the changing colors of the leaves; all the reds, oranges, and yellows made everything so warm and to him, it was comfort. From the slightly chilly weather to the abundance of pumpkin and squash in everything, autumn was by far his favorite time of year. His services were in higher demand, but that never bothered him as long as at the end of the day, he was allowed the time to curl up by his fireplace with a novel and a hot cup of honey tea. Unfortunately for him, there was still a few weeks of summer left. The doctor shook his head, staring at the trees around him as if the colors could miraculously change. Wouldn’t life be grand if he could control the seasons?

Nearing the pond, the doctor had never been more excited to see a rock in his life. He didn’t know much about geology, but was sure the flat slab of rock sitting underneath the large bending tree near the pond was absolutely perfect. Shaded and a safe distance away from the water that he wouldn’t fall in if he leaned over, Youngjae quickly made his way over, shedding his hat and bag, laying them beside him as he sat.

It was almost instantaneous as his body relaxed, slumping against the tree trunk and closing his eyes. No matter how many times he stopped to just listen to the sounds of the forest, he would never tire of the tranquility it brought him. If the townspeople only knew, instead of fearing it and venturing in themselves, they would understand there was nothing to be afraid of. Watching the ripples in the water spread as a strong wind passed through, Youngjae chuckled to himself how eerily similar the ripples were to their society. It only took a single person with enough power, or in his case powerful words, to reach a small group of people and from then on it would spread on and on—perhaps it was just the town, with all the older people, the large congregation, the traditional ones. He’d never been told to stay away from the forest when he was younger, not until he settled in town. He wondered if he had the same effect, helping person by person until nearly the whole town was well; he thought it a little silly afterword to think of it like that, but Youngjae had always liked to dream he would have a large impact. Perhaps there would have to be the right person to shake things up, so to speak.

Youngjae stretched his arms over his head and let out a low groan. Pulling his bag toward him, he took out the bundle of food he put together earlier. It wasn’t anything special, he unwrapped the cloth to simply reveal a baguette and some butter. Inching up closer to the edge of seat, he kicked off his boots and socks before picking up the small knife he also wrapped up to begin spreading the butter. With a burst of spontaneity, the doctor slowly dipped his feet in the shallow waters, shivering at the sudden coldness. He smiled, laughing into his midday snack while he slowly kicked his feet up, sending little droplets flying. And if he angled his head just right, he could see small rainbows.

The doctor spent a few more moments just feeling the breeze on his face after he finished most of his meal, letting himself digest. There was still a small portion of bread left lying on the cloth, but he could probably finish that on his walk back or even with his supper. Despite not having a large meal, he still felt somewhat sluggish and drowsy after eating. A few minutes more wouldn’t hurt, and Youngjae didn’t have any plans the rest of the day anyhow.

It wasn’t long before the comfortable silence was broken by the flapping of wings and several loud caws, snapping the doctor out of his daze. Several black birds, like the ones he had been seeing more frequently around, landed not too far from where he sat. They waddled around curiously, every so often spreading their wings and letting out a cry. Youngjae watched them, chuckling behind a fist as one pecked at the ground at something, but unsuccessful at getting whatever it was. Up close they were bigger than he previously thought, their feathers black and shimmery in the light unlike any other bird he had seen before. Leaning back, he tried to imagine what kind of conversation they were having, exchanging low caws back and forth—did you eat? Oh the sun is so bright today! It brought a smile to his face.

His hands knocked into his leftover lunch when he moved to grab his satchel, and an idea entered his mind. Youngjae remembered how sometimes the children would throw bread crumbs to the smaller brown birds in town; surely it was okay to do the same with the black birds as well. Tearing the bread into much smaller pieces, he threw them over to the cluster of birds. A safe enough distance from him and them, not to startle them away or cause them to attack him. He wasn’t sure if that was possible, but he didn’t want to take the chance. When the first bird walked over to grab a piece into its beak, the rest came over until Youngjae couldn’t see anything except a mess of black and wings. Grabbing his bag and hat, he slipped his socks and boots back on, ready to walk back.

The doctor didn’t know if he was imagining things or not, but as he walked around the group of birds, it felt almost as if he were being watched.

 

 

 

The leaves crunched under the doctor’s heavy boots, shattering into pieces with every step and swept away by the wind. The colors of autumn decorated the forest in the reds, oranges, and yellows Youngjae had been waiting for, but as warm as the colors were, they did nothing to help the cold air chilling him to the bone. He chuckled under his breathe at the irony; years had passed and it was nothing new, but the frustration stayed and grew with each passing.

He collapsed at the center of the clearing, leaned back against the rock he spent so many times before, and screamed into his gloved hands. A cool breeze passed by, moving the scattered leaves along as if they knew to leave the doctor alone. The trees rustled, more drops of red and orange falling to the ground covering the surrounding area in a blanket of vibrant hues. The winds blew and the leaves moved, creating the illusion of a burning flame swirling around the young doctor. But it was cold, everything was so cold.

It was ironic, how his favorite time of year brought could also bring misfortune. He had known, he had read and learned and experienced, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault. People could fall ill at any time, for a variety of different reasons, and while it was his job to prevent it and do his best to heal it, there was no helping the despair that came with not being able to. He pulled his cloak tighter around himself while he brought his knees to his chest, huddling over himself to keep the cold out. He didn’t even want to see the white puffs of air with every breath he took, not when the small, fragile boy laying in bed struggled to take just one.

He had been sick for a while, thank you for doing your best, we understand, it’s in God’s hands now; they could say all they wanted, but nothing would quell the guilt that grew inside of him. It wasn’t new, that not everyone could be helped, that life had to go on, but would he still feel human if he couldn’t be sad about it? His palms dug into his eyes, as if he could physically push back the tears of frustration.

Shin Dongho was a sickly boy with weak lungs, his mother said. They previously lived in a smaller town, somewhere tucked away and far, before they found their way to his town. Some fresh air would do him good, his mother had told him when they first met, when Youngjae was first asked to administer medicine for her son’s cough. Dongho was always quick to fall sick, nearly as soon as the temperature dropped he would be the first with a cough or a sneeze. It was heartbreaking and sad, and over time Youngjae figured out how to make the medicine less bitter and more sweet to make it easier for the boy. He remembered the look of surprise on Dongho’s face when he took it, and laughed when he asked if it were really medicine.

Before him, the boy had seen another doctor. From what he was told, he was an intelligent man, older than Youngjae, and helped Dongho through some of the worst winters. He had done all he could for the boy, and before the Shin family left he had told them to prepare their hearts for the years to come. It was at their first meeting Dongho’s mother told him that, with a heavy heart and a sad smile.

He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to tell them the same thing, he didn’t want to give up. Youngjae hoped, he prayed at church, he did all he knew, but Dongho only seemed to get worse as the days passed. It frustrated him to no end, it was going to be his fault if anything bad happened. He hugged his knees closer to his chest, and kept his eyes shut tight. He couldn’t bear to be in town, around everyone, surrounded by things that only reminded him his inability to do anything.

Only the whistling wind kept him company.

 

 

 

With every passing the day the temperatures dropped, and more leaves covered the ground than the trees from where they came. But even with the freezing winds that nipped his nose and cheeks til they were red as cherries, he only pulled his scarf higher up and trudged back to his quiet clearing in the forest. Not one bit of dirt could be seen under the sea of red and orange.

He breathed a heavy sigh when he finally reached his destination, fogging up his glasses in the process. The young doctor shivered when he sat on the rock, feeling the cold even through his thickest of trousers. He slumped forward, and tilted his head up toward the sky. Wisps of his breath floated up, and if he wanted to, he could imagine they were clouds. The sun was hidden, obscured by gray.

The young doctor looked at the jar in his gloved hands, at the fading red string and silver bell. He kept it in his hand all day while he did his errands, needing to hold onto something solid and reassuring. He briefly wondered how his family was doing, but shook his head at how silly he was being. They had sent a letter not too long ago. Everyone was fine and happy, especially his sister.

And suddenly, ash covered his view.

He jolted in his seat and nearly dropped the jar, a small cry escaping him. Luckily no one was around to hear it, except for the familiar cream and ash colored cat staring up at him.

Youngjae maintained eye contact while he slowly moved to put the jar in his coat pocket, the voice in the back of his mind telling him not to make any sudden movements.

“Hello,” he said. The cat only stared back. The young doctor cleared his throat. “Your owner isn’t here?”

No answer.

“Should you really be out without him?” Youngjae continued, not caring he was talking to a cat. It was therapeutic, just to talk, even to someone that couldn’t respond. “It’s cold, you know? And I’d like to think your owner cared about you enough to keep you indoors. I hope he knows where you are.”

“Do you know where he is? To be honest, I’d like to meet him again, but I don’t even know his name. It’s strange, but he seems like a good person,” he laughed quietly to himself. “Is he?” Youngjae glanced down into the clear blue eyes of the beige feline, smiling when it brought a dark paw to swipe at its ears.

“I’d like to think I’m a good person too,” he paused, looking out into the distance. “There’s a boy back in town, and he’s very sick. He’s been sick, in fact. But I’ve been helping him and trying to make him feel better. A little while ago he became very, very sick, coughing, fever, chills, it wasn’t pleasant. It took a long time, and a lot of waiting for it to…to go away? Is that the right thing to say?

‘It was frustrating, very frustrating because I didn’t want him to be in pain anymore but it just kept getting worse. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted so bad for him to get well and it…I remember being so angry for being useless and sitting right here,” Youngjae looked back at the cat and let out a breathy laugh, the white puffs of air dancing before him, “Wallowing in my misery. But then, then his fever went down and I thought I was going to cry! His mother did instead, and I’ve never felt so relieved. It took a little while longer, but he stopped coughing so much as well. One of the women in town gave some of her old blankets to their family, so hopefully he’s going to be able to keep warm the rest of the year.”

The cat beside him finally meowed, jumping off the rock to chase after a leaf in the wind.

“Did I bore you?” The doctor laughed, leaning back on his palms, watching it jump and chase after the orange leaf. The wind picked up and carried it off, up into the sky and deeper into the forest. The cat watched it, its tail flicking back and forth before its whole body bristled from a particularly strong breeze.

“Over here,” he said softly, sitting back up and catching the cat’s attention. Its blue eyes turned back to look at him, waiting. “You should go home, it’s getting colder. Don’t get sick, alright?” The young doctor thought about reaching over to pet it, but decided against it when it turned its head away. He stood up, brushing off imaginary dust and straightening his scarf. “I hope I’ll see you again, and maybe bring your owner along next time, hm?”

Youngjae laughed when the cat ran off to chase a black bird that landed for a brief second before it flapped its wings and flew away again.

 

 

 

It didn’t take long for Youngjae to go back into the forest, a small bottle of warm milk tucked safely in his bag. He had finished up his daily chores and checked up on Dongho, the boy had been doing better and didn’t require as many visits as before, but that was no reason not to visit. It was midday, and only a few hours before sunset, so Youngjae hoped it was a good time to accidentally run into someone. If even just the cat.

Breathing into his cupped hands, he tried to keep himself warm as the wind blew in his face, a tad more ruthless than the days before. Before he knew it, winter would be upon them and it would be less interaction for everyone. The young doctor pulled the hood over his head, and held it down as another strong wind passed by. Had he known it was so windy, he would have reconsidered journeying all the way out.

As soon as he saw a glimpse of the rock, he quickened his pace to a jog, his cloak flowing in the behind behind him. The leaves moved behind him, kicked back and scattered elsewhere. Deep into autumn the clearing looked different; gone were the honeysuckles and replaced by leaves of the same color on the branches and on the ground. The toadstools barely peeked out from under the masses of leaves, the colors blending together into an indistinguishable pile. The green had obviously faded, to a dry yellow, and other areas a dead brown. Nonetheless, the changing season didn’t take away the beauty or tranquility of the area, to which the young doctor was appreciative.

Brushing away the stray leaves that found themselves atop his rock, he settled down and curiously looked around, even bending backward to check behind him. He let out a sigh and blew his bangs out of his face, followed by a small whine when he unintentionally fogged up his glasses. Though Youngjae preferred to wear his glasses, it wasn’t as if he were blind without them. In fact, he could see perfectly fine. No one could fault the doctor for wanting to look a little more pleasing to the general public. But he supposed with the dropping temperatures he could do without them, until spring came back and nothing else could fog his glasses up.

With nothing else to do, he took the bottle of milk out, along with a small dish he typically used for radish, and set it beside him. He poured the milk into the dish, shivering a bit when the wind nipped at the exposed flesh of his wrist. He didn’t want the milk to go to waste, and thought maybe there was a chance the cat would smell it and come along. The doctor surprised himself with his own thoughts, not believing the lengths he was going to for an animal. Although, a voice in the back of his mind supplied, it was moreso for the human that came along with the animal.

It was then the most peculiar thing happened, as soon as he put the cork back over the bottle, a meow from behind the doctor startled him. The blue eyes of the sandy cat looked up at him, dark paws set upon the rock. It had a navy colored handkerchief wrapped around its neck, not much to block out the cold Youngjae thought to himself, but he supposed there wasn’t much in the animal clothing category in the world. And, it was somewhat adorable if he had to give an opinion on it.

“Hello there,” he smiled, patting the spot beside him. Immediately, the cat leapt up and circled its spot. Ears twitching, it looked at the dish of milk and back at the doctor. He only laughed and nudged it forward.

“Still roaming around the forest by yourself, hm?” Youngjae asked, watching its pink tongue dart in and out, lapping at the milk. He’d never owned a pet before, and wondered if that was all there was to it. “If you were a child I’d scold you for running off without your parent, but I believe cats are more independent than children, or something along those lines. Would you consider that man your parent?”

The sandy feline meowed, raising its head to look at Youngjae before going back to the milk.

“Regardless, I’m sure he’s worried about your whereabouts even though I am a perfectly suitable guardian when he’s not around. I even brought you milk! It must count for something,” he exclaimed, sure of himself. “I do wonder what your name could be, I don’t think referring to you as “it” is very polite.“

Alas there was no way the young doctor would be able to figure out the name of the mysterious feline, with only said feline to interact with. He sighed, his breath coming out in white puffs that threatened to fog his glasses up again if he hadn’t waved it away with a hand. "I think I’m beginning to lose my mind, in this forest waiting to see your owner again. He is real, and not a figment of my imagination? I certainly hope you’re real as well, or I may truly be going insane. I’m aware of the possibility of fever induced hallucinations, and think it would be rather unfortunate if that is what all this is,” he continued, freely speaking what was on his mind since no one was present to question what he was saying. Youngjae paused for a moment, thinking something over.

“Would be alright if I pet you? To make sure you are real and not made up,” he said. The cat hadn’t moved from its position, instead now it was sitting up and staring at Youngjae. He was no expert in the emotions of felines, but he was sure it wasn’t going to bite him at any moment. Taking off his glove, he slowly reached over to lightly run his fingers through the short fur in between its ears, careful not to put too much pressure. Sure enough, it was warm and soft, and his hand did not pass right through it. He continued the petting motion, watching the cat carefully for any changes. It closed its eyes and subtly butt its head against his hand, a gesture Youngjae assumed meant continue.

The sun had almost set by that point, the light around him fading to give way to dark shadows, but Youngjae hadn’t a thought in his mind to leave just yet. The cat—Youngjae didn’t know what else to call it—had long finished the milk, the dish wrapped in cloth and back in the doctor’s bag. It was pacing around his legs, stopping every so often to paw at a leaf or whatever it was on the ground. It was getting darker and more difficult to make things out.

“Do you normally stay out this late? I can’t say I condone such behavior unsupervised,” the doctor chided, wagging his finger at the uninterested cat. “Though it is partially your owner’s fault since he is responsible for you.”

He huffed and pulled his cloak closer to himself, folding his arms underneath. The sky was darkening into navy, and if he squinted Youngjae could make out a few stars. Turning his attention back to the sandy, silver under the night sky, cat, he noticed a faint glow in the distance deeper into the woods. However it quickly flickered out of existence, making the doctor wonder if he were seeing things. Shaking his head, he addressed the cat again, “Do you like stargazing? It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to see the night sky this clearly.”

The cat meowed and leapt up next to him, tail brushing against his covered elbow. He laughed and looked back up, noticing the light again out of the corner of his eye. This time, brighter than before. But before he could say something about it, his companion jumped off and scampered towards it.

“What are you doing here,” the doctor heard before he saw who it was. His eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness, he made out a tall figure behind the lamp.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, when he realized who it was. “It’s you!” Youngjae quickly stood up, an excited smile on his face. It wasn’t returned.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the young man said, walking forward without stepping on the cat weaving between his legs. He stopped a few feet from Youngjae, staring him down.

“Maybe I should have wished you would greet me properly,” the doctor laughed, paying no mind to the young man’s words. The latter rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything more. “It has been a while, and I did wish to meet you again.”

The young man slowly shook his head, bringing his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, and muttered something Youngjae couldn’t catch. “It’s nightfall, you really should be home.”

“It’s alright, I think I quite like being outdoors under the night sky. The stars are especially bright here,” the doctor answered, spreading his arms out, but quickly brought them back to his body when the wind blew.

“You need to head home,” the young man continued to press. “Dangerous things lurk here at night.”

“What, like you?” the young doctor responded, laughing through his nose.

“Exactly like me, now go.” The light from the lamp cast dark shadows upon the young man’s face; his serious expression intimidating the doctor a tad. However, he wasn’t one to give up so easily.

“I don’t believe I need to,” he said, sitting back down. He leaned over and wiggled his fingers toward the cat, teasing it to come closer. The young man watched for a moment, and heaved a heavy sigh.

“Are you always this difficult?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” the doctor smiled up at him, scratching the cat behind the ears. The young man looked thoroughly annoyed, a cross look on his handsome face. Even in the dark, Youngjae could recognize beauty when he saw it.

Sighing once more, he walked closer to stand before the doctor. Before he could question it, the young man bent down to pick the cat up, once again allowing it on his shoulders. He watched the cat drape itself on his shoulders and hide under the cloak the man still knelt before him wore.

Youngjae laughed at the displeased expression on his face when the feline nuzzled itself against his neck, no doubt tickling him. It only served to make him laugh louder when the young man directed the expression at him.

“Come on then, get up,” he said, rising to his feet once more. Youngjae was confused.

“I’m sorry?”

“Clearly you intend to be difficult, so I’m going to take you back.”

“More curious than difficult, really,” he responded, getting up to stand beside the young man. The other did have some height over him, the doctor noticed, barely a few centimeters shorter.

“I’m sure.”

The two set off toward the village, the young man holding the lamp out in front of them. There wasn’t going to be a repeat of a few months ago, not if Youngjae could help it. It was quiet, save for a few caws in the distance, and the sounds of the leaves rustling.

“I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced,” the doctor began, breaking the silence. Much to the young man’s displeasure, judging by the quiet huff Youngjae barely heard. “My name is Choi Youngjae, the doctor of the town.” He finished with a smile, and even with the dim lighting he could see the exasperation on the others’ face. The young man was truly a different type of person, and Youngjae found himself smiling even wider.

“I do hope this wasn’t planned, otherwise I wouldn’t know whether to laugh or wonder if people really are this mundane,” the other replied, while suppressing a small shiver. The doctor moved a little closer, their covered arms nearly touching. “My name is Yugyeom. And her’s is Nora”

“Her..” Youngjae repeated, looking to where the young man—Yugyeom, his mind corrected—motioned his head. “Ah, your cat! It’s good to finally put a name to the face, both of you!”

Yugyeom looked at Youngjae from the corner of his eyes, the corners of his lips slightly quirking up. “You’re strange,” he said.

“Coming from a person roaming the forest at nightfall? I’d like to think otherwise,” the doctor shot back.

“Oh of course, more so than a person sitting in the woods at the same time,” Yugyeom responded just as quickly. Youngjae just laughed.

The continued on, a comfortable silence settling between the two as they eventually made their way to the outskirts of town. The faint lights from the lanterns became more visible as the two got closer. Youngjae didn’t live too far, preferring to be closer to the forest for when he needed to collect his herbs. However, as soon as they reached the town, Yugyeom stopped.

The doctor hadn’t realized until he wasn’t being followed until he noticed only one shadow beside him.

“Yugyeom?” he called out, turning back to see the young man standing at the unofficial border, still under the trees that overlooked the path out of town.

Yugyeom only smiled at him, nearly startling Youngjae—in all their past encounters he’d never seen that expression on his face—and bade him good night. The doctor, surprising himself, made his way back toward the taller man instead of continuing his way home. It had become rather late, and quite ludicrous that someone would still be out, alone no less.

“You’re not going back into the forest are you? You said yourself, it is dangerous,” Youngjae reasoned, “You should head home as well!”

The young man didn’t respond with something biting, but laughed instead. He laughed at the strangest moments, the doctor thought to himself, but found his eyes drawn to the way Yugyeom’s mouth curved upward, and the way he slightly threw his head back. It was a quiet laugh, so not to startle Nora, and quickly quelled by a small cough.

“You needn’t worry about me,” Yugyeom reassured him, a small smile adorning his face.

“But—” he wanted to protest, but Yugyeom cut him off.

“Good night, Youngjae,” he said once again, before turning on his heel and walking back into the dark forest.

Once more, Youngjae was left watching his back, cloak billowing in the wind behind him until the light grew fainter and fainter, until he could no longer see any trace of Yugyeom.

 

 

 

“This must be a joke,” Yugyeom said as soon as he stepped into the clearing.

“Yugyeom! How nice to see you again,” Youngjae smiled up at him, from his spot at the foot of a tree.

It was still early in the day, the sun almost risen to its highest point and bringing up the temperature ever so slightly; or it could very well be a trick of the mind. The doctor had come out early morning, with the intention of taking a short walk before going about his daily chores. The town was quiet in the mornings, not many people out especially when the air was cold, but he passed by several townspeople opening up shop. One of which, was an old woman selling steamed yams.

So the young doctor found himself settled underneath a tree, watching the leaves fall around him, warming himself with a small bundle of steamed yams on his lap. He let them cool for just a bit, to avoid the steam from fogging his glasses, before he began to peel them and feed his hungry stomach. It wasn’t long until a familiar cream colored cat padded its way through, leaping onto a low branch nearby and watched the leaves fall with him.

“You said you were a doctor,” Yugyeom ignored his greeting, moving forward to stand near the centre rock. “Don’t you have duties to be attending to?” The young man set his basket aside, and put a hand on his hip, staring at Youngjae with a quirked brow. From where he sat, Yugyeom looked like a disappointed mother.

“The life of a doctor isn’t all work and no play,” he responded with a small laugh, and reaching for a yam, he offered it to the man. “Hungry?”

Yugyeom just clicked his tongue, but politely declined. A bit of a contradiction, that man. “Well, don’t let me intrude on your ‘play,’ and may I remind you not to linger around until nightfall again.”

“Why, it sounds an awful lot like you’re worried for me, Yugyeom.”

The young man shrugged, shaking his rosy bangs out of his face. “Delude yourself however you want, but I absolutely am not going to walk you back again.”

“A shame, company is always welcome,” he said. “Even if they’re as grumpy as you.” The doctor couldn’t help the smile when Yugyeom rolled his eyes, he had the feeling the man had been holding that back for a while. For certain, the young man was a breath of fresh air in Youngjae’s life, giving him the reactions and saying things he wouldn’t dream of hearing from those in his own town. “Perhaps you’ll walk with me here, instead?”

“Perhaps in your dreams, doctor.”

 

 

 

The following weeks passed quickly, the trees became barren and the winds colder, people shuffled around buried in thick cloaks over knit sweaters and woolen hats, greeting each other with rosy cheeks and gloved hands. Winter was upon them, the gray clouds above them holding promises of only snow. Many had begun stocking up on meats and vegetables that could be preserved easily before the last leaves fell from the trees, others gathered wood for their fires, and some spent their time knitting, sewing, or mending cloth in preparation. The townspeople held their own in the coldest of seasons, conscious of their health and those of their family, but still had the little slices of paradise they found.

The doctor had told Yugyeom that one day, while the trees around them still carried reds and oranges. That some people looked forward for winter, just to light the fire and gather around with a warm blanket. Yugyeom had only laughed, and nodded in understanding. Youngjae went on to talk about the snow, and how loudly the children would yell at hours he believed no human should be awake. Most children were excited for the coming of snow, in previous years many snowmen littered their streets, tall ones to short stumpy ones with pencils for arms, and even little snow animals. That time, he asked if Yugyeom enjoyed the snow, and was met with a shake of the head. No, he had replied. It was much too cold for him, and Youngjae found himself agreeing.

The two had met sparingly, sometimes once per week, sometimes it was nearly two weeks in between, but without fail they would run into each other in what the young doctor proclaimed in his head was their little piece of mind—a rather clever play on words if he said so himself. If he voiced it aloud, he was sure Yugyeom would shake his head in disdain, or maybe worse not meet him again. The doctor wouldn’t want that.

“Have you ever come to see me, but I wasn’t there?” The doctor asked one chilly afternoon, sat beside the young man on the rock, a basket of colorful rice cakes between them. It was brought by Yugyeom, according to him an equivalent exchange for the pumpkin tarts Youngjae shared their previous encounter.

“Of course not,” Yugyeom answered, plucking one from the basket before popping it into his mouth. “Only if are here, I will come.” He scowled when a cold wind passed by, ruffling his hair and staining his already red cheeks a hue darker. Perhaps it was rather stupid for the two to continuously stay out in the cold, but it seemed neither cared, or cared too much about another matter altogether to notice.

“But surely it is impossible for you to know whether I’m here or not,” Youngjae questioned as he dusted his lap of any crumbs and reached in the basket under the cloth for another. “As I recall, there is no such thing as luck!”

“Perhaps I have a knack for finding idiots, then?” The young man laughed at the scandalous expression on the doctor’s face, dodging the hit aimed for his arm.

 

 

 

Youngjae pulled his hat down father over his ears as he made his way to the bakery, the wind merciless. Unlike Yugyeom, the doctor had no idea whether the other would be there if he went out, but regardless Youngjae couldn’t walk there empty-handed. Several days had passed since they last seen each other, Youngjae fondly remembering how Nora jumped into a rather large pile of leaves and startled Yugyeom as a result. That day, the young man had brought with him a jar of buckwheat tea that was surprisingly still warm when it was handed to the doctor. The two shared a quiet moment warming themselves with the tea, of course before the sandy cat caused a ruckus.

He planned to purchase a few biscuits to go along with chamomile tea. Not yet brewed, but there was time for that after. Something simple he could bring along with him in a small basket, only so he could keep his hands buried in his pockets and not weigh him down as he trudged on in the cold.

He passed by a lone stand on his way to the baker’s, empty and barren on the side of the street. The vegetable merchant hadn’t come in a little while, and the doctor had started missing tomatoes. They weren’t in season anymore, but he couldn’t help but miss the taste—squash wasn’t as satisfying. What he had in excess were oranges and mandarins instead, and plums that reminded him of the color of Yugyeom’s hair.

Quickening his pace, he hurried to the bakery. The sun was only up for so long before she set, and Youngjae didn’t want to hold off meeting his companion a day longer.

 

 

 

“Here,” Yugyeom said, dropping a basket by Youngjae’s feet. The doctor didn’t hear him approach, immersed in a new book the town’s school teacher had recommended. It was a poem, like those that were so popular abroad, that told the tales of a hero and his amazing feats. He had just read about the man slaying a great lion, when Yugyeom appeared before him. The young man was like a lion, but the doctor only thought so because lions were just big cats, weren’t they? The tall man couldn’t be such a small feline, after all. But just where was his imagination going?

“What is this?” He asked, setting the book aside and curiously lifting up the corner of the cloth that covered the contents. Half expecting to see more sweets similar to the little cakes the young man brought weeks before, Youngjae was surprised to see vegetables. Napa cabbage, some corn, bracken, and poking through the stalks of spring onion, the doctor was shocked to see some tomatoes. He looked up to Yugyeom staring absentmindedly at his nails like he was bored waiting while the doctor was sifting through the basket. The young man eventually noticed the doctor gaping a him, his mouth opening and closing as if he were a fish. Yugyeom only quirked a brow.

“You, how?” Was all Youngjae managed to piece together, pulling the basket closer to  himself to properly look through it.

“I remember you wailing about missing your precious tomatoes,” Yugyeom said, lightly kicking Youngjae’s boot to get him to shift over so he could take a seat beside him. “So out of the kindness of my heart I plucked a few from my garden. There are a few ginseng roots in there, as well.”

The young man continued, “Assuming you know how to use them, and not just mash them into juices and salves.”

“Very funny,” Youngjae rolled his eyes, still appreciative of the gift nonetheless. “But thank you, waiting for the merchant takes too long these days. Having your own garden is quite convenient, isn’t it? I wish the townspace would permit it.”

Yugyeom just shrugged in response, kicking up the dead leaves by their feet.

“Living here must be nice, then,” he went on to say, “Having everything you need around you naturally.”

He looked over at Yugyeom when he didn’t receive a response, not quite surprised to see the young man staring up at the sky. He observed Yugyeom’s profile; watching the white puffs of air slowly appear every time he exhaled, the way his hair brushed over his eyes when the wind blew, and admired how effortlessly calm he looked.

“Something like that,” Yugyeom finally breathed out, turning his attention back to Youngjae. The doctor hadn’t realized he’d even been heard, knowing the other’s tendency to just stare off into nothing.

“Well,” the doctor says, struck with a idea, “If you’re ever sick of the same scenery, you’re more than welcome to come to me. Especially after you’ve gotten me the tomatoes..Ah! How about I make dinner for us?” He finished excitedly, a wide smile on his face.

Yugyeom, on the other hand, simply looked puzzled. “Did you…did you just make…if I’m sick I should go to you. Really.” he deadpanned.

“Make a what?” It was Youngjae’s turn to be confused, going over what he said before to make sense of what Yugyeom was saying. “I dont beli—oh. Oh!” Realizing what the young man meant, he burst into giggle at his own unintentional joke.

“You’re such a child,” Yugyeom rolled his eyes. Though, he did nothing about the smile on his face, and  just shook his head.

“I’ll have you know I’m 25 years of age,” The doctor replied with a huff, “With a grand sense of humor!”

Yugyeom scoffed, “I stand corrected, you’re an old man.”

“You’re a, what’s that word children use nowadays, ah I remember—”

“Oh doctor, I think your memory is going perhaps you shouldn’t exert yourself.”

“—a sourpuss!”

“Incredible.”

Youngjae slapped Yugyeom’s shoulder in retaliation, smirking when the young man yelped in surprise.

“Now that we’ve established I can be quite hilarious,” the doctor could practically feel Yugyeom rolling his eyes, “I insist that you come with me to my home, and I’ll show you I am perfectly capable of cooking a meal!”

“That’s alright,” came the surprisingly tame response. The young man was laughing into his fist, his eyes nearly disappearing into little crescents, “You needn’t prove anything to me. Though, I am flattered.”

“I insist!” the doctor repeated. It was a matter of pride. “It’s the least I can do in return, I don’t know how else to thank you.”

“It’s really quite alright,” the young man replied. “Besides, it gets much too cold during the night and having to walk back home in it would be a nightmare.”

It sounded like an excuse, but the doctor did see his point. It wouldn’t do for Yugyeom to get sick, and as both a doctor and a friend, Youngjae didn’t want that to happen. So he sighed, “Alright, but next time, then? I do want to thank you.”

The young man only smiled and said nothing more.

 

 

 

Snow covered the ground, hiding everything under a bright white. It started a few days ago, and caught the doctor by surprise while he was walking home. What began as a light dusting of powder white quickly became heavier, to the point most everyone had to stay indoors until it lightened up once again. Youngjae saw people trudging through the snow, clad in thick cloaks and hopefully even warmer hats and scarves, holding bags of what he assumed could only be food to their homes. During those days, he was thankful he had enough food in his house, and enough supplies for warm cups of tea, as well as wood for the fire. He watched from his window how the snow gradually piled up, and coming down so heavily he could barely make out the farther buildings in town.

There wasn’t much he could do in that kind of weather, nor much he wanted to do, he thought as he settled down in front of his fireplace with a thick quilt he pulled from the closet. There were several novels scattered around him, ones that he decided to purchase on a whim when he passed by the book shop. He had begun to read all of them, but never found the time to finish; he stopped off in varying different parts in each of the novels, and some he had only read the first two pages. With a hot cup of green tea at his side, Youngjae leaned back and picked up the book closest to him. A love story, he remembered from the first few chapters, about a princess and her knight.

It was strange, the young doctor never cared too much for romance, nor did he understand why some people were so adamant about marriage, but yet he was reading a love story. (He would admit the cover was extremely eye catching, hence why he purchased it at all.) But as he read on about the couple’s forbidden love, he wondered what kind of tea Yugyeom preferred.

As the princess snuck away in the dead of night to meet her lover, Youngjae mused it could be mint, what with the amount he remembered the other man picked the first time he’d seen him. While the princess cried for her knight who was to go off to join a pointless war, Youngjae imagined what the young man would be doing were he there with him. Perhaps sitting beside him, making faces at the very book he was reading and ridiculing the knight’s silly proclamations of love. Or would he nurse a cup of tea, sitting by the window under another one of Youngjae’s blankets watching the snow fall? The doctor wondered, but he knew regardless what the young man did, Youngjae only wished him to be there.

The doctor didn’t find out whether the knight came back, nor if the princess stopped the war—he’d lost interest when the duke of some noble family was introduced, and set the book aside. He wasn’t in the mood to start anything else, so he pulled himself up to pour himself another cup of tea, craving the extra warmth. Absentmindedly, he reached for the mint leaves.

 

 

 

“Ya, Kisoo get away from those!”

The young doctor had just left the Shin residence after checking up on Dongho—he was fine, a minor headache but nothing he was unprepared for—when he came across little Kisoo and his mother. As expected, the boy was playing in the snow under the watchful eye of his mother, but was inching far too close to a cluster of black birds nearby.

Curious, Youngjae thought, birds should have all flown south for the winter. He stopped to stare, catching the attention of one. The doctor was startled, but when the bird looked away to start cawing and flapping at its wings, he let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Kisoo come back here,” His mother went over and grabbed his hand, pulling the boy away. “Those things are bad omens,” she said, looking at the birds with disgust.

Kisoo looked as if he wanted to say something, but wilted under his mother’s harsh glare. He only waved sadly at the birds as he was tugged away, the black birds watching.

The doctor just shook his head and went back on his way. He wondered why so many of them were suddenly around, and if they were truly as terrible as people thought they were.

 

 

 

Yugyeom was already there when Youngjae arrived.

The doctor still hadn’t figured out how exactly the young man knew to be there when he was all those weeks ago. It wasn’t terribly important, but it made him curious. Lately they had chosen to tell each other; two days from then, tomorrow, the next week, anytime they thought best. That time, however, was not planned. While they usually chose to meet when the sun was highest, it was almost time for the sunset.

Youngjae wanted a little peace, away from the too quiet confines of his home and commotion from the town, and knew the clearing wasn’t too far. He stopped with his lamp in hand, and stared incredulously up at Yugyeom.

The young man was sat atop a tree branch of the tree farthest from him, his back against the trunk and one of his long legs hanging down while the other was bent towards his chest. His cloak was loosely draped over him, covering his shoulders and part of his chest, and the rest waving softly against the wind. Pushing up his glasses, Youngjae could make out a beige mass sitting on the young man’s lap.

It was Nora that noticed him first, blue eyes peeking over Yugyeom’s knee, and meowed. Yugyeom’s eyes flickered down to meet Youngjae’s, but only for an instant. Just as quickly, the young man went back to looking up at the sky.

“Hello,” the young man greeted, still not looking at him.

“Hello,” the doctor responded, taking slow steps forward until he was standing at the base of the tree Yugyeom and Nora were sitting in. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for the sunset,” he answered. His head lolled lazily to rest upon his shoulder, looking down at Youngjae. His rosy hair fell messily across his forehead, nearly obscuring his dark eyes from view. “And you?”

“Looking for some peace you could say,” he answered. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Disappointed?”

“No, of course not!” Youngjae exclaimed as he backed up, placing his lamp on the rock. The faint crunching of snow under his boots was the only sound between them as he walked back to look up at Yugyeom. “Just a little surprised, that’s all. It’s always a pleasure to see you.” From the dim lighting he could see the small smile on the young man’s lips, mirroring his own.

“Well aren’t you the charmer,” was the airy reply. He let Nora jump out of his lap, Youngjae stumbling back in surprise at the sudden movement and immediately held his arms out to catch the feline. She leapt off his arms and into the snow, making little footprints in the snow around his.

“She never likes to sit still,” Yugyeom said, though to Youngjae it sounded more like a whine. The young man moved to cross his arms over his chest, as if trying to keep in the warmth Nora left, but the doctor couldn’t help but laugh at how much he looked like a petulant child. And as per usual, Yugyeom shot him a dirty look.

“Maybe it’s the cold?”

Yugyeom just shook his head. “So you decided to come out, nearly evening and in the cold I might add, just for some peace and quiet?” He shifted on the branch so both his legs hung over one side while he leaned his shoulder against the trunk. He stared the doctor down with a tilt of the head, a brow raised in question.

“It sounds…a little ridiculous if you say it all aloud,” the doctor chuckled, hiding his nervous smile with the back of his hand. No one could tell if the red on his cheeks were from the cold, or just embarrassment. “But yes, I did! I told you once before, I liked stargazing.”

“You’re a bit too early, don’t you think? The sun has yet to set,” Yugyeom said. He swung his legs lightly back and forth, causing some of the snow on other branches to fall to the ground, and some nearly on Youngjae’s face.

“One would think you wouldn’t want me here,” the doctor teased back. He smiled up at the man, brushing off the snow that managed to land on his shoulders.

“Tell yourself what you want to tell yourself,” he graced the doctor with yet another of his vague answers, grinning down.

“Just admit you’re fond of me already Yugyeom,” Youngjae replied. The doctor ignored Yugyeom’s eyeroll and instead focused his stare on the tree before him. He figured he could reach the branch the young man was sitting on just fine; climbing trees was no problem. He’d done it a hundred times as a child, and if he happened to fall, well, Yugyeom helped him once.

With a confident nod, he set his boot against the trunk and proceeded to pull himself up.

“Wait, what are you doing?” The young man sat up straighter after seeing the doctor grab onto a few of the lower branches and climbing, or attempting to climb at the very least. “Stop, stop, stop,” he said hurriedly, keeping one hand on the trunk to steady himself while he leaned forward and held a hand out to Youngjae who had nearly slipped.

“It’s alright, I’ve done this before,” the doctor said between grunts, having utmost confidence in his ability to climb trees. Yugyeom looked worried. “Just not in a while.”

“Oh for Pete’s sake,” came the familiar exasperation the young doctor grew to be fond of, “Give me your hand, you dunce. I don’t even know why you’re trying to get up here.”

“I’m beginning to think you don’t know what "be nice” means,“ Youngjae replied with a smile and made a grab for Yugyeom’s hand. He of course didn’t want to fall or do something equally as clumsy, but there was something about Yugyeom voluntarily helping him rather than he ask that made the doctor feel victorious.

"I know plenty, thank you,” the young man grumbled, his hand clasped around Youngjae’s and ready to pull him up. But what would a story be without a cliche? The sandy feline both had forgotten about decided then to remind the two of her presence but leaping onto the doctor’s back, clawing up to his shoulders. The sudden weight startled Youngjae, his wide eyes meeting Yugyeom’s, and in that instant both of them knew disaster was headed their way.

The look in Yugyeom’s eyes screamed at him that it was all his fault and most likely threats of bodily harm, but the doctor was far too distracted to care. He lost his footing, as well as his grip on the other tree branch, but fortunately—unfortunately on Yugyeom’s part—he still had the young man’s hand in his grasp.

“Don’t you dare—” the young man began to say. It was a little too late for that. Caught by surprise Yugyeom didn’t have anything to hold onto, the hand on the trunk grasped at nothing as he was pulled down by Youngjae. The doctor hadn’t made it very far up; a fall from that distance would merely cause a bruise at most, but for the young man had been higher, there was room for more than just bruising.

Youngjae fell on his back with a pained grunt—thanking the heavens he didn’t wear his glasses that day—the coldness and wetness of snow seeping through his cloak, combined with the weight on his front made for a less than comfortable position. Said weight hadn’t moved for a few quiet moments, not even a sound, worrying the young doctor but he didn’t want to make an sudden movements in case the young man had an injury. However, a groan from his shoulder area shook him of his worries, a breath of relief coming out in white puffs at the sound.

“Are you alright?” he said when he felt Yugyeom nose against his neck, trying very hard to stifle his giggles. He was sure the young man wasn’t aware of what he was doing; he normally wasn’t very forward with any sort of physical contact.

“Am I alright he asks,” Yugyeom mumbled, beginning to shift on top of Youngjae. His upper body was covering most of the doctor’s, his own cloak splayed out over them and the snow. One of Youngjae’s legs were trapped between both of Yugyeom’s legs; the young man was careful not to knee him anywhere when he pushed himself up to his elbows, or elbow rather. “You should be asking yourself that,” he scowled down at him.

Youngjae didn’t respond immediately, distracted. He stared up at Yugyeom, into those dark eyes; irritated but not angry, tinged with some concern. If he looked close enough, he would see his own reflection and wondered if Yugyeom would ever look at him with…a more positive expression. His lips would curl up and smile wide, the one where his teeth showed and pink gums peeked out, and maybe if Youngjae tried hard enough a dust of red would fall over his cheeks. He remembered seeing that expression only once, when they talked about nights spent catching fireflies in the years past.

“Don’t tell me you have a head injury, are you there Choi Youngjae?”

He was dazed, or perhaps he did hit his head too hard. But the view was nothing he’d seen before, incredible in fact, and had no complaints.

“Youngjae?” More worry seeped into Yugyeom’s voice, something else that was uncommon. Like the way his brows furrowed, and the straight line his mouth became; the doctor wasn’t used to that side of him. A slow smile crept up on his face, basking in the attention.

“Seems like you’ve fallen for me,” he said, holding the smile for just a few moments before bursting into laughter.

“You are such—you know what? Nevermind,” Yugyeom cut himself off before he said anything too harsh to the still giggling doctor. “We both fell, if you hadn’t noticed,” and quietly added after, “And the damn cat disappears right after.”

“I’ve definitely noticed,” Youngjae managed between bouts of laughter, his cheeks red, but still grinning. “My backside may be a bit cold, but you’re doing a good job of keeping me warm!”

The terrible comment was well worth the embarrassment and a smack on the chest for Yugyeom’s sputtering and scandalized expression. The doctor’s laughter once again filled the air, even after Yugyeom got off him having realized their positions not long after. The young man’s knees were wet, as well as the underside of his right sleeve, and his palm had started to turn red from being in the snow, but nothing was quite as red as his face.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you lay in the snow any longer,” he scolded, unable to look at the smiling doctor in the eye and muttered something mosty likely foul under his breath.

“You’re probably right,” Youngjae replied, not moving to get up. Yugyeom looked expectedly at him. “Help me up?”

“You,” Yugyeom started to say, stomping back over to loom over him, “are absolutely the worst person I have ever met.” The young man said it so seriously Youngjae almost believed him if not for the hand thrust out toward him. He knew deep down the other man still liked him. “I missed the sunset for this,” he grumbled, pouting, after the doctor had been set upright again.

“Well, I got to see the stars at least,” Youngjae replied. He looked over at Yugyeom, and smiled. (Predictably, the man scoffed.)

 

 

 

“You don’t have to walk me back, you know,” Youngjae said to Yugyeom one night, while they were walking back to town. It was snowing lightly, adding on to the piles already on the forest ground. The doctor held a lantern between them with a gloved hand. Yugyeom held his own close to him, his fingers red because the poor man only had on fingerless gloves. Though, he did not seem bothered. “It isn’t that far of a walk at all.”

“Forgive me for “being nice,” Yugyeom answered, sticking his tongue out when Youngjae elbowed him, clearly sensing the sarcasm.

“I am a grown man,” Youngjae continued to reason.

“You are,” Yugyeom agreed. “Old, too.”

The doctor rolled his eyes. “You can’t be that much younger than I! I’m still quite young…”

“I didn’t take you for one to get worked up over such petty things,” Yugyeom laughed behind his hand, eyes glittering in the dim lighting.

“Spoken by the king of petty himself, I find that a little hard to believe.”

“I only speak the truth.”

“You’re very good at changing the subject, I’ve noticed.”

“So the good doctor does know things outside of medicine, well I’ll be!”

“With a tongue so sharp I’m surprised you haven’t cut up your mouth by now.”

“Well, good thing I have a doctor right here beside me, don’t I?” Yugyeom replied, knocking his shoulder into Youngjae’s in a playful manner. His light giggles eased his biting words, bringing a smile to Youngjae’s face despite being the subject of his mockery.

“If this is your definition of being nice, I wouldn’t want to know what you’re like when you’re mean,” Youngjae said, shaking his head. Yugyeom let out a short huff of laughter.

The doctor pulled his cloak tighter together, the winds were getting stronger and blowing snow off the trees. It was almost as if it were snowing again, and just as cold. He noticed the young man had moved closer to him, feeling his warmth press against his arm even through all the layers of cloth between them.

“You really don’t need to,” the doctor brought up again, voice soft. When Yugyeom didn’t answer, he thought it might have been drowned out by the howling winds, relentless with how hard they pull the two forward, and was about to let the wind carry that, too, away when he replied, equally as quiet.

“I have…no, I want to,” he answered. Youngjae noticed Yugyeom cut himself off before continuing with what he just said, and couldn’t help but think it a little strange. Regardless, the words made his heart swell in his chest, sending warmth throughout his body—figuratively, of course. “And you have a…history of accidents which leads me to worry just a bit.” And there was the familiar silver tongue.

“I assure you I am perfectly capable! Some time has passed since we fell down that tree and I haven’t injured myself at all,” Youngjae quickly defended. The last time was because of Nora, anyhow. It would have been perfectly fine if he wasn’t startled, and despite how foolish he was then, he looked back on it as a good memory.

“Yet, you mean,” the young man chided, bumping their shoulders again.

“Good thing I have you to take care of me, don’t I?” Youngjae parroted back, mirthful smile on his face. The young man gave him a good shove. “You can be my nurse, then. Nurse Yugyeom. How does that sound?”

The young man just rolled his eyes, causing the doctor to burst out in laughter.  

The pair made their way to the outskirts of town, seeing the lanterns in the distance. They had slowed their pace unknowingly, as if to drag out the time they had together. Neither of them could predict the future, they didn’t know how busy or not the doctor of the town would be, nor could they see if the weather would permit them to even step foot outside. Chance, it was what Yugyeom said it was when they came across each other by the creek, and it was only by chance they were able to meet. Youngjae still kept the four leaf clover with him despite that, he liked to think it was luck. Afterall, seeing the young man when he could was more than beneficial to him.

Yugyeom kicked up some snow, watching the powdery substance fall gently on his boot, coating it in white. His lamp had been turned off a little while back, the cold finally seeping into his fingers until it was unbearable. When he mentioned it, Youngjae wanted to offer his gloves, but bit his tongue. He hadn’t any reason not to, they both got along well, but hesitated instead and by then Yugyeom tucked his hand and lamp under his cloak. He wondered if that was what romance novels often called “missed opportunities.”

“Looks like it’s good night,” Yugyeom said, stopping right at the end of the dirt path that led into the woods, the same spot he always stopped. Never stepping even a centimeter into what was officially the town, strangely enough.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in,” Youngjae asked, the same question he always asked when Yugyeom walked him back. The doctor didn’t understand it, why he always refused to come with him, instead choosing to walk back in the cold. And he knew the young man was cold, he’d seen the shivers, not to mention the quiet complaints. He remembered the conversation they had, back when Yugyeom had given him a basket of vegetables. He said he didn’t want to be stuck walking back at night in the cold, yet had no problem walking the doctor back when their meetings extended past sunset. He had never questioned it, letting things flow naturally, but Youngjae was awful curious.

“It’s alright,” he replied as always. And with same gentle smile adorning his lips; though it did little to deter the doctor. “We have the same conversation every time Youngjae, it really is fine.”

He was about to respond with an objection and insist, when he was cut off by a sneeze. The doctor looked at Yugyeom in surprise, quickly closing his mouth because of the wind. The young man only sniffled and brought a finger to rub at his nose, though the expression on his face looked rather confused.

“Well, that solves that,” Youngjae said a tad triumphantly. Yugyeom looked at him curiously, his hand still covering his face.

“You,” he said, stepping closer to take a hold of the other man’s wrist, “are coming with me.” Youngjae finished with another smile, and turned to walk into town with Yugyeom in tow.

“I’m sorry?” The young man was caught by surprise, passing by several houses before trying to pull his arm free from the doctor’s grasp. “What are you doing?!” He whispered, conscious of how late it was. The more he tugged, the tighter Youngjae’s grip got. The doctor hadn’t stopped moving, pulling on the taller man just hard enough to get him to come along even with the resistance. And some time during their little stroll Youngjae slipped his hand into Yugyeom’s, feeling just how cold it was. Yugyeom hadn’t relented, so he gave an experimental squeeze.

“You sneezed,” he answered. “As a doctor, I really can’t let you stay out in the cold, you could become very ill!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“It’s a good thing you had a doctor with you, hm?” Youngjae was sure if it weren’t for the sleeping townsfolk, Yugyeom would’ve whined and stomped his foot. (It had happened a few times before, mostly when Youngjae made fun of him a little.)

“Just,” the young man looked for words to say, not knowing what exactly to say as he stumbled behind the doctor, “Just hurry up then! Like you said, it’s cold!” Youngjae laughed quietly, nodding in agreement.

“Come along then, it’s not far.” He still held Yugyeom’s hand, his grasp loosened so if the other man wanted to pull away he could. Youngjae smiled to himself when he didn’t, and gently pulled Yugyeom along. There was another quiet sneeze from behind him, and when Youngjae turned around Yugyeom was looking elsewhere.

“Why am I going along with this,” the young man grumbled, keeping his head down. Youngjae shook his head and pulled a little harder when they neared his home. When they reached the door, he set his lamp down on the snow covered ground and reached for the keys in his satchel. Keeping them in the same pocket with nothing else for years made it easy to grab them without needing any light. Neither of them mentioned that he could have just as easily let go of Yugyeom’s hand.

Youngjae’s home was modest, two floors, not too large nor too small for just one person. The fireplace held a dying flame, from when he had lit it hours before, but still kept his home warmer than outside. The doctor let go of Yugyeom’s hand to pick the lamp up, and to lock the door behind the both of them. Toeing his boots off by the door, he walked inside to place the now turned off lamp on the side table. That left the fireplace the only source of light, it wasn’t much but enough for Youngjae to see. The young man was cautious, not sure of what to do since Youngjae left him by the door. He followed suit in taking off his boots, tucking them neatly against the wall and stepping further in the room.

As the doctor busied himself with setting the kettle on and lighting a few candles here and there, Yugyeom undid the clasp of his cloak and slid it off, draping it over his arm as he made his way to the fireplace. He knelt down on the rug and took of his gloves so he could warm his hands by the fire. At some point the room became brighter from the various different candles, illuminating the main area, as well as the dining area. The doctor had joined him, after stealing his cloak away to drape over a chair by the door. Youngjae’s cloak was put away as well, and somewhere along the way put on a pair of slippers.

He placed a pair next to Yugyeom, grinning when the young man looked at him in surprise. Youngjae continued to busy himself with adding firewood to the flames, fanning at it just a bit to make the flame larger. Yugyeom just stared ahead, feeling himself warm up despite the small sniffles that escaped him.

Youngjae left the man to sit by the fire to check on the kettle, pulling two cups from the cupboard to set on the table. It was oolong tea, something he always found was good on cold days. While it was still boiling, he went off to find the extra blankets and a pillow he knew he stored in his house somewhere. He had bought the extra bedding on a whim, preferring to have options, but never used them much. Having a guest over was as good as a reason as any, especially since he was sneezing. The doctor realize they hadn’t said a word to each other since they arrived, and hoped Yugyeom wasn’t feeling awkward about it all; Youngjae really did enjoy his company especially since he’d been trying to get the young man to stop by for a while.

“Are you warmer now?” he said over the pile of blankets in his arms. The glow of the fire painted everything nearby in a light orange, and he couldn’t help but notice how bright Yugyeom’s hair looked under it. And he put on the slippers, the doctor noted with a grin.

“Ah, yes thank you,” Yugyeom replied, turning to look up at him. “Even though you did drag me all the way here.”

“Now, now, you know I couldn’t let you leave knowing you could get sick,” Youngjae told him, letting the pillow drop to the floor. With that out of the way, he unfolded the pale blue blanket and wrapped it over Yugyeom’s shoulders, ignoring the way the young man tensed up almost immediately. He sighed in relief when his shoulders dropped and relaxed, pulling the blanket closer to him. “There,” he said, “That should be better.”

He couldn’t tell if the red on Yugyeom’s cheeks were from the fire, or something else. (That something else being him, he hoped.)

“What about you?” the young man asked, turning his head to look at him as he made his way back over to the boiling kettle.

“Tea is calling,” Youngjae laughed, and immediately after the kettle began to whistle. “I hope you don’t mind oolong.”

“It’s fine!” Yugyeom called out, shifting in his spot on the floor so his legs were out in front of him. Youngjae heard another sneeze, and was about to ask if he needed anything when Yugyeom suddenly appeared beside him, turning the faucet on to wash his hands. The blue blanket he’d left him with hanging loosely around the young man’s shoulders like a cape. Wordlessly, he passed a handkerchief over to him, receiving a quiet thanks in response.

Yugyeom peeked over his shoulder to see the status of their tea, but kept a respectable distance away from Youngjae on the account that he was still sniffling. The doctor had a feeling it was just a passing thing, he had gotten Yugyeom out of the cold and was going to make sure he would stay warm, so he had no worries. Speaking of which, Youngjae turned Yugyeom around by the shoulders and started pushing him back to the fireplace.

“What are you doing?” Yugyeom asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. He wasn’t resisting, walking whatever which way Youngjae was leading him.

“You should stay by the fire,” the doctor said, forcing the man to sit down again on the rug. “Stay.”

“I don’t have hypothermia, it was just a sneeze,” Yugyeom said, rolling his eyes. He sat down anyway.

“Listen to the doctor,” he replied, going back to actually pour the tea into the cups. A snort came from behind him, and Youngjae couldn’t help but roll his eyes; Yugyeom was too much like a child at times. The doctor walked back over with the two steaming hot cups in his hands, offering one to Yugyeom before he sat down beside the other man. He pulled the blanket he left on the armchair to him, his cup safely between his crossed legs, and wrapped it around himself.

They sat in silence, watching the fire burn and taking slow sips of their tea. Snow started to fall, lightly, melting as soon as they hit the window. But the two paid it no mind, they were indoors and warm. Yugyeom had moved to loosely hug his knees to his chest, his cheek lay against his shoulder, and empty cup placed beside him. He was beginning to doze off if the way he was lightly swaying was anything to go by. Youngjae smiled into his cup, finishing the last few sips before setting it down. The quiet was comfortable, no sound save for the crackle of the fire and the faint whistles of the wind. The candles he lit earlier were still going, the wax having melted a considerable amount already—Youngjae hadn’t realized that much time had passed.

Looking over at Yugyeom, he couldn’t help but laugh quietly at how his head was bobbing lightly, not quite asleep but not quite awake, either. He was going to put both their cups in the sink and wash them tomorrow morning, and move the pillow closer so the young man could sleep properly, when a quiet murmur caught his attention. It was certainly not him that said anything, but it surprised him to know Yugyeom hadn’t succumb to slumber just yet. He relaxed back in his seat, inching closer to the other man in case he spoke again.

For once, Yugyeom’s hair was out of his eyes, all swept to the side from the angle his head was at, giving Youngjae an unobstructed view of his face. Up close, Youngjae could see the young man’s eyelashes fanned over his cheeks, casting dark shadows upon them. Following his straight nose to his slightly parted lips, the doctor had trouble focusing on everything and anything; all except for the young man beside him. He looked so peaceful, so Youngjae assumed he had finally gone to sleep. The doctor reached over to brush away a few stray strands that fell rebelliously over Yugyeom’s closed eyes, and marvelled at how soft it was. The hair he thought resembled dried rose petals were as soft as newly bloomed roses themselves, Youngjae couldn’t help but gently run his fingers through the young man’s hair once more.

In his daze, he almost fell backwards when Yugyeom let out a small groan and moved, his legs sliding out from their bent position. Youngjae didn’t know what to do as he watched the man’s arms fall limp into his lap, and next thing he knew he had a hand on Yugyeom’s shoulder, steadying him against his own chest while Yugyeom’s head found a place to rest on his shoulder. The doctor hoped Yugyeom was truly asleep, and unable to hear the rapid beating of his heart. How he had gone from merely holding his hand only hours before to being Yugyeom’s personal pillow he wasn’t quite sure, but he knew for a fact the warm feeling in his chest wasn’t from the fire.

He contemplated what he should do in such a situation, perhaps he could stay like that for a while and eventually fall asleep, or perhaps he should right the young man so he was resting properly on an actual pillow than his shoulder. Youngjae opted for the latter, concern for any discomfort Yugyeom may wake up with a higher priority.

Murmuring a quiet apology into the man’s hair, he slipped the blanket from his shoulders, so he wouldn’t lay on it. Youngjae wrapped an arm around Yugyeom’s shoulder, securely propping him against his chest while his other hand rested against Yugyeom’s chest; he slowly leaned both of them backwards until they lay on the rug and Yugyeom rested on Youngjae’s arm rather than shoulder. For just a moment, Youngjae stared at the sleeping man, at the light dancing across his features, at the steady rise and drop of his chest, just at Yugyeom.

He reached for the forgotten pillow with his unoccupied hand, and slowly lifted himself up to remove his arm and slip the pillow under Yugyeom’s head. That should’ve been more comfortable, he thought with a smile, brushing the man’s bangs from his eyes. Yugyeom just crinkled his nose and shifted to his side, curling up just a bit. Running his fingers through the dark strands one more time, he took the blanket and lay it over the other man, making sure it covered him completely.

Satisfied with Yugyeom’s sleeping conditions, Youngjae tidied both of their cups and set them in the sink. Preparing himself for bed, he noted Yugyeom smelled faintly of chocolate and mint.

 

Youngjae woke up the next morning feeling rather uncomfortable. He groaned in pain when he lifted his head, his neck was awful sore. It was the price he paid for choosing to sleep in his armchair rather than in his bed upstairs. It wasn’t as if it were a rare occurrence, the doctor had fallen asleep in his chair more times than he could remember, for a number of different reasons. But as he massaged his neck and unfolded his legs from beneath him to stretch, the doctor took a quick glance of his surroundings and more importantly at the still asleep lump on his floor.

The pillow wedged between the chair and the doctor’s head fell to the ground when he sat up; startled, he sat completely still lest the noise disturbed Yugyeom. When there was no movement Youngjae let out a quiet sigh of relief, quietly shuffling toward the restroom to wash up. He would prepare eggs with rice and some fruit for breakfast afterward, remembering neither of them had dinner the night before save for a cup of tea. It wasn’t the grandest of morning meals, not even a soup to go with it, but like it was said before, Youngjae was not one to cook—what was quick and easy to make was good enough for him.

He never claimed to Yugyeom he made amazing dishes, just that he was capable, after all.

When he returned to check up on the young man after he washed his face and changed his clothes for the day, he was surprised to see the man was still curled up on the floor, his face barely peeking out from under the covers. Instead of leaving him be, Youngjae reasoned he should wake the man up for the sun was up and a new day was upon them, and not because he himself was awake. The doctor knelt down beside the man, watching as he unconsciously tried to bury himself further under the blanket.

“Wake up,” he said, lightly shaking his shoulder. “It’s time to wake up!”

No response. Youngjae would have never guessed he was difficult to wake up in the mornings, but there were still many things he didn’t know about the man.

“Yugyeeeoom,” he tried again, shaking a little harder, “It’s morning! Rise and shine!”

Yugyeom only groaned and tried to swat the offending hand that was shaking him away. “G’way…Jae…sleepy,” were the only words Youngjae managed to hear in the midst of all Yugyeom’s mumbling. “Jae” was a curious nickname, he thought, but he wouldn’t deny the smile that crept up on his face as soon as he heard it.

“Come on now, don’t be so childish,” Youngjae cooed, both his hands resting on Yugyeom’s side, lightly jostling him from the world of sleep.

“Can’t children sleep?” Yugyeom moaned, moving so his back now faced Youngjae. The young man was adamant about not getting up, and Youngjae couldn’t help but fondly roll his eyes at the sheer childishness of it all.

“I’m making breakfast now, you have to get up if you want some,” he tried appealing to the man’s stomach instead, since being a general disturbance wasn’t working. Yugyeom only tried to elbow his hands away.

“Yugyeom,” Youngjae whispered into his ear, barely stifling his laughter when the man shuddered. “Wake up!” he said a little more loudly, and hoped it would do the trick.

A pitiful whine came from the mass under the blankets before Youngjae saw any movement. Slowly the body rose, the blanket slipping down to pool at Yugyeom’s waist as the man rubbed his eyes. The doctor watched as the man stretched his arms over his head and ruffled his hair, making it even messier, before blinking the last few bits of sleep away. He watched as he slowly took in his surroundings, his eyes widening almost comically as he took in the furniture in Youngjae’s home and finally Youngjae himself.

The doctor let his laughter out as soon as Yugyeom jumped in his seat in surprise when their eyes met; the man unconsciously pushing himself backward and holding the blue blanket to his chest as if he’d seen a ghost. With his wild hair and wide eyes, Youngjae would’ve assumed that was what happened if he hadn’t been watching the entire time.

“Good morning,” he said cheerily, waving at the bewildered man.

Yugyeom only stared at him, blinking a few times. A moment passed before a look of realization passed through the young man’s face, Youngjae only smiling and shaking his head, and he relaxed his hold on the blanket. “I’m in your house,” he stated.

“That you are,” Youngjae replied, and finally rose to his feet again. “And I’m making breakfast, it’d be best if you washed up now!”

“Yes, of course,” Yugyeom said hurriedly, standing up as well. His face was slowly turning red and he avoided looking directly at Youngjae as he asked where the bathroom was. It was strange, he acted as if he were embarrassed by something, but Youngjae couldn’t see any reason for him to be. The doctor shook his head and returned to his task of breakfast while Yugyeom freshened up. It must have just been a trick of light.

 

Yugyeom hadn’t stayed long after, indulging Youngjae by staying for a meal before rushing off. To check on Nora, he claimed before tugging on the hood of his cloak and quickly walking off into the direction of the forest. Youngjae stood at the door, arms wrapped around himself, as he watched the young man dart into the shadows walking behind buildings rather than follow the main path. The promises of next time were pushed to the back of his mind when a particularly strong gust of wind blew by, causing him to shiver and retreat back into his home. Next time, he thought, look at the empty plates and bowls that were still sitting on the table. When he closed his eyes, he could imagine Yugyeom still sitting there, making faces at him over a bowl of rice.

 

 

 

Yugyeom had his arms folded over his chest with an expression Youngjae could only describe as “you must be out of your mind.” It was something the doctor still didn’t understand about him, Yugyeom clearly didn’t like the cold as he complained about it on occasion before, yet he was fine with making the trip with him to town and back once more to his own home.

It was snowing again, what started off light in the afternoon soon turned heavy until nearly everything was covered in a layer of white by evening. The two had met again, before the snow had gotten too bad, just briefly after Youngjae finished meeting with a family and their bedridden daughter. The doctor knew their meeting place to be somewhat close to town, but wondered if Yugyeom lived near or far—it being especially important to know in the times of cold. The young man, however, assured him he didn’t have to worry every time Youngjae voiced his concerns.

When the doctor finally reached the clearing, Yugyeom was already present, squatting on the ground and drawing in the snow with a stick. His hood, as well as the back of his cloak was covered in a thin layer of snow, evidence he’d been there for some time before Youngjae. They talked some while Yugyeom lead them to the frozen creek and teased the doctor until he gathered his courage to take a step on the ice. It ended with a light-hearted fight in the snow that had them ducking behind trees and bushes, Yugyeom fine with handling snow with gloves that actually covered his fingers, and with various wet spots on their clothing. (They were careful not to aim for the face.)

Naturally when they both decided it was time to go their separate ways and perhaps meet once again when the weather turned warmer, Father Winter decided it to snow harder. Which led to Youngjae inviting Yugyeom into his home once again—out of courtesy; the doctor very much wanted to pull him along but did not think it would go over quite well.

“You were going to walk with me back regardless,” he stated, confident that he was right, “And it’s clear the snow is only going to get worse so it’s only logical for you to stay a bit.”

“Are you implying I can’t take care of myself?” Yugyeom narrowed his eyes. With the cold turning his nose and cheeks red, the young man only managed to look as angry as a wet cat.

“No, no of course not! I just worry about you, Yugyeom.” The sincerity in the doctor’s voice eased the tension in Yugyeom’s body, his shoulders relaxing and his expression softening as he stared at Youngjae. He dropped his gaze just as quickly, looking away and biting his lip, and moved to more hunch over himself as he were embarrassed.

“Yugyeom?” Youngjae took a step forward so that he was nearly toe-to-toe with the taller man, and put a hand on his elbow in a reassuring kind of gesture.

“I..don’t belong there,” the young man mumbled, still not looking up. His eyes were downcast, teeth worrying his bottom lip that Youngjae wanted to run his finger over it and stop Yugyeom from abusing it any further. He had the feeling the young man wasn’t telling him something with that statement, but Youngjae pushed it aside in favor of dealing with what he had said.

“Is that all?” the doctor asked, tilting his head to try and catch Yugyeom’s eyes. He smiled when he continued to be stubborn. “It’ll be alright, you’ll just be with me again. And it’s only for a night, I don’t want you to get sick because of me, okay? You’re not the only one allowed to worry.”

The young man didn’t seem convinced, lip biting turned to pouting, but tentatively turned his head to look at Youngjae. “I could very well just go back to my own home,” he huffed.

“But you won’t,” Youngjae let out a laugh, stepping back when a red-faced Yugyeom swat at his arm. He wasn’t sure what the young man’s insecurity was, nor how deep it really ran, but was pleased he wasn’t upset anymore. Taking Yugyeom’s hand in his, Youngjae tugged him over to stand beside him as they made their way back to town. “Come on, before it gets so heavy we can’t see,” the doctor said. Yugyeom only sighed and nodded, gripping Youngjae’s hand just a little tighter.

 

Nearing his home, Youngjae could tell Yugyeom was more relieved with no one roaming around—it was snowing rather hard, he would be surprised if people actually were out—freely laughing when Youngjae’s face was assaulted by snow and running in step with him to his doorstep.

They nearly toppled over each other as they pushed themselves through the door, closing it behind them quickly to keep the wind and snow out. The two of them stood by the door, catching their breaths and allowing the warmth to slowly seep back into their bones. The snow that lingered on their clothes and hair began to melt, tiny drops of water falling to the ground. Yugyeom shook his head side to side, getting rid of the water in his hair but also sending the droplets flying every which way, one that included Youngjae’s face.

The doctor relented, leaning his head back and laughing all the same, and lightly slapped the young man’s shoulder to try to get him and stop. Eventually Yugyeom stopped and joined him in laughter, his eyes full of mirth as they met Youngjae’s.

“We should get out of these wet clothes,” he said, spreading his arms out for a better view of the state of his attire. Yugyeom had already let his cloak drop to the floor and began to unwind his scarf, the color in his face slowly returning from being in a warm area. “I should have something for you,” he said, also slowly shedding his outerwear. The doctor looked up when he didn’t receive an answer, only to be met with a surprised expression that quickly turned into glee when Yugyeom started to laugh.

“What?” the doctor asked, blinking in surprise at the sudden outburst. He had to wait a few moments for the young man to calm down, shaking his head at how long it took for all the giggles to come out.

“Here,” Yugyeom said, a smile on his face as he stepped closer into Youngjae’s personal space. The doctor felt his glasses being lifted, leaving him feeling a tad colder on his face without them. “You’ve got water all over them, I’m surprised you could still see with those on,” he continued, showing Youngjae the result of walking through a snowstorm had on his glasses.

“This is what sends you into a fit of giggles?” the doctor snorted, and took the glasses back from a still grinning Yugyeom. Nonetheless, he started wiping them with a dry part of his shirt. They weren’t terribly important, so after a quick wipe he left them on the table to deal with some other time. He wanted to change first. Taking the lamp with him, he lit a few candles around the living area before heading to his bedroom.

“You amuse me,” the young man replied, slipping out of his boots and stuffing his socks in them before he stepped further into Youngjae’s home.

“I just think you’re easy to amuse,” Youngjae shouted from the top of the stairs. He heard some shuffling downstairs and assumed the young man was just looking around, afterall he couldn’t just sit down with wet trousers. His sleepwear was relatively loose, so it should fit Yugyeom, but the bottoms could end up cutting off a little high than if Youngjae were wearing it. All his sets were of the same material and color, comfort coming before aesthetic in his mind and hoped the other man felt the same. With a quick glance over his room, making sure he left no mess of clothes or papers around, he took the clothes and brought them downstairs.

He found Yugyeom standing by the window, a hand on the glass as he watched the snow fall. Shaking his head, he made his way towards the taller man, “I trust you remember where the washroom is,” he said as Yugyeom turned around to face him.

“I hope these will do, though because you are taller than I, I left you a pair of socks as well.”

Yugyeom took the clothes offered to him, looking at it to Youngjae, and down at his attire. “Shouldn’t you take care of yourself, first? It is your home, you should take the—”

“Nonsense,” Youngjae cut him off, “You’re my guest! Besides, my clothes aren’t all that wet. Nothing standing by the fire can’t fix.” Yugyeom gave him a pointed look, like he wasn’t convinced.

“I need to start on supper?” the doctor offered with a shy laugh and a shrug. The young man just sighed, accepting that Youngjae wasn’t going to change his mind. He headed toward the washroom, shaking his head along the way.

Youngjae just laughed, filling the silence in his house, and waved Yugyeom off when he turned around to shoot him a dirty look. When he heard the door of the washroom close, the doctor took a deep breath, and with a quick nod of his head, he went to take out the drying rack and box of matches. He might as well start drying his socks and waistcoat.

 

Youngjae was in the midst of cutting green peppers for stew when Yugyeom came out from the washroom. The ends of his hair were dripping, colored a darker red than the rest, creating little spots on the shirt Youngjae loaned him. He wore the clothes well, the doctor thought, giving him a quick glance before going back to the carrots; he didn’t want to accidentally slice off a finger while gawking at the man. As expected the pants barely reached Yugyeom’s ankles, but the socks covered what they couldn’t. He looked awfully nice for someone in a plain ensemble—it was a little unfair, considering they were his clothes and he didn’t think they made him any more attractive.

“What are you making?” The young man peered over his shoulder before moving to the stove and lifting the cover of the pot, taking a curious sniff.

“Just some stew,” he replied, sliding the sliced peppers off the cutting board into a bowl. “Nothing exciting here to see. Go and…sit.”

“..Sit,” Yugyeom repeated slowly. “If that means “Oh Yugyeom, you take over while I clean myself up” then by all means of course.” The doctor raised both his eyebrows in surprise, and with the momentary distraction, the young man slide the knife out of his hands and nudged him aside with his hip.

“Go on,” he said. Youngjae would have listened either way, but Yugyeom with a knife was terrifying, especially when he was waving it around with such ease. When he voiced his concern about the possibility of getting…nicked, Yugyeom only laughed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

Temptations of a long hot bath were swept away when the familiar aroma of kimchi stew wafted into the room. A hot meal trumped all in his mental list of priorities, his mouth watering already at the thought of sitting down at his table and simply eating. Not having have made it entirely himself was an added bonus, as well as his company, the doctor reminded himself quickly of his guest. If anything, at least he knew Yugyeom was capable in the kitchen. (And didn’t burn anything down.)

He left the hand towel around his neck, lightly dabbing at his face while he made his way to the dining area where Yugyeom had already set out two bowls of rice, along with the chopsticks and spoons.

“And so he returns,” Yugyeom said from the stove. He was stirring the pot with one hand while the other reached for the jar of red pepper paste Youngjae kept on a nearby shelf. “I was beginning to think you’d drowned yourself,” he continued with a smirk.

“How morbid,” Youngjae replied offhandedly, just a tad distracted by what a domestic picture they painted. “I wouldn’t just leave you here like that, especially when I was the one that brought you here anyway!”

The young man hummed his reply, his attention back on the stew. The doctor took a seat at the table and watched, chin in hand. He watched as Yugyeom took a small sip from the wooden spoon, a pink tongue coming out to lick his lips, and give himself a small nod. If it were someone else, the doctor didn’t think he would find it as endearing as the young man in his kitchen turning off the flames and bringing the pot to the table.

“What?” Yugyeom asked. Youngjae had a strange look upon his face, like he was dazed, grinning at seemingly nothing. Frankly, it was quite strange. The young man took a seat across where the doctor sat, and gave Youngjae a few moments before sighing and snapping his fingers in the man’s face.

“I’m sorry?” Youngjae jumped in his seat, straightening up and letting his arm fall on the table. He blinked at Yugyeom, or at where he once stood, and then at where he was. “Oh,” was all he managed.

“Oh,” Yugyeom repeated. “Now I’m sure you injured yourself somehow in the tub,” he said with a shake of the head. Youngjae was reminded of a nagging mother when Yugyeom clicked his tongue.

“Apologies, I didn’t know you were so invested in my well-being,” Youngjae said, taking a large spoonful of stew to pour over his rice. If he didn’t start eating, he was sure he was going to drool all over himself. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Only that I think it’s best you get a walking cane now, old man,” Yugyeom teased. Youngjae only huffed and stuffed a large spoonful of rice in his mouth, his cheeks bulging as he chewed. From across the table the young man looked on in a mix of amusement and like he expected something like that to happen. “Thank you for the meal,” the young man said as he clapped his hands together before picking up the chopsticks to stab at a cube of beef. Youngjae made a noise of agreement, too occupied with drinking the broth to notice Yugyeom shaking his head.

 

When it came to the chore of doing the dishes, Youngjae never liked it. As a child, he would run and hide after a meal until his mother found him and led him to the sink with all the resistance a little boy was capable of. As an adult, he avoided using too much tableware at once—the less there was to clean the better—and left them to “soak” an hour, or at times a day, longer than necessary. Yugyeom, on the other hand, wordlessly collected their empty bowls and utensils, and began washing without a fuss. Or a sarcastic comment.

“You don’t have to,” Youngjae said, coming up to the young man’s side.

“You did most of the work, it’s only fair,” Yugyeom replied. He elbowed Youngjae out of the way, his hands busy with scrubbing a bowl clean. “Besides, washing the dishes isn’t difficult.” The doctor made a face and backed away.

“I can’t imagine anyone liking to do that,” he said. “I don’t enjoy my hands turning into prunes.” Even from his spot in front of the fireplace he heard Yugyeom sigh.

“Do you need your ears checked? No one said anything about enjoying it,” he was interrupted by his own yelp when water splashed up at up, and paused to try and wipe the liquid off his cheek with his shoulder. “Not all of us are children when it comes to household chores.”

“And here I thought you were finally being nice to me,” Youngjae sighed dramatically, a hand over his forehead as he leaned over the armrest. He risked a small glance at the man still by the sink, and only deflated when he didn’t receive any sort of reaction.

“I’m always nice to you,” Yugyeom said.

“I’ll buy a dictionary for you next time I’m out.”

 

One moment they were in the kitchen, the next had them lounging by the fireplace and bickering about the weather and the meaning of life, to finally when Youngjae deemed it time for bed. He ushered the young man upstairs, reaffirming that no, he was not going to have Yugyeom sleep on the floor again. Youngjae would admit he felt somewhat bad about it, but what was he to do when Yugyeom was peacefully asleep? Certainly not wake him; he would just make up for it by giving him the bed.

“Welcome to my bedroom,” Youngjae said with a wide wave of his arm. His room did not have much; a desk overlooked by a large window, a small bookcase adjacent to the door, a dresser and closet beside that, and a fairly large bed off to the side by the wall. His bookcase was full of novels he had picked up over the years, a few children’s stories here and there, as well as a box where he kept all his letters from his family. There wasn’t much on his desk, save for his bag with the contents spilling out like it was thrown on there haphazardly—which wouldn’t be far from the truth—and a few pages of notes. A small potted plant sat on the windowsill. Overall, it was rather…empty, to say the least.

“There isn’t much,” he said, standing off to the side while Yugyeom looked around. “I spend most of my time in the study, actually. It’s a lot more cluttered there.” His study was down the hall, the only other room on the second floor, with a direct view of the main path of town. It was filled with many more books; all of his old journals; littered with pencils and ink; bottles and jars of roots, plants, powders, oils; miscellaneous blankets and pillows strewn about; and numerous empty cups. Surprisingly, the two rooms were of the same size.

Yugyeom hummed, skimming his finger along the spines of the books on his shelf in mild interest before his eyes found something glittering from Youngjae’s desk. Something small peeking out from his bag, reflecting the light of the lamp. The doctor watched Yugyeom cross the room and reach for his bag, his long fingers rolling out a small, familiar, little jar. The young man looked up to catch Youngjae’s eyes silently asking for permission.

A quick nod had Yugyeom picking up the jar, holding it up and turning it around in his hand. “What is it?”  he asked.

“A bracelet my brother made for me when I was a child,” Youngjae replied. He walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge, bouncing a little as he did. “It doesn’t fit anymore, clearly, but I like to keep it around.” The little bell chimed as Yugyeom lightly shook it, amused. “It reminds me of home.”

“Sentimental,” he said. Youngjae laughed.

“Perhaps, but it does cheer me up when I’m down. My brother made it for just that reason, so I do treasure it immensely.” He noticed Yugyeom reach up to grab at something but stop halfway with his arm hanging in the air before he let it drop. Youngjae wondered what he was reaching for, and wanted to ask if he had something similar to his bracelet, but decided against it. For another time, then.

“Well, I’m sure you don’t want to listen to me talk about my family, so perhaps we should turn in for the night,” the doctor suggested. Yugyeom gently set the jar down, an emotion flitting through his eyes Youngjae couldn’t catch, and straightened up. There was Youngjae, and there was the bed. He stared at the doctor who only grinned and pat the spot beside him.

“You can’t be serious,” Yugyeom said, red beginning to rise to his cheeks. Youngjae cocked his head to the side, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Isn’t…isn’t it a little inappropriate to get in bed with an older man?” the young man stuttered, his words going quieter as he continued. By then his face had bloomed a cherry red, the tips of ears burning as wrung the hem of his borrowed shirt. Perhaps it was a good thing Yugyeom kept his eyes on the floor, so that he couldn’t see how Youngjae’s face burned, his mouth dumbly hung open. There was a stunned silence, where Yugyeom looked everywhere but at Youngjae. And Youngjae could only stare at Yugyeom.

“Don’t just stare!” the young man huffed, a small pout on his lips. His words didn’t have much effect, not when he couldn’t look up from his feet.

“I,” Youngjae blinked, and repeated himself a few times before his mind began forming coherent thoughts again. “I’m sorry?” If his voice cracked at the end, if it were an octave higher, neither of them mentioned it.

“I’m only twenty!” Yugyeom suddenly blurt out. His cheeks turned impossibly red, as red as the fire that still burned on in the lamp. His hands went to immediately cover his face as he let out a whine, clearly embarrassed.

“Twenty is an adult!” Youngjae wailed, He didn’t know why he was embarrassed, he did nothing wrong; the doctor simply didn’t know what to say, so he too held his hands over his face and fell over on the bed. “My sister was wed at twenty!”

“That has nothing to do with me!” Yugyeom stomped his foot. The doctor freed one hand to gesture for Yugyeom to lower his voice. The young man huffed.

“Alright.” Youngjae started to speak again after a few moments, sat up again and expression schooled into something more calm. “Alright, well. It’s…not…I can sleep on the floor if it’s too unsettling to share.” Yugyeom looked troubled, and his hands went down to fiddle with the hem of his shirt—Youngjae was sure it was going to be very wrinkled when his stay was over.

“…No,” he said. “I can’t take your bed from you, that would be rude of me.” Stood in the middle of Youngjae’s bedroom, wearing his clothes, having eaten with him and stayed in his home; Yugyeom didn’t want to impose after all of that. But was it so bad for the two of them to share, the bed was big enough and it was late. Outside the storm raged on, nothing but a flurry of gray and white outside the window.

“I..apologize for the outburst,” he quietly mumbled, the pink returning to his cheeks. Yugyeom looked up with a shy, nervous kind of smile Youngjae had never seen on his face before, and slowly made his way over to where the doctor sat. “I’ve never shared a bed with anyone before, forgive me if I am…” he trailed off.

“No, it’s fine, I just..wasn’t expecting it, that’s all,” Youngjae smiled, moving over so Yugyeom could take a seat beside him. The sudden warmth at his side was welcome, just perfect enough to lull him to sleep, but he did not succumb to the urge. “I don’t just invite people into my bed—”

He paused when Yugyeom gave him a look. “N-not as if I’m trying to proposition you!” The doctor quickly clarified, shoving Yugyeom’s shoulder when he laughed. Clearing his throat, he continued, “But it isn’t as if I’ve never shared a bed before. It happens when you have siblings and it gets cold in winters. It’s warmer that way.”

Once again silence fell upon them, less awkward than before, more comfortable while they sat together listening to the wind howl and each other’s steady breathing. Yugyeom was the first to move, he moved backwards and crawled across the bed to where it met the bed. He didn’t dare lay down, not yet, instead he sat against the wall and pulled a pillow to his chest.

“Well, I guess you get that side of the bed then,” Youngjae said, eyes smiling. The young man rolled his eyes, his lips curving upward while he tried to kick the doctor off. “You better not do that in your sleep or I will make you take the floor again,” he teased—only half serious, he valued not getting hurt, but also staying in Yugyeom’s good graces—swatting the young man’s foot away and pulling the covers down.

“And,” he added, “I’m not that much older than you!”

 

Yugyeom stared at the wall, a hand curled under his cheek while the other was fisted in the blanket, holding it close to his chest. He couldn’t sleep, and right behind him neither could Youngjae. He stared at the patch of dim light on the floor from the window, debating with himself whether or not he wanted to get up and draw the curtains. He was tired, his eyelids were heavy, and didn’t want to be awake any longer.

“Are you awake?” Yugyeom whispered. Youngjae shifted around until he faced Yugyeom’s back, humming in confirmation. He resisted the urge to move closer, to where it was warmer, to Yugyeom, and just run his fingers down his back or if he dared, wrap his arms around the young man’s middle. But he didn’t, instead he pulled the blankets up higher over his shoulder and waited for a response.

“Why?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I asked first.”

“Are you whining?” the doctor let out a breathy chuckle, letting his eyes close. A sniffle came from the man, and the blanket was pulled some away from him. Youngjae smiled to himself and moved a little closer.

“No reason,” Yugyeom whispered, his voice heavy. “Just wondering.”

Youngjae waited a moment before speaking again, “Is this okay?” When Yugyeom didn’t respond he thought the young man had fallen asleep, and prepared himself to do the same, closing his eyes.

“It’s fine,” he replied, so quietly the doctor thought he dreamed it. “Much nicer than the floor, if you wanted to know.”

“Good to know,” Youngjae mumbled back. His words were slurred, half his face pressed hard into the pillow. Sleep was beginning to claim him, the sandman whisking him away to the land of dream. But before he could, he suddenly thought, “Is Nora alright by herself?”

“Should I be concerned your last thoughts before you go to sleep is a cat?” Yugyeom’s tone was light, and Youngjae felt Yugyeom shake with laughter more than he saw it.

“Would you rather it be thoughts of you?” That time Yugyeom laughed, quiet over the sound of the wind.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it were,” he replied cheekily. The doctor hummed in response. “She’s fine. Has everything she needs.”

“Someone’s taking care of her?” Youngjae managed to say. Yugyeom let out a quiet “yes.”

“Your family?”

“Something like that.”

Too tired to continue to talk and too tired to care for the consequences, the doctor inched forward until his chest was pressed against the young man’s back. Before Yugyeom could react, he managed to get his arms around the younger man’s middle and bow his head down to nuzzle against Yugyeom’s shoulder. The man had tensed up, but all the doctor did was squeeze like Yugyeom was a stuffed toy.

He felt Yugyeom’s hand over his own, finding his fingers and trying to pull them off. Youngjae laughed against his back, “Sleep,” he mumbled.

“This is what I meant by inappropriate,” Yugyeom whispered back. He was still trying to pry Youngjae’s fingers off his waist, only succeeding in making Youngjae grab his hand and keep it in his. Yugyeom only struggled a bit, trying to pull his hand away, but for someone so tired Youngjae had a tight grip—not tight enough to hurt, but enough that he couldn’t pull free easily. Eventually Yugyeom sighed and accepted his fate. He relaxed and pressed himself further against Youngjae; at the very least, the warmth he radiated was appreciated.

“You adore me,” he said, his breathe tickling the back of Yugyeom’s neck. The young man shivered at the feeling, but didn’t answer. He hummed and made himself more comfortable behind Yugyeom.

But when the doctor was about to drift off, Yugyeom whispered to the darkness thinking Youngjae was asleep. “Perhaps I do,” and a sniffle, “Good night, Youngjae.”

 

The next morning Youngjae woke up not to the sunlight pouring in through his window as most days, but to a ticklish sensation in his nose and the smell of mint and chocolate. He crinkled his nose in hopes of getting whatever it was brushing up against it would go away, but to no avail as it only caused him to sneeze. Almost immediately came a light jab to his chest, and the body in his arms shifted, the smell of mint moving away from him.

The doctor opened his eyes, slowly as to not overwhelm himself with the sudden brightness of the room. Instead of the beige of his walls, Youngjae saw strands of purple-red. They tickled his chin and curled around his jaw, and moved when he started to giggle.

“Too early,” a muffled voice said, a weight pressing itself closer against Youngjae’s shoulder. Warm puffs of air hit his neck, causing another bout of quiet laughter. That time, he felt a pinch to his side.

“You truly aren’t a morning person, are you?” Youngjae whispered into the mass of hair, smiling when Yugyeom groaned back. “There there,” he cooed, running a hand down Yugyeom’s back. He pulled him closer with the arm he had around the young man’s shoulders, feeling the hand Yugyeom had fisted in Youngjae’s shirt between them. Yugyeom’s other arm lay limply on Youngjae’s waist as he continued to sleep.

Overnight the two had shifted and moved until they were tangled up in each other; Youngjae couldn’t help but chuckle at how hesitant Yugyeom was initially to curling himself into the doctor’s chest later on. The young man had a leg in between Youngjae’s own, while his hand was loosely holding onto the front of Youngjae’s shirt. Youngjae was wrapped around the young man, a hand underneath him around the small of his back while the other held Yugyeom close. The doctor continued running his hand down the still sleeping man’s back, but he was very quickly losing feeling in his arm.

As nice as it was, to have Yugyeom so quiet and relaxed beside him, he needed to have blood circulation return to his arm. The young man let out something akin to a whine when Youngjae shifted—he had to bite down on his lip to prevent himself from laughing. The man was more child than adult, he thought fondly.

He tugged Yugyeom with him as he moved to lay on his back, so that he lay across his chest and not atop his arm. It was more comfortable, warmer, tempting the doctor to fall asleep again. He ran his fingers through Yugyeom’s hair, humming a tune his mother used to sing to him when he was a child. He knew he should get up, to wash up and start on breakfast, but it had been a long time since he allowed himself the luxury of sleeping in. Even more so since he’d anyone to share it with.

Youngjae pulled the blanket up a little higher, to tuck in around Yugyeom, and had not broke song once. He was comfortable, not just where he was in bed, but when he thought about the relationship he had with Yugyeom. Comfortable was how he would describe it. They had met several months ago, and despite the man’s slightly prickly nature, Youngjae had told him a great deal of things about himself and his life. He hadn’t regretted it, in fact he was thrilled to have someone to talk to other than his family. (He loved them, but there was only so much he could write in letters.) In return Yugyeom told him stories of his adventures in the forest and made sure he went home before dark. He told himself braving the cold weather to see him all those times hadn’t mattered—the doctor knew he had the choice to stay inside were it too cold—Yugyeom was very much worth each trip.

If he was asked how he ended up sharing a bed with the young man, Youngjae would laugh and shrug his shoulders. He didn’t know, he didn’t very much care. Yugyeom was rather adorable, he thought, snoring softly on top of him. That much he knew.

 

The doctor would have truly stayed in bed a while longer, or at least until his stomach protested, if not for the knock on his door.  It wasn’t strange for the people of the town to knock on each others’ doors, especially on the doctor’s or priest’s, most of the time for a small favor or a question. So it didn’t come as a surprise for Youngjae, not even the timing—people have knocked on his door for mishaps at nearly dawn because of alcohol—but he wasn’t entirely pleased either. It was like he was a child again, his mother pulling the covers off of him to get him up for school.

He sighed, but he would never shy away from his duties. Slowly sliding out from under Yugyeom, making sure he didn’t wake, he put on his slippers and pull on a robe he had draped over his chair, and made his way downstairs. The doctor’s glasses were where he left them, on the table by the door and slightly smudged from his haphazard wiping the night before. Nonetheless, he slipped them on before opening the door.

“Ah, good morning Mrs. Jeong,” he greeted, pulling the robe closer to himself from the cold. Quickly peering over the woman’s shoulder at the snow, white all over the town and up to their shins. Extremely bright on the eyes, as well.

“Good morning Doctor Choi,” the woman said as she pulled down her scarf, smiling slightly. “I’m sorry for disturbing you so early,” she began to say, but the doctor was quick to interrupt and tell her it wasn’t a problem at all. She returned his smile, but still wrung her gloved hands nervously. “It’s just..my husband. Because of all the snow and the ice, well, he slipped not long ago outside our home going to retrieve milk. He hit his head and..oh the sight was so….” The woman trailed off.

Youngjae tried to give her his best reassuring smile, “If you give me a few moments I will be right there with my supplies and we can patch him right up.” Mrs. Jeong let of a breathe of relief, and nodded fervently, adjusting her scarf again. Youngjae did his best not to shiver too much.

“Of course, doctor! Thank you so much,” she said, clapping her hands together. Youngjae only nodded and excused himself to get dressed while the woman made her way back through the snow home.

The doctor took a deep breath through his nose and set off to the living area to light the fireplace again. He might as well make the house a little warmer for when he return later. But before then…the doctor made his way back upstairs to his bedroom. Yugyeom was still asleep, only he lay diagonally across the entirety of his bed; even if Youngjae wished to go back to bed there was no room. He shook his head and went through his dresser, fetching a suitable outfit for the cold.

The slight noise must have been enough to wake Yugyeom, for as soon as the doctor turned around with a shirt and trousers in hand, a head poked out from the blankets. Bleary eyed, Yugyeom yawned, a hand over his mouth while the other stretched out above him.

“Apologies,” Youngjae said, no need to whisper. He stayed where he was, a smile on his lips as he watched Yugyeom ruffle his hair and move the blankets so it was properly wrapped around him like a cocoon of sorts. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“The cold does a better job,” the young man mumbled. His head rested on his shoulders, eyes hooded as he looked at the doctor. “Emergency, I assume?”

“Perhaps you aren’t as much a slug as I thought,” Youngjae said. He laughed when Yugyeom groaned, slumping over to rest against the wall. “But you would be correct. I have to go and attend to someone, icy accident and all that.”

Yugyeom hummed and closed his eyes again.

“Will you still be here when I come back?” He decided to ask. He was also well aware how fast his heart was beating, waiting for the man’s answer and praying he stay. Yugyeom had a tendency to give vague answers; never answering his questions, changing the subject, or just smiling and moving on. The doctor didn’t have too much time to spend staring at a half asleep man wrapped up in blankets like a newborn babe, but there he stood clothes in hand, waiting. (He would later shake his head at how irresponsible he was, but he would also reason matters of the heart were important to him as well.)

The young man laughed, a quiet giggle muffled under the blankets, and sat up properly. Yugyeom’s eyes were slightly more sharp, more alert, and so absolutely hazel in the morning light Youngjae almost missed the words that came out of his mouth.

“Let’s leave it to chance, shall we?”

Youngjae groaned and left for the washroom to ready up while Yugyeom fell over on himself in a fit of laughter. It rang throughout the doctor’s home and mixed with his own quiet chuckles as he made his way downstairs. Another not answer, but he had a feeling Yugyeom would be still remain. The man had an awful curious way of showing affection that the doctor almost wished he’d stayed asleep when he came back to his bedroom. Who knows, he could’ve gotten a sleepy hug or something of the sort.

Nonetheless, Yugyeom was Yugyeom, and Youngjae did come to adore the man. So as he pulled his scarf from the drying rack and slipped on his boots, he steeled himself for the cold wind and hoped Mr. Jeong didn’t break anything.

 

Youngjae didn’t return home until noon. Mr. Jeong had suffered a gash just above his eyebrow, blood dutifully wiped off by his wife by the time the doctor had arrived. It was somewhat deep, but Mrs. Jeong’s account said there was quite a lot of blood. He did his best to calm her while he disinfected the wound, cleaning it with alcohol and reassuring her she had nothing to worry about. He required a few stitches, but it was nothing if not a quick process. It wasn’t even the additional matter of Mr. Jeong’s sprained ankle that demanded his time; Youngjae had his fair share of sprained ankles and gave the couple exactly what they needed for a quick recovery.

It was the children that were out nearby the Jeong residence. He had run into them in the middle of a game of, well Youngjae wasn’t too sure what kind of game it was except the objective was to throw snowballs and hide. The doctor had just bowed goodbye to the couple when one of the younger children, Haebin, had run up behind him and crouched behind his legs. And that was how he was introduced to the “throwing snowballs” aspect of their little game.

He had played along for a little while, but was eventually kicked out for being a liability—not their words, but from the groans and complaints about “Doctor Choi you’re too big!” and how his various body parts stuck out from behind their snow forts, he excused himself from the game by faking his “death.” He felt a little justified in his bitterness when his side cheered. Little Haebin shook his head and gave the doctor’s shoulder a good pat before running off back to their little snow war.

Youngjae ended up building snowmen with some of the other children for a while afterward. The small group of five children under the supervision of their parents off to the side, gossiping about something or other, the doctor assumed. They were always giggling like schoolchildren whenever he passed. He helped Hyejoo build a snow puppy, or at least they both tried and he told her it was the most adorable puppy he’d ever seen. His thighs were hurting from squatting for so long, but the children, they were so happy someone joined them and wanted to help pat snow together and make snow animals.

Before Youngjae decided he should head home, he did his best to make a little snowman, with small sticks for arms and button eyes. He didn’t carry carrots with him, so it was left without a nose. The little snowman was smiling up regardless, so it didn’t matter. Brushing his trousers off and standing, he waved up to Dongho staring down from out his window.

 

“Yugyeom?” he called out as soon as he closed the door behind him. His bag and his glasses were set down on the table, and he worked on taking off his layers while walking further into his house. The young man’s boots still stood neatly by the door, and his clothes were still hanging off the rack before the fire. The house was quiet except for the sound of the flames crackling; nothing had changed since he’d left. He wondered if Yugyeom did fall back asleep instead of getting up, and judging by the lack of activity in the kitchen, he figured he had.

The doctor made his way upstairs, rubbing his eyes and lightly slapping the feeling back into his cheeks. He had no schedule for the day, no plans to do anything specific, but what he did want to do was fall over the young man who still held the luxury of sleep and wake the man up. It wasn’t fair that he’d been awake for hours already, after all.

Pushing open his bedroom door, Youngjae was surprised to see the bed empty. The sheets and pillows were all neatly arranged, but the occupant and the blankets seemed to be missing. He looked around to see if anything was out of place, and checked in his closet and under the bed, behind the door and under his desk, just in case the man wanted to play a trick on him. It was something he learned after sharing a room with his older brother from some years.

Curious, Yugyeom was nowhere to be found. Surely not in his study..?

Youngjae left his room, closing the door quietly behind him as he continued his way down the hall to the other room. He hadn’t shown the younger man his study before, and supposed he never told Yugyeom he shouldn’t wander around the house without him there—not that he minded too much, considering he trusted the man enough to invite him in.

“Yugyeom,” he tried calling out again. The door to his study was open, the light from the window falling into the hallway. The doctor made his way in quietly, wincing as the door creaked.

Yugyeom was in there, curled up on the windowsill. Youngjae was about to call him again when he noticed the young man’s relaxed posture and closed eyes. The missing blanket was draped loosely around his shoulders and bunched up in his lap. He was leaned against the window, each breath he took fogging the glass little by little. Directly under the sunlight, Yugyeom looked unreal—glowing almost.

It felt like any lingering cold in his body had melted away with how warm he felt just from looking at the man, just from being in the same room. A part of him imagined Yugyeom was sat at the window watching the streets awaiting his return, and another just thought he was like a wandering child, sleeping wherever he wanted. Both set bursts of joy throughout his person, and at that moment, Youngjae wished Yugyeom would stay forever.

Or for as long as he lived, he thought, as he went over to shake the man awake. (May the heavens watch over him as he does.)

 

 

 

This story continues when the days became warmer and the white melted away just enough for green to sprout. Winter had gone quietly, the snow eventually stopping, leaving just the winds to blow all they could before calming down.

“When you hear the sparrow return,” Yugyeom had told him before he left that day. “That is when we will meet again,” he whispered into the doctor’s ear, as if he were telling him a secret, before he walked out the door. It felt oddly intimate, such a gesture to answer such a simple question. His heart rate sped up when Yugyeom was close, almost touching when he leaned over to pass along his message.

The little smirk the young man wore when he’d gone had lingered in Youngjae’s mind, the last of him he’d see until their next meeting.

 

So when the morning came and Youngjae woke up to the sound of chirping, a grin had spread across his face before he even opened his eyes. By mid-afternoon he had finished his rounds, smiling and greeting all the people that were finally out after the passing of near freezing temperatures. Everyone was still dressed warmly in their wools and knits, but without the red faces Youngjae had become accustomed to. As he was unlocking the door to his house, to drop off his medical bag, he was stopped by a throat clearing. Youngjae nearly dropped his keys in surprise, snatching them from the air before they fell to the ground.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you, Doctor Choi!” the young woman exclaimed, a hand reached out to steady Youngjae if the need arose. Youngjae shook her head and gave her a good natured smile, straightening out a bit before fully turning to face her.

“It’s alright, would’ve gotten rid of any hiccups I had,” he laughed, albeit sheepishly when she looked at him puzzled. “Sorry, terrible joke.”

The young woman gave him a smile of her own, no doubt forgetting the doctor’s bout of awkwardness.

“So, what can I help you with, Seungyeon?”

“Ah!” the girl jolted as if she were pricked, shocking Youngjae in the process. He almost thought she was hurt or something if not for her wide smile. Seungyeon was always a cheery kind of girl, under almost every circumstance—Youngjae had never seen her without a smile on her face or laughing at something. Nonetheless she still managed to surprise him at times.

She thrust the basket into Youngjae’s arms, the doctor barely reacting fast enough to catch it when she took her hands back. “Mother just made those for you! They’re strawberry scones, since they’re in season and all. You know, for helping Jiyoung get better,” she said. Her long hair was constantly in her face from the wind, and as she spoke she kept pushing it away or putting it behind her ears, even spitting it out of her mouth when it got caught while she was speaking. The doctor had to laugh, covering it up with a cough when Seungyeon got it under control.

“She even helped to make them, and I would’ve too!” She went on to complain, “But lessons and all that.” The young woman sighed, puffing out her cheeks a little when she pouted. “Mother sent me to deliver them instead, so we hope you like them! She makes the best scones, really.”

“Oh my, I’m very grateful! She didn’t have to, Jiyoung either, but thank them for me, will you?” Youngjae said, fingering the cloth that covered up the pastries. “And thank you for delivering them to me.” Seungyeon nodded and spared a quick glance at the basket before looking back up at the doctor. He smiled, knowing very well what she was thinking. “How about a scone for the excellent service? I don’t know if I’d be able to finish all of them,” he offered, lifting the basket between them.

“Really?” The girl bounced on her heels, eyes sparkling up at him.

“Would I ever lie about excellent service?” Youngjae feigned obliviousness when Seungyeon seemed to freeze mid-bounce. “Oh, you meant the scones, why of course! I’d never lie about food either, you know.” The two shared a laugh, talking a bit more about her family before the doctor said he needed to get going. Reminding Seungyeon to stay warm, he unlocked the door of his home while she ran off, scone in hand toward one of her friends that happened to be passing.

 

“Yugyeom? Are you there?” Youngjae called out as he neared their meeting place, basket tucked safely under his arm. “I hope you’re in the mood for sweets,” he said, stepping over a fallen branch. He wasn’t that much further, and if he squinted and used a bit of his imagination, he could see the dark brown of Yugyeom’s cloak against the returning green of the forest. Youngjae’s following words died on his tongue when he pushed through the last few branches blocking his way.

The young man was there, stood in the center, arm stretched out before him with a black bird perched on his wrist. The doctor recognized it as the ones he used to see about, the same ones called “bad omens” in town. With the sparrows, they came back as well. Yugyeom was petting the bird, its black feathers shimmering under the sun, and appeared to be whispering to it with a soft expression on his face. Be it a trick of the light or not, but it looked as if the bird understood and nodded along to what the man was saying. It was an unusual sight, Yugyeom with such a creature instead of Nora, interacting as if they were old friends.

Youngjae didn’t know if it was because the bird knew, but as soon as he stepped closer, it flew off with a caw. Yugyeom had only watched it go, flapping its dark wings away, his arm still outstretched.

“I didn’t know you were fond of birds,” he remarked when he reached Yugyeom’s side, setting the basket down. “Did Nora not accompany you today?”

“Not all birds, just crows. They’re smarter than any average bird,” Yugyeomed hummed, adjusting his cloak as he sat down on the rock. He took a glance at the basket and lifted the end of the cloth to catch a whiff of bread. “Nora is indoors where it’s much warmer than here. What’s this?”

“Was that what that was? I learned something today,” Youngjae chuckled. He shooed Yugyeom’s hand away to lift the cloth himself, revealing the strawberry scones he received earlier. “Do you remember when I told you about a girl that I treated over the winter? She and her mother made these for me as a thank you. They’re quite good!”

“What a prestigious role you have,” Yugyeom teased playfully. The doctor rolled his eyes and nudged the basket toward the man. “Just have one already, we both know you want one.”

“How rude of you just to assume things about me,” the young man gasped dramatically, holding a hand to his chest. He instantly burst into giggles when Youngjae looked to him with a deadpan expression. Nonetheless, he picked one out of the basket and took a bite, staring back at Youngjae with a twinkle in his bright eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder about you,” Youngjae sighed, a smile slowly creeping up his face under Yugyeom’s amused staring. He took one for himself and leaned back on his hand, looking up at the sky while taking small bites of his scone.

“Mmm, I haven’t had strawberries for quite a while,” he heard Yugyeom say from beside him.

“You don’t grow any?”

“Not as much as some other things,” the young man said, throwing the last bit of his sweet in his mouth. Yugyeom then licked his fingers clean of any crumbs, effectively distracting Youngjae that he almost didn’t catch the last thing he said. “Besides, there’s always you who can buy them.”

A yelp interrupted his cheery laughter when Youngjae shoved the young man’s shoulder, but did little to stop it from continuing. Yugyeom laughed more at the doctor’s protests of not being made of money than anything else, clapping in glee when Youngjae pouted at him.

So it surprised the doctor when suddenly there was scone pressed against his lips. He looked up to see Yugyeom not giggling anymore, instead he stared at the doctor with a bright smile—the one where his eyes curved into crescents and his teeth were showing—and nudged the pastry against his mouth again. Youngjae slowly opened his mouth, just a bit in case the man decided to play another joke on him, while Yugyeom held his hand still as he took a bite.

“Pouting doesn’t suit your face,” he finally said, laughing through his nose, and let his hand drop to his lap when Youngjae took the scone in his own hand. Youngjae only pulled an ugly face, since his mouth was full and his mother didn’t raise a rude boy.

 

“You have something..” Youngjae pointed out. Yugyeom made a questioning sound, more occupied with brushing the crumbs off his clothes. The doctor nudged the empty basket out of the way to move closer to Yugyeom, supporting himself on a hand as he leaned over while he was still distracted. Before the young man could ask Youngjae to repeat himself, Youngjae licked his thumb and ran it across Yugyeom’s lips, getting the crumbs off.

For a moment there was silence and neither of them moved; Yugyeom stared at Youngjae and Youngjae kept his hand on Yugyeom’s face. In the distance a crow cawed, and the silence broke. The young man’s expression turned into exasperated disgust, leaning away from the doctor’s hand and groaning. He weakly slapped Youngjae’s hand away and continued to moan and groan, mostly in disbelief at the older man. Youngjae had taken the chance to move even closer until their thighs were touching to grab at the hand that was still trying to swat him away while apologies tumbled from his mouth in between giggles. Yugyeom’s reactions were much too amusing.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, sorry,” he laughed, holding onto Yugyeom’s hand and pulling him closer the further the young man leaned back. With one strong tug Yugyeom was draped over Youngjae, his head resting against the doctor’s while his entire arm was in Youngjae’s grasp. He made exaggerated whimpers while the doctor continued to laugh and apologize, patting Yugyeom’s head with his free hand.

“You are the absolute worst.”

“Only for you, darling.”

“Don’t ever call me that ever again if you’d like to keep your tongue.”

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

 

 

 

The trees were nearly full with leaves the next time they met.

Youngjae brought with him paper and pen, and sat under the shade of a tree writing a letter to his parents while he waited for Yugyeom to arrive. The letter he received not long ago told him of his newborn nephew, a healthy boy named Hanbyul, and how they wished he could be there to see him. He of course wished he were as well as he wrote in his reply, but perhaps when the weather was better he could make a trip back. Youngjae asked them how the winter was, and told them his was more or less the same as every other year. He had written about Yugyeom before, around the time they had first met, but barely mentioned him in that letter since they hadn’t the time to meet. His mother had said he sounded like a pleasant man, and happy that he found someone to just “be a boy” around. Youngjae choose to keep that comment to himself. He did, however tell his parents about being bested by children in a snowball fight.

As he tapped his pen against the paper thinking of what else to write, something darted out of the bushes beside him. The doctor jerked to the side, clutching the papers close to his chest in surprise.

“Nora! Get back here!” Followed by the cat was Yugyeom, bursting out from the forest into the clearing with his arms out before him and lunging towards the feline. His cloak nearly slapped the doctor in the face as he ran out, licking his cheek as it followed the young man. “Nora!” Yugyeom growled.

Youngjae set aside his letter to sit back and watch the chase happening before him, a small smile of disbelief on his face.

Nora ran around the rock, leaping over it when Yugyeom was about to grab her. Her fur was damp, darker and sticking up in some parts, and left wet footprints behind her. The doctor noticed the feline carrying something in its mouth, presumably what Yugyeom was chasing her around for. From what he could tell, it was a thin strip of something, thicker than string and flat, and a dark olive color. He didn’t know what it was, but it must’ve been important if Yugyeom was chasing around after it.

“Nora!” the young man whined when the cat jumped up into a tree across from where the doctor sat. Her cream and ash colored fur hidden behind the leaves, and if not for the slight movement and sounds of the leaves and branches, neither of them could have seen where she was. “See if I feed you later!” Yugyeom cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted up into the tree.

Youngjae couldn’t see his face, but could picture the man huffing and muttering obscenities under his breath. It only added to the hilarity that it was a mere cat that caused the young man to get so frustrated. He only turned around when Youngjae couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer.

“Oh hush,” he said, eventually moving to make his way over to the rock. The young man lay down on his back, ignoring Youngjae’s giggles, and let his head fall against the edge so when he opened his eyes, the doctor would be upside down. Spread out under the sun, Youngjae noticed that the front of Yugyeom’s clothes were wet as well, and wondered just what the young man and his cat were doing.

“What are you doing?” Yugyeom asked. It was quite a sight, the young man’s head hanging upside down with his hair falling down toward the ground, and staring right at him.

“I believe your answer to the same question would be more interesting,” Youngjae grinned, bending his knees to rest his elbows. “Please, do share.”

“Leave me be, I’m drying,” he said, rolling his eyes when Youngjae failed to answer.

“Not going to indulge me, Yugyeom? I promise I won’t laugh,” the doctor said. Deciding to walk over to the man, he placed his letter and pen safely back in his bag before getting to his feet. Yugyeom opened an eye when a shadow fell over his face, but closed it immediately when Youngjae grinned down at him. “How cold,” Youngjae said.

He leaned further down until their faces were only centimeters apart, his breathing causing Yugyeom to grimace and turn away. The doctor laughed, more puffs of air hitting the young man until he pushed Youngjae’s face away and sat up. Yugyeom ran a hand down his face and glared at the laughing man through his fingers.

“What have I done in the past to deserve this kind of treatment,” Yugyeom complained. “I’ve been good!”

“Don’t be dramatic,” the doctor replied. He spared a quick glance to his bag, still sitting the spot he vacated. He leaned over to lightly flick Yugyeom’s nose. The young man immediately lifted a hand to his nose, shielding his nose for any more abuse and scowling up at the doctor.

 

Youngjae had moved to sit with Yugyeom while the young man leaned his back against his side in attempts to dry himself again. The doctor had resumed writing his letter, continuing his recollection of the fight he was a part of. Yugyeom rested his head on Youngjae’s shoulder, his eyes closed, listening to his quiet hums while he wrote.

“Youngjae?”

“Hm?”

“Would you still want to see me even if I dried up in the sun?” Youngjae’s hand stilled, and looked to his side where Yugyeom was still leaning against him, relaxed like he didn’t ask a strange question seemingly out of nowhere.

“…Like a raisin?” he asked.

“Like a raisin,” Yugyeom repeated. He tilted his head up to stare at Youngjae. “I’ll no longer be young and beautiful,” he said with a serious expression, looking up at the doctor expectantly. It was difficult for Youngjae not to smile and shake his head, after all that time Yugyeom still managed to say things that surprised him.

“You best take back all the times you called me an idiot,” he chuckled, nudging the young man’s back with an elbow, “That question was enough to put you under the category.”

“Oh what a shallow man I’ve befriended,” Yugyeom moaned, putting a hand to his forehead, and leaned back harder and making Youngjae push back against him.

“Now I didn’t say I wouldn’t,” Youngjae protested in between laughs, he set his letter aside and pulled the young man into his lap to stop his fidgeting so that he had his head on his thighs. “Of course I would still come to see you, even shriveled up and wrinkly. You’d still be Yugyeom, after all.” In the back of his mind, he hoped Yugyeom didn’t notice he indirectly agreed he was beautiful—he’d tell him someday, or perhaps never.

And he assumed the young man was satisfied with his answer from the way he smiled up at him, trying to hide it behind a hand Youngjae pulled away.

“Well,” Yugyeom said. “Good to hear. And for the record, I would still like you if you were dried up like a raisin too. Which I don’t doubt will happen in a few years!” He managed to say before Youngjae flicked his forehead for making fun of his age again. When the giggles and huffs subsided and the silence returned, they two were left just staring into each other’s eyes, matching smiles on their faces.

“You know,” Yugyeom broke the silence again. Youngjae could only prepared himself for whatever the other man could possibly say next, expecting another out of the ordinary question. But as proven earlier, Yugyeom only ever surprised him. The young man reached a hand up to brush his bangs aside, his fingers skimming lightly across his forehead. “Your hair is getting quite long.”

Touch was not foreign to them, having known each other long enough to become comfortable in each other’s spaces—they had shared a bed already! However it was the small things, a brush of the hand or a touch that lingered too long, that caused a frenzy within the doctor. There was no medical reason why his heart would beat extremely fast, or why his stomach felt like there were hundreds of butterflies inside trying to get out; he could go on about his “symptoms,” and perhaps find a logical reason for all of it. But, but with all the stories his mother and sister told, with the amount of love stories he’d unintentionally read, Youngjae knew. Yugyeom’s fingers against his skin felt like fire, leaving behind a pleasant tingling sensation.

“So is yours,” he replied, doing very well in keeping his voice level. Youngjae too lifted a hand to push Yugyeom’s hair away from his forehead, briefly reveling in how soft it was again. The man laughed and pushed his hand away, brushing it back down with his own hands and flicking the air in front of Youngjae’s face threateningly. Well, the doctor didn’t know only Yugyeom was allowed to make observations—so he held the man’s nose and let out a loud “ha!”

Though, the young man did have a point and his hair was getting rather long. But that problem was for another day. For at that moment, Youngjae had to focus on catching the hand that insisted on jabbing him in the stomach.

 

Later on, Youngjae wrote in his letter if his mother would still love him if he looked like a prune. (The response came a few weeks later; she would, but wouldn’t take him outside often. Youngjae was mildly offended, and Yugyeom had only laughed when the doctor showed it to him.)

 

 

 

Spring had arrived once again, and with it the clear blue skies, blooming of all the various flora decorating the forest with an array of colors, and much to Youngjae’s displeasure, pollen. Since then he included honey in every one of his meals, mostly in tea or taking a small spoonful directly from the jar. It helped, even from years past, and his nose wasn’t as irritated as it could have been. The doctor fixed himself some nettle herbal tea, and saved some of the stinging nettles for when people came knocking on his door with runny noses and skin irritation. It wasn’t a complete cure, but at least he could go on into the forest without feeling like he was on the verge of death.

Nora was lounging in the sun when Youngjae reached the clearing, leisurely sprawled across the rock cleaning her fur. But what caught the doctor’s eye was the crown of flowers circled around the feline’s small head. It was a wreath of small white flowers, baby’s breath if he had to guess based on what he’d seen in texts, very meticulously made to fit around something so small. Nora meowed when Youngjae drew closer, flicking her tail lazily. First a scarf, then a flower crown. Surely someone must enjoy dressing their cat, Youngjae thought to himself as he pet Nora’s back.

“You look rather pretty today Nora,” he said. Up close he could see each individual stem wrapped around one another, neatly in order around the back of the feline’s head. “Welcoming the springtime?”

Nora didn’t answer, running a paw down her face, and ignored the doctor. He laughed anyway.

 

The doctor’s nose had become slightly red by the time Yugyeom made his appearance. Every few minutes he sniffled, and rubbed his nose with the tissues he kept in his bag. On one occasion he sneezed and scared Nora into jumping up from her sprawled position, her tail gone rigid as she looked over at him. Youngjae shook his head in apology, holding a tissue over the lower half of his face. Eventually the cat lay back down, a safer distance from him lest he startle her again.

“There you are,” Yugyeom huffed, making his way over to pick Nora up and taking a seat beside Youngjae. “What happened to you,” he said, eyeing the sniffling man. The doctor barely got to say a word before the young man turned his attention back to the cat, muttering under his breath and fixing the flower crown atop her head so it wasn’t crooked. It wasn’t even crooked in the first place, Youngjae thought. “Well?”

He nearly jumped in surprise when Yugyeom prodded, having thought the young man had dismissed him to fuss over Nora. Youngjae wasn’t bitter in the slightest, not when Yugyeom had always acted as such, pretending to ignore him and whatnot. (The ignoring only lasted so long for Youngjae as persistent when the need arose, and with Yugyeom it usually was necessary.)

“Just a reaction to some of the pollen in the air,” he said. He managed to smile, but feared it came off as a grimace when Yugyeom stared back at him blankly.

“The good doctor appears to be an idiot,” Yugyeom quickly, holding a hand up when Youngjae protested. “There is a cat with very obvious flowers on her head, and you choose to sit next to it? Are you mad?”

“It’s nothing to worry about, I assure you,” Youngjae said. “It’s only for a little while, then I’ll be fine!” The young man didn’t look convinced, and kept Nora to his other side away from Youngjae. “I promise,” the doctor tried again to convince the other man, lightly poking his cheek and smiling when Yugyeom tried to bite his finger.

It was quiet for a few moments, Youngjae sniffled a bit and Yugyeom shot him a look. “You changed your hair,” he said whilst the doctor was rubbing his nose again. The young man wordlessly handed him a handkerchief when the wind blew away the tissue in Youngjae’s hand. He mumbled a quick word of thanks, but didn’t use it.

“Hm?” Youngjae blinked over at him, as if not following the question. “Oh,” he said finally. Touching a hand to his hair, he chuckled a bit nervously. “I did, you were right. About it getting long, I mean. It was beginning to obscure my vision, so I just..pushed it back and swept it aside.” He demonstrated by waving his hand to the right, following the direction his bangs were parted in. “Until I get it cut, anyway. Though I have to admit it is a little strange to see part of my forehead again. I’ve been getting comments all morning.”

He paused, suddenly nervous, and licked his lips before asking, “Does it look bad?”

The young man snickered into his hand at the forehead comment, teetering in his seat when Youngjae shoved him not too lightly.

“No, it looks fine,” Yugyeom was still laughing into his hand, and if he was making fun of him Youngjae couldn’t tell. “I think it suits you,” he finally said, bumping their shoulders together. “You look nice.” It was almost as if he could read Youngjae’s thoughts, saying the last part to reassure him. Met with Yugyeom’s soft smile, he couldn’t find it in him to say anything more. And if the doctor’s pride swelled up at the words, no one but him was able to tell.

“Thank you,” he settled on, not able to come up with anything teasing to bring their playful atmosphere back. Yugyeom grinned anyway. (And told him to watch the size of his head, to which Youngjae groaned and rolled his eyes.)

 

 

 

“There’s something I want to show you,” Yugyeom said one day.

They had tried climbing a tree again earlier, to sit under some shade after they spent the morning hunting for thyme and sage—mostly for Youngjae, while Yugyeom played loyal assistant. Nora had come along as well, trailing behind the two with yet another flower crown sat atop her head. The flower of the day appeared to be a daisy, its petals bouncing with every step the cat took, big enough to obscure one of her ears. She followed them around for a good while, before running off to do whatever it was cats did. Yugyeom said to leave her be when the doctor asked, most likely chasing after a butterfly or a bird.

She hadn’t returned to them, not even when Youngjae was struggling to find footing on the tree trunk Yugyeom had already climbed. (The doctor was keeping an eye out for any surprise attacks that could have possibly led to a repeat of the last time he tried to climb a tree.) He had gotten up eventually with the help of the other man, pulling him up to sit beside him on the treetop. Their belongings lay a safe distance away, in case Youngjae’s landing was less than perfect. The doctor had laughed when Yugyeom said that, but still pinched his side for it.

“What is it?”  

“It depends if you can get down,” Yugyeom winked at him before sliding off the branch. The pleasant surprise Youngjae felt quickly morphed into horror when the young man leapt down without a warning, watching as he only stumbled a little after landing on his feet. He briefly had a good view of the man’s backside when he fell, and only continued to admire Yugyeom’s long legs when he stood again, completely unashamed even when the young man rolled his eyes at the staring. From where he sat, Youngjae could see the tips of the man’s ears burning red, and thought it a little too easy to make Yugyeom flustered.

It momentarily distracted from the problem at hand. One that included a recovered Yugyeom staring up at him, hand on his hip and foot tapping away. On his handsome face was a smirk, as if the doctor wouldn’t be able to get down by himself. He could be right, looking down.

“Come on, Youngjae,” Yugyeom sing-songed.

“You really make me rethink how young I am,” Youngjae muttered, inching closer to the trunk.

“You’re not!”

“Thank you,” he rolled his eyes, making a face. Looking down at the the ground again, his expression distorted further into exaggerated anguish. His pitiful wails only served to make Yugyeom laugh.

“You’ll live,” the young man tried to reassure him, “I won’t leave you sitting alone in the woods if you get hurt this time!”

“You have such a way with words.”

“Who’s the one being dramatic now?”

“Catch me if I fall?” All joking aside, the eternal young doctor was only a tad bit nervous about staining the green grass with red. He was a fair distance above ground, and although he admitted it had been a while since he’d climbed trees, he never disclosed it had been when he was a small child with boundless energy and no sense of danger. Ah, youth.

“You’ll be alright,” the young man’s tone was softer, soothing Youngjae’s worries with a smile. He held his arms open and promised to not let Youngjae’s face smash into the ground—so much for reassurance  he thought, groaning in agony.

“Come on!” Yugyeom urged, his leg shaking like he was trying to resist the urge to stomp.

“I don’t want to break my face,” he wailed, hugging the tree.

“Ya, you’re the one that wanted to climb up there it the first place!” the young man answered back heatedly, throwing up a finger to point at Youngjae.

“You should’ve stopped me!”

“Since when do you listen to m—oh,” Yugyeom stopped mid-sentence, blinking in surprise at Youngjae who stood before him. Well, sat before him, rubbing his back and groaning. “You jumped.”

“Thank you for the astute observation,” Youngjae continued to groan, taking the hand that was offered to him. His free hand was still rubbing his lower back, praying it wouldn’t bruise from his less than stellar landing. “Please, stop me next time.”

Yugyeom only giggled, and pulled the doctor along with the hand he had yet to let go of. “As I said before, since when do you listen to me?” Youngjae clumsily stumbled behind him, barely noticing the other pick up his basket as they made their way between the trees deeper into the forest.

“I’ll listen to you if you stop me from climbing trees,” he said, tightening his grip on Yugyeom’s hand and quickened his pace to fall in step beside the young man. He only grinned when Yugyeom turned to look at him with a quirked brow.

“I’ll remember that next time you decide you want a closer view of the sky.” Turning to face Youngjae he asked, “What does that mean, anyway? The sky is always going to be far no matter how high up in a tree you want to go!”

“A better question is where are you taking me?” he said with a loud voice, smiling like nothing had happened and he wasn’t hugging a tree trunk moments before and changing the subject. Yugyeom said nothing on the matter, but Youngjae did catch the man rolling his eyes.

“You’ll see. I had to make sure you were completely well enough to be around flora first,” the young man admitted, shrugging his shoulders when the doctor looked over at him with mild surprise.

“Is that why Nora’s been wearing flowers?” he finally asked after thinking over their last few meetings. His nasal irritation had been reduced greatly since then with honey and nettle, and also why he could begin picking herbs again. Youngjae hadn’t physically reacted to the flower crowns Nora had been walking around in, only thinking of them as pretty, and just assumed it was because flowers were finally blooming again that Yugyeom made them for her. It made sense that would be how Yugyeom could gauge his reactions to the pollen in the air—clever boy.

“Not…exactly,” the man replied. “It did help, though. We’re almost there.”

“Where is there, exactly?”

“Patience, old ma—ow!”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Yugyeom huffed and purposely bumped into Youngjae for pinching his hand, not amused with his poor taste in humor or abuse. If not for their still clasped hands, Youngjae was sure he would have veered off to the side and into a tree.

“Like I said, you obviously don’t listen to me.”

“Does it count for anything that I heard you?”

“For someone older than me you certain don’t act like it.”

“Perhaps if you respected me more, Yugyeom!”

“We’re close,” Yugyeom said instead, pulling on Youngjae’s hand as he took the lead once more. They were in a part of the forest Youngjae wasn’t familiar with, despite all his exploration over the years. He didn’t know how long they were walking for, nor was he paying any attention which was his own fault for being distracted by his company.

The area Yugyeom had led them was dark, like everything was masked in a hazy gray, the trees above them blocking out nearly all the sunlight, and only small streams peeked through between the leaves creating a trail of dotted lights along their path. The patches of grass and flowers were all darkened by the shade, the purples, blues, yellows, and greens washed out but yet still remained vibrant, lining the dirt path. The patches of bluebells and violets swayed in the wind, parting for them as the two passed into a more open area where the sun shone unobstructed.

And suddenly the purples became fushias and lavenders and orchids, the blues were sapphires and indigos, the yellows nearly gold and ivory, and all the shades of green from chartreuse to olive painted all over the large clearing. It was certainly bigger than the one near town, and nothing but open space with tall grass and flora—had such a place existed all along?

Youngjae was mesmerized by all the colors; even the air smelled fresher in his mind, tinged with the light scent of the various flowers growing around him, wonder and awe washing over him. So much that he didn’t realize Yugyeom letting go of his hand and walking forward into the grass. He let his eyes close and the wind blow past him, ruffling his hair and clothes, the sound of the leaves rustling and birds chirping behind him.

“Are you going to stand there all day?” Yugyeom called out, rousing Youngjae from his daze. When he opened his eyes the young man had already gone ways before him, standing in the middle of the clearing, the soft breeze playing with his rose colored hair. Under the sunlight it shone a brilliant vermillion, standing out among all the other hues like a rare flower. Radiant was all he could think.

“Calling Doctor Choi Youngjae!”

The doctor threw his head back and laughed, clearly amused with how impatient Yugyeom was getting and shouting his full name. He ran the rest of the way and nearly crashed into the younger man in all his excitement. Yugyeom put a hand on his shoulder, steadying the man and making sure he stayed upright lest both of them fall over. The doctor’s basket of thyme and sage sat on the ground beside Yugyeom’s feet, handle barely standing taller than the grass; the grass came up to about their shins, brushing their boots as they strolled a further in.

Out of the shady forest, Youngjae could identify bluebells and violets near where they came, and heather flowers and buttercups with dandelions here and there around them swaying in the wind.

“Where is this,” he asked, voiced tinged with awe.

“We’re still in the forest, just another part of it,” Yugyeom smirked. They were a decent distance from where the trees stood, under nothing but the vast expanse of blue sky and the bright yellow sun. Yugyeom took a seat, letting out a content sigh as he did, and leaned back on his arms and legs straight out before him. Youngjae followed suit, putting his bag beside him near the basket, and was tempted to lay down in the grass and just stare up at the sky, cloud watching. He didn’t, only because he was sure if he did, he’d stay even long after the sun set to see the stars.

“How’d you find this place, then?”

“It’s…” Yugyeom paused for a bit, pondering his words. “Nearby somewhere I go often, and one day I decided to walk around a bit and ended up here. It’s nicest in the springtime, when the flowers bloom.”

“I can tell,” Youngjae said, looking around some more. He reached over and plucked a dandelion from the ground, twirling it in his fingers. “Is this where you get the flowers for Nora’s little crowns? Which are very lovely, I have to say. Isn’t it difficult to make them so small?”

The doctor barely caught the slight tinge of pink on Yugyeom’s cheeks before the man coughed into his fist and looked away. He didn’t understand what would be so embarrassing about it, so he laughed and playfully nudged his shoulder, asking what. Perhaps it was because he was caught, thinking Youngjae would’ve not cared for who made them after so long, or maybe he didn’t know how to react to compliments.

“..Yes,” the man answered, clearing his throat, the red gone from his face. “Sometimes I pick the flowers around here for decoration, and other times I put together the crowns for no particular reason other than it’s something to do with my hands.”

“That’s an interesting skill,” Youngjae said, tilting his head back. “Did you learn when you were a child?”

“Ah,” Yugyeom slowly sat back up, almost hesitant to answer. He wrapped an arm around his knees while the other held his chin up. “Somewhere around there, when I was about eleven if I recall. There was only so much to do,” he let out a short laugh, staring into the distance.

“Did your mother teach you?” he asked, suddenly curious. The young man never spoke much about the people in his life, so Youngjae felt the need to ask. Yugyeom cast him a sidelong glance, once again pausing before he answered. He opened his mouth and closed it, not sure how he should answer. Youngjae only waited patiently, growing more curious as the seconds passed. “No,” he finally said. “My…guardian did. He said that…someone he once knew taught him how to make them, because people reminded him of flowers with the hundreds of different kinds and meanings, or something like that. They were pretty,” he quickly cut his train of thought and changed the subject. “What did you do?”

“Well, when I was a child I learned how to climb trees—” Youngjae answered, noticing the discomfort Yugyeom felt talking about that person. It did strike him somewhat strange the young man had a “guardian,” but didn’t press it any further, going along with where the conversation went.

“You’re not very good at it,” Yugyeom interrupted, more at ease with his slumped posture.

“I was, mind you. Skills can deteriorate if not used,” he justified himself, holding his nose in the air. “I didn’t get to spend too much time outdoors after my studies became more…intense, I think would be the proper word.” Yugyeom hummed, nodding his head in understanding.

“And now?”

“Well now, I have you don’t I?” he grinned, laughing at Yugyeom when he rolled his eyes—the small smile he tried to hide behind his arm didn’t go unnoticed. “Even though I don’t climb trees or run around chasing after butterflies and fireflies anymore, it’s nice to walk around in the woods when the weather is good. It just so happens I can collect the medicinal herbs I need, so it all works out in the end.”

“Don’t forget stargazing,” the other man added.

“Right, of course! And speaking of, you must bring me back here to do just that, it must feel amazing to lay in the grass and count the stars,” Youngjae exclaimed, stars in his eyes just imagining it.

“Am I your guide now?” Yugyeom teased, letting out a short bark of laughter when Youngjae turned to him and nodded excitedly.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else! And you can’t send me back at nightfall, not when this is at stake! I will not be barred by a curfew!”

“You’re absolutely ridiculous.”

“Says the man that makes flower crowns for cats!”

“Who else would I make them for! It’s strange to make one for myself,” Yugyeom defended himself, slapping Youngjae on the shoulder.

“Me, of course!” the doctor said as if it were obvious. He fended off Yugyeom’s next slap and gave the man a hit back on his arm.

“You have hands to do it, don’t you?” he countered, dodging a surprise attack aimed for his ribs.

“And you think of me as the insufferable one,” Youngjae laughed, not at all surprised with the comeback.

“I can’t help if you are,” the young man stuck his tongue out, daring Youngjae to retaliate.

“You just said you wouldn’t make one for yourself, so why would I make one for _my_ self!”

“Because _you’re_ shameless!”

“Oh you cheeky little—” Youngjae lunged for Yugyeom, laughing when the man squeaked in surprise, and relentlessly tickled his sides and wherever he could reach with him squirming so much. He managed to get Yugyeom to fall backward onto the ground and fend off his hands while he continued tickling the young man, unable to help himself from laughing along. Yugyeom’s face had turned impossibly red, neck bared as he threw his head back against the grass, and trying to slap Youngjae’s arms away from him. He landed a few hard hits to Youngjae’s chest, but it wasn’t enough to make the doctor stop.

“You’re not winning this one!” Youngjae said in between breathes, sure of his victory in the small argument. Or, up until Yugyeom rolled them both over with well timed shove that sent Youngjae off him, with Yugyeom suddenly sitting on top of his thighs. Suddenly, he was thankful he’d retired his glasses for the time being, or else he wouldn’t know what state they’d be in after their little tussle.

“Are you sure?” Yugyeom questioned, breathing heavily, his face still red, but a wicked glint in his eyes as he began to tickle Youngjae back. Nothing could’ve prepared Youngjae for the counterattack, he was barely able to catch Yugyeom’s wrists and only managed to prevent the young man from tickling his underarms by keeping his arms braced against his chest. He was sure he had tears on his face, or at the very least in his eyes with how hard he was laughing.

For a moment things stilled and the doctor was allowed  moment to breathe while Yugyeom sat back on his thighs, keeping him down. “Do you surrender?”

Youngjae let his arms fall to his sides, chest heaving with each breath he took. He whined, but didn’t say anything. Yugyeom didn’t seem to care, taunting him a little more. “Oh, the good doctor is speechless after defeat?” Youngjae only tilted his head up to eye the young man sitting on top of him, his mouth still hung open taking in large gulps of air. The young man was not looking any better, his arms hanging limply in front of him, his hair mussed and head practically resting on his shoulder, staring down at him with a smug grin.

“In your dreams, Yugyeom,” and he flipped them over by raising a leg, the shift enough to send Yugyeom teetering to the side, catching him off guard long enough for Youngjae to get on top and pin the man’s wrists down by his shoulders. He hovered over Yugyeom, catching the surprise flicker through his eyes before Youngjae let his head drop, breathy chuckles escaping him. They both acted like children, rolling around in the grass tickling each other, and no doubt they had grass and dirt all over their hair and clothes after their tussle.

Soon his little chuckles became louder, louder and louder until he was laughing without abandon. At first he didn’t hear anything for the man he still had pinned underneath him, but not long after Yugyeom began to laugh along, feeling his body shake with laughter. They stayed like that for a while, just laughing, carefree and happy in the middle of the clearing.

Youngjae eventually managed to stifle his giggles into nothing more than a few amused noises, and stared down at Yugyeom who was looking up at him. A wonderful smile on his face, his eyes so bright he swore the moon would be envious, and a light red brushed across his face from laughing so much; Youngjae thought he was breathtaking, even with the grass in his hair.

“What?” he asked, staring up at Youngjae with twinkling eyes. And Youngjae couldn’t stop himself after that.

“May I kiss you?”

Yugyeom’s breath hitched and his eyes widened, the red on his cheeks darkened. It was too late to take back, too late to bury it with a teasing remark and pretend it never happened, but inside his mind he knew he didn’t want to take it back. He was nothing like the protagonist in his novels, and Yugyeom was certainly not a damsel in distress, and they were more likely to jump into a stream than spend hours waxing poetic about one another under the moonlight. But he felt so elated, so light, and everything else those borish romance novels went on about. Youngjae understood them then, looking down at Yugyeom, waiting for an answer.

His heart was beating incredibly fast in his chest, and while completely aware of the possible outcomes including the young man pushing him away and running off, Youngjae could only continue smiling.

“…Absolutely ridiculous,” Yugyeom finally whispered, the ends of his lips curling into a smile. Youngjae watched the younger man lick his lips, following the movement of his tongue, before looking back up to see Yugyeom close his eyes. He smiled to himself, closing his eyes as well, and leaned down.

 

 

 

“Oh Doctor, you’re looking well!”

“Did something good happen? I’ve never seen you so happy!”

“It’s like you’ve become an endless fountain of positivity, my boy!”

“Congratulations! Oh..for what? Well, something wonderful must’ve come your way for that smile on your face!”

Youngjae spent a few weeks waving off questions and comments, laughing sheepishly and not exactly answering. He himself wasn’t aware of his change in demeanor, he went about his days the same way as always; the townspeople seemed to think otherwise every time they stopped to speak with him. The first few times were a bit strange, people made comments as he passed but he didn’t think of it as anything other than common smalltalk. When it happened more after that, he became more conscious of his movements and expressions, like slowing his pace and biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too much. The doctor was by no means a dim man, but it did take a little bit of time until he figured it out.

He blamed Yugyeom, of course. The young man didn’t seem to care, idly inspecting his fingernails when he voiced his despair. Or complained about it, rather.

They had met several times after their kiss among the flowers—though not nearly enough for him—seeing each other in a new light, and shyly testing new waters. On one of those meetings, Youngjae brought with him a light pink rose. It was something he remembered from his last relationship, something his mother stressed the importance of when he was a boy; his only hope at the time was that Yugyeom accept it. He was nervous, so much that he almost knocked them both over when he pulled Yugyeom in for an embrace in attempts to keep the rose hidden that day.

Thankfully Yugyeom hadn’t questioned it, just laughed it off and made said he was happy to see him as well. It was after they sat down Youngjae mustered up his courage and presented it to Yugyeom, formally declaring his intention of courting the man. He’d never forget how the young man reacted, from frozen to uncontrollable laughter; he had been apologizing between giggles, telling Youngjae he didn’t mean to, but it was just so serious he couldn’t help it. His own face had been flushed, slapping the giggly man repeatedly to get him to stop but ended up laughing with him until they were leaned up against each other, breathless.

Yugyeom had taken the rose from the doctor’s hand that lay limp between them, and twirled it in his fingers. Youngjae, from his spot on the man’s shoulder, only watched. He of course said yes, much to Youngjae’s delight, though it hadn’t been much of a surprise. (For the sake of tradition, the doctor explained later.) The man then snapped the stem between his fingers, tossing the end half without much of a thought, and placed the rose behind his ear. The doctor remembered how the pink stood out next to the darker red of Yugyeom’s hair and how beautiful he was when he looked over to him, asking what he was staring at. Youngjae would admit he should have picked his words a bit better, but caught it the moment he only asked if he could kiss Yugyeom again. The man—Youngjae really should have seen it coming—rolled his eyes and told him he hoped Youngjae wouldn’t feel the need to ask every time. Then, cupped the surprised doctor’s face and pull him in himself, kissing him soundly before Youngjae could protest. Needless to say, Youngjae had no problem giving the younger man kisses after that.

It was the likely explanation for his behavior, and who else but Yugyeom had allowed it? Said man only  scoffed when Youngjae continued to rant about it.

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“I admit I’m more than a tad envious of the woman that’s caught your eye!”

“It was only a matter of time before you found yourself a girl! Congratulations, our young doctor is finally growing up!”

“So who is she? She can’t be from here! Oh doctor, you can’t keep secrets like this!”

Youngjae moaned into his hands as he recounted the inquiries of too nosy townspeople about a fictitious woman in his life. Yugyeom hummed, and ran a hand down his back; he had no interest in what the people of Youngjae’s town thought, but tried to calm the man regardless.

“They think I’ve gone and met some woman!” Youngjae huffed. He was still bewildered by such claims, he made appearances in town quite often, alone. “There are plenty of other reasons I could be happier, and they choose to think that! And might I mentioned there aren’t even any nearby towns for that to happen!”  

“There, there,” the young man said, sounding disinterested but continued to rub his back. When Yugyeom’s hand stilled Youngjae looked up from his hands to find him staring thoughtfully up into the sky. “Well, would you have rather you did?” Yugyeom suddenly said before Youngjae could call for his attention.

“What?”

“Meet a woman, I mean.”

“No, of course not! Why would you ever think that!?” Youngjae sat up straighter, turning to fully face Yugyeom, and would’ve reached for the other’s hands if Yugyeom hadn’t stopped him. Their relationship was new, yes, but the feelings he had weren’t—there was no one else he wanted to be with. Those thoughts ran through his head as he tried to understand what the younger man meant; he was sure he made himself quite clear.

“Calm down, Youngjae,” Yugyeom laughed, “I can hear your mind overworking itself. I didn’t mean anything by it.” He shook his head softly when Youngjae visibly relaxed, the easygoing smile the young man adored slowly appearing back on his face. “I’m quite enamored of you.”

Youngjae let out a sigh of relief, but immediately slapped Yugyeom’s shoulder for making him worry over nothing. “You idiot, I thought were having second thoughts.”

“Me? You’re the one in a supposed relationship with a fake woman, oh my broken heart!” The young man brought his hands over his heart, leaning heavily against Youngjae, his head tipped backward.

“Very funny,” Youngjae rolled his eyes, but made no effort to push the young man off him.

“It actually is. Just a little bit,” Yugyeom grinned up at him. The doctor smiled back down fondly, and angled his head to leave a soft kiss upon Yugyeom’s lips. “No it isn’t. And for the record, I quite fancy you myself.”

“Why, I couldn’t tell,” Yugyeom teased. Youngjae only moved to rub their noses together, distracting the young man enough to tickle his sides. He squealed, pushing himself from the doctor and his wandering hands.

“Can you tell now?” the doctor teased back, wiggling his fingers in the man’s direction. Yugyeom had his arms wrapped around himself, watching Youngjae with wary eyes.

“If I say no?” he dared to say, smirking when surprise briefly flashed through Youngjae’s face. However like Yugyeom, he wouldn’t back down either. Wearing a smirk of his own he inched closer, licking his lips when Yugyeom only angled his chin forward and stared him down.

“I suppose I’ll have to work harder to show you, then.”

 

 

 

“Yugyeom! Are you here?” the doctor called out, stepping into the clearing one afternoon. “I have chocolate!” he tried again. The only response was from the crow that sat atop one of the trees, watching Youngjae as he made his way around the clearing to try and catch a glimpse of the young man. Heaving a sigh he went to sit down and set the small bundle of sweets down beside him. Although they did not set times for their meetings, Youngjae always preferred it when he arrived to see Yugyeom waiting for him. There was a certain feeling that came with having someone wait on you, and then finally seeing them after a tiring day—morning, in Youngjae’s case.

“I heard you from meters away,” a voice came from behind him. The doctor nearly fell over with how first he turned, to see Yugyeom step forward and slip his hood off. “You’re so loud,” he said.

“The whole point was that you hear me,” Youngjae replied, holding out his hand. The young man rolled his eyes and placed his hand in Youngjae’s, lacing their fingers together as he sat down.

“Well wonderful job on that. I’m sure the rest of the forest did as well.”

“Oh, if I have an audience I can’t just leave them with that!” the doctor grinned, and cupped his free hand next to his mouth. “HELLO FOREST, I FANCY YUGY—”

Yugyeom’s hand covered his mouth before he could finish his declaration; the man knocked into his side in his haste to silence him Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh. Even muffled by the hand, Youngjae’s laughter was heard loud, but not so clear. The young man’s face had turned a bright red, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t believe Youngjae, and would’ve kept his hand over the doctor’s mouth the rest of their time together if he wasn’t so weak for his joyful expression. (He was also sure Youngjae wasn’t above licking his hand.)

“You’re unbelievable,” he moaned, moving off of Youngjae and letting his hand drop. The young man swung a leg over one of Youngjae’s own, resting on the older man’s thigh, and pulled their still clasped hands into his lap. He did it so naturally Youngjae had to wonder if Yugyeom himself even noticed the level of physical affection he was showing. Regardless, the doctor very happily reciprocated by resting his head on the young man’s shoulder and giving his hand a small squeeze.

“If it happened, can it truly be unbelievable?” he mused, laughing when Yugyeom groaned.

“What was that you said about chocolate earlier?” Yugyeom asked instead.

“Hm?” Youngjae made himself more comfortable against the younger man, pressing himself closer until all he could smell was the familiar combination of mint and chocolate. His eyes had closed without him realizing, surprising himself when they opened after Yugyeom had jostled him. “Oh, that. A merchant came by recently and he had some, so I bought several blocks.”

“Several? My, that’s quite a bit,” the young man said. The doctor could hear the grin in his voice, and had to stifle his own laughter when he felt Yugyeom move around, most likely trying to find said blocks, already assuming he had brought them with him.

“Well, I know of someone who really enjoys it,” he mouthed into Yugyeom’s neck, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin with every word. The young man squirmed out of instinct, but from the way he shook his hand free for Youngjae’s and leaned around the doctor’s body too look for the treat, he didn’t care too much for it.

“Where, where, where?” he chanted, one hand reaching toward the doctor’s side and the other pushing Youngjae’s hand off his waist. He had a bit of leverage since his leg was still on top of the older man’s, making it easier to climb over and pluck the wrapped parcel from the man’s other side. Youngjae, on the other hand, was content with finally getting his arms circles around Yugyeom’s torso without any interference. His head still lay on the man’s shoulder as he watched Yugyeom unwrap the bundle and clap his hands together in excitement.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you enjoyed chocolate more than my company,” the doctor said while Yugyeom bit into a small square of chocolate, his eyes closing as he tasted it. His only answer was a pleasured groan.

“I suppose I should just be pleased you like it,” Youngjae grumbled, closing his eyes again. He crossed his ankles, trapping Yugyeom’s leg between his, moving to get more comfortable.

“Don’t sound so put out, I enjoy your company too,” Yugyeom said, bringing a hand to softly pat the doctor’s head like he were a pup. Though, Youngjae had a feeling the young man was staring at the chocolate the entire time he spoke. “I’ll give you something in return, if that’ll make you feel better.”

“Does it have anything to do you hitting me? Because I think I’ll be alright without that,” he responded.

“I’ll put that on my list of what Youngjae dislikes, right after to cucumbers,” the young man chuckled, “But no, it does not.”

“May I have it now?”

“No.”

“And why not?” Youngjae whined, lifting his head from Yugyeom’s shoulder. He let the man have the sweets, so it was only fair Yugyeom give up whatever it was he had to him! The doctor rocked Yugyeom from side to side in an attempt to get his resolve to crumble, but the young man was having none of it and continued to deny him.

“Because I said so!” He continued eating despite the rocking, paying little attention to Youngjae even when he stopped shaking him and opened his mouth, expecting to be fed. “What are you, a child?” Yugyeom scoffed.

“No, but I am holding one,” the man said, barely dodging the hand aimed for his face. He muffled his laughter in Yugyeom’s shoulder, squeezing the young man’s middle in a sign of affection. He heard the man sigh, and suddenly a piece of chocolate was held in front of his face. “Ah, I knew you couldn’t resist me.”

“Insufferable,” Yugyeom said over his own piece. Youngjae hummed.

The two sat in silence, the doctor having eventually let go of Yugyeom to sit properly—their legs remained tangled—and shared the chocolate in a mostly civil manner. (Neither of them could resist ridiculing the other, from how much they ate to their age, anything was grounds for (unnecessary) commentary.)

“You should drink something,” the doctor insisted, pushing his flask toward Yugyeom who in turn, politely declined. “You’ll end up dehydrated, you should listen to the doctor here.”

“I’m fine, thank you _doctor_ ,” he replied, pushing it away. “I’m not particularly thirsty at the moment.”

“You say that, but your bloodstream is—” he tried to explain, but was cut off. He had taken a generous swig a little earlier before offering it to the young man, the chocolate leaving him parched. Or, he tried to offer, really he was just looking out for Yugyeom’s well-being.

“Please, Youngjae,” Yugyeom gave him an exasperated look, “There’s no need to get technical, I’m fine.”

“You should drink it anyway,” Youngjae tried again, this time placing the flask against the younger man’s lips. Yugyeom let out a weak laugh and turned his head away, pushing Youngjae’s hand away. “I don’t want water, you nut.”

“Well that’s just offensive,” Youngjae mock gasped, pulling the flask against his chest. “See if I offer you water again. You will most definitely get thirsty and regret ever turning me away.”

“I think I’ll live,” the young man snickered into his hand at Youngjae’s expression, eyes narrowed and mouth curved in an exaggerated frown. “I appreciate the concern,” he cooed, nosing the doctor’s cheek to pacify him. As much as Youngjae wanted to resist, he couldn’t help pressing a light kiss to the tip of Yugyeom’s nose as he pulled away. Seeing the pretty pink on the man’s cheeks was far better than anything else that could’ve possibly happened. Well, second to the way Yugyeom pushed him away and shyly laughed it off.

“And I mean it, don’t beg me for a single drop later,” Youngjae wagged a finger in the man’s direction once he calmed down.

“Oh I won’t you inane man,” Yugyeom huffed and grabbed the offending finger, pulling it down and away from his face.

“You know,” he said when he pulled his finger back, “I’m only more convinced the more chocolate you consume all it does it make you smell like it. Do you even digest it?”

“How did you ever come up with that?”

The doctor shrugged his shoulders, “All I can smell when you’re near is chocolate—chocolate and mint. It’s very nice.”

“I..thank you?” Yugyeom looked slightly perplexed, not sure how exactly to take Youngjae’s words. The doctor just lightly pinched the man’s cheek and laughed it off, telling him it was nothing more than a mere observation.

“Right, now that that’s done,” he continued on after folding up the leftover bits they had and placing it in his bag, “I believe you had something to give me!” Yugyeom had laughed, amused with how expectant the doctor looked staring intently at him with a hand out, palm faced upward. “Come on then!”

“I don’t suppose this is revenge for earlier?” he smiled behind a hand, knocking their shoulders together playfully.

“I don’t know where you could’ve gotten that idea,” Youngjae replied, feigning innocence. “What is it, what is it, what is it?”

Yugyeom groaned, “I hope I didn’t raise your expectations, it really isn’t anything special.” He reached into his trousers pocket and pulled out a small red pouch. It was barely the size of the man’s palm, with a yellow drawstring.

“What is it?” Youngjae asked again, curiosity sprinkled in his tone rather than impatience. By then Yugyeom looked a little nervous, but shrugged at his question. Wordlessly, he placed the pouch in the doctor’s hand and bit his lip, almost afraid to see his reaction. The man did his best to play nonchalant, leaning back and staring off into the distance like he didn’t care. Though, Youngjae caught him looking over from the corner of his eyes while he opened the pouch. He was shocked, to say the least.

Were it a flower bud or tea leaves he would have been mildly surprised, but what he hadn’t expected to see was what looked like a bracelet inside. He slowly slipped it out into his hand; it really was a bracelet! Almost jade like in color, it was a thin leather bracelet with a small metal charm hanging off it.

“Oh..” he muttered, running his finger along the material. The metal glinted in the sunlight, and ironically it appeared to be cut in the shape of a sun, the silver matching nicely with the green. Yugyeom hovered over his shoulder, evidently his nervousness getting the best of him; he had to know what Youngjae thought.

“Well?” “Did you make this for me?” They both said at once.

“Um.” Yugyeom was the first to say something, red immediately blooming on his cheeks. “I admit I made it, but whether it was for you is questionable,” he said.

“Of course,” Youngjae laughed. “You just happen to keep leather bracelets on your person, right? I completely understand.” The young man groaned and covered his face with his hands when the doctor continued. “It’s like how I keep a few candies in my bag, you never know when you run into rowdy children! Is that how it is, Yugyeom?”

The man peeked through his fingers only to see the doctor still grinning at him, and whimpered, defeated by the silly man. “I’m not going to say it,” he resolved.

“Say what? That you have more in your other pockets? Your secret is safe with me,” Youngjae cackled when Yugyeom began to slap him repeatedly on his chest and arm. He quickly slipped it around his wrist, admiring the shiny glimmery the charm held, and caught the young man’s hand in his again. “It’s lovely, thank you,” he said, making sure Yugyeom’s attention was on him before smiling.

“I’ve come to regret my decisions,” Yugyeom said woefully, collapsing against Youngjae.

“We all have to lay down our pride sometime,” the doctor said reassuringly. He pat the back of Yugyeom’s hand and pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles for good measure. “Believe me, I’ve learned with you,” he muttered quietly.

“What was that?”

“Ah? What?” Youngjae blinked over at Yugyeom’s confused face. “I haven’t said anything!”

“…Alright.” The young man sighed and leaned his head against Youngjae’s, suddenly drowsy. Youngjae rested his head on top, and begun to hum quietly—something he learned Yugyeom liked. There wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before in their little clearing, so he moved his sights onto his new bracelet. He wouldn’t deny he was a little curious why a bracelet of all things, and the color and the charm. And, Youngjae couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen something like it before somewhere…Nora! He stopped mid-hum to gasp at his sudden realization, mumbling a small apology for jerking up so quickly.

“If I were to ask you how long you planned on making this for me, what would you say?” Youngjae asked slowly.

“I’d ask why you would ask me that,” Yugyeom said back.

“Well you see, I recall Nora running around with a green strip of something in her mouth the day you were chasing after her and I writing my letter months ago.”

“You remember that?” Yugyeom sat up in surprise, looking at Youngjae like he were some strange creature.

“It might have partially been because of your wet clo—” he didn’t get to finish as Yugyeom pinched his side rather hard, Youngjae only able to squeal in pain between laughs and apologies. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! That wasn’t it, I promise. I’ve always had a good memory.”

“You make it very difficult for me not to hit you,” the young man grumbled. Youngjae laughed.

“Can you answer my question now?”

“You’ve answered it for yourself.”

“Oh Yugyeooom,” Youngjae gushed, throwing his arms around the man’s shoulders and laughing right into his ear, “Sometimes you make my heart want to burst, I knew you cared for me!”

Yugyeom had of course rolled his eyes at Youngjae’s overly exaggerated antics, but didn’t shy away from his embrace either. And as cringeworthy his gestures were at times, he couldn’t help the smile creeping up his face. “Of course I do, are you an idiot?” He mumbled, a thin layer of fondness hidden in his words, as he leaned over and lightly pressed their lips together. The doctor smiled into their chaste kiss, following after Yugyeom’s mouth after he moved away in hopes for another. Unfortunately the young man denied him that privilege by pressing a finger to his lips and pushing his head away. He had laughed at the pout on Youngjae’s face after.

“Well now the least you could do is answer another question,” the doctor decided, pulling one of Yugyeom’s arms to his chest while he lay his head on the younger man’s shoulder.

“It depends on the question,” Yugyeom replied airily, brushing his fingers through Youngjae’s hair.

“Why the sun?” he asked, holding his wrist in the air and watching the wind play with the charm. It was very nicely made, but still a strange choice of…anything. Yugyeom’s hand stilled for a moment, but just as quickly went back to the soothing motions through the doctor’s hair.

“Ah,” he said. “You must promise not to laugh, first.”

“When have I ever laughed at you?” There was a sharp tug to his hair. “Oh alright, I promise.”

“…..You remind me of the sun,” Yugyeom said in a quiet voice. “Mostly your smile. Sometimes you make me feel…warm like I’m standing in sunlight.” Youngjae nearly stopped breathing at the admission, breath caught in his throat as Yugyeom’s words sunk in. There was a fluttery feeling in his chest, not from the lack of oxygen, but like his heart threatened to burst out of his chest. Youngjae turned to look at Yugyeom, perhaps ask him if it was a joke, but Yugyeom’s flushed face was all the confirmation he needed.

“And,” the young man continued, avoiding eye contact and cutting off anything Youngjae was going to say, “Before you ask about the color, it’s green because it’s the color of spring. And you..you ran into me around this time in spring, do you remember?” Youngjae didn’t bother answering at that point, overcome with the need to hold Yugyeom, kiss him, showering him with all the affection in the world; the feeling was indescribable. He peppered the young man’s face with light kisses, relishing in the light giggles flitting through his ears, until he reached those lips and thoroughly kissed him until both of them were left breathless.

“You are going to be the death of me,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to Yugyeom’s. Looking into the young man’s eyes, he couldn’t help but wonder how angry the moon must be to know her brightest stars were not in the sky, but right there before him.

 

 

 

There was a small commotion a little ways off from where the doctor was.

He was on his way home from a seeing a patient when he heard the cries of a little girl. Her mother was knelt down beside her, no doubt trying to calm her down, when Youngjae turned the corner and saw them. Other townspeople lingered about, some whispering to each other and some asking the mother and daughter if they needed anything.

“Miho, Miho it’s okay,” her mother said, “We can fix it, don’t cry!”

“What happened?” Youngjae asked when he was close enough, kneeling on Miho’s other side. The girl was still crying, big fat tears rolling down her splotched cheeks and mucus running down her nose. “Miho, don’t cry,” he tried.

“She was running ahead of me on our way to Hyemi’s house when she tripped and fell,” her mother told him over her daughter’s wails. “Scraped her knee and tore her skirt. See?” She gestured toward Miho’s leg and the doctor finally noticed the tear in the girl’s skirt. Because of the way she sat, the hole wasn’t above her knee anymore. Youngjae asked her mother’s permission before speaking to Miho, telling her he was just going to check if she was okay. The girl still cried, but managed a weak nod.

It wasn’t anything serious, but it was fairly large scrape. He was a little surprised her skirt did nothing to buffer the damage, but that wasn’t the issue at the moment. He rummaged through his bag until he found a spare handkerchief and his flask, wasting no time in wetting the handkerchief to start cleaning Miho’s knee. It obviously wasn’t a disinfectant, and it would only make Miho cry louder, but Youngjae worked with what he had—Miho’s mother was appreciative at least.

By the time Youngjae applied a bandage on Miho’s knee she had stopped sobbing, only sniffling every so often while she rubbed at her face with her fists. Her mother was rubbing her back, whispering quietly to the girl and promising her to “fix her skirt like it was new again.”

“Oh bless your soul, Doctor,” she thanked him as he stood up, she herself helping Miho stand before she did. “Who knows how long we would’ve been out here if it weren’t for you.”

“Not at all,” Youngjae laughed nervously, still unable to respond properly to compliments. “I’m happy to be of help. I hope you’re feeling better now, Miho,” he said to the girl, bending at the waist to be eye-level with her. She gave him a watery smile, but a smile nonetheless. The doctor was about to ruffle her hair a bit to make her laugh when he suddenly remembered something.

“Ah!” he exclaimed, making both mother and child look at him in confusion. “I know you’re sad about your skirt but,” Youngjae continued, and opened his bag once more for something Yugyeom (begrudgingly) taught him how to make the last time he visited. “But how about this?” He presented the girl with a simple flower crown of daisies and violets. (He had only discovered it that morning when he went to look for his thermometer; and realized why Yugyeom had been snickering so much that day.)

Miho gasped, her small hands flying up to cover her mouth, eyes sparkling at the flowers. “I can have it?” she said, looking up at the doctor. Youngjae smiled and nodded, placing it gently on her head.

“Look mommy, look!” Miho jumped up and down, twirling in place for her mother to see. The woman laughed, agreeing it was very beautiful. “Thank you, Doctor Choi!” she beamed up at him, forgetting all about her skirt and injury.

“Yes, thank you,” her mother thanked him once again before leading Miho by the hand away. The little girl waved to him as they walked away, and even a fair distance away Youngjae heard her excited babbling. He only shook his head, and picked up his bag, ready to head on home again.

“My, Doctor, you’re full of surprises,” a voice from his side said. Father Park appeared beside him, wearing the same gentle smile as always.

“And you’re always surprising me,” Youngjae said, holding a hand over his heart.

“My apologies,” the priest laughed, putting a hand on the doctor’s shoulder. “I couldn’t help but watch your little session. You’re very good with children.”

“Ah it’s mostly because I can relate. Medicine is still disgusting after all these years.” Father Park stifled his laughter behind a hand, his shoulders shaking at the doctor’s confession. He gave Youngjae a hard pat on the back, a few chuckles still escaping him.

“You’re a delight,” he said, smiling at Youngjae. “I also didn’t know you could make flower crowns!”

“You saw that too?”

“Well who didn’t? Little Miho is likely telling everyone now,” the priest continued.

“Ah,” the doctor scratched the back of his neck, laughing a little bashfully. “I only learned recently, and she looked so sad about her skirt…”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about Doctor,” Father Park reassured him, “I myself used to love making them as well. My mother often collected flowers from a nearby field when I was a child.”

“Oh?”

“She was the one that taught me, and told me to make them for my loved ones because flowers expressed what words couldn’t,” he told the doctor, smiling fondly as he wandered through his memories. “It’s been several years since I’ve seen them, let alone make them anymore. Seeing you give one to Miho just reminded me of that.”

“I’m sure if the children received one from you they’d be very happy,” Youngjae hinted, a sly grin appearing on his face. “It’s never too late to start again!”

“Oh no, I don’t think I can remember anymore it was so long ago!” Father Park shook his head. “The memories of my my boyhood…well I must’ve forgotten along the way.”

“You? Forget something? Why I couldn’t believe that even if I tried! You would have to be forcing yourself to forget for that to be true, Father!” the doctor exclaimed, “You’re the one person that remembers nearly everything!”

“Now you’re just exaggerating Doctor, I can’t possibly remember everything,” the priest chuckled. “I’ll leave the flowers to you. And speaking of, Mr. Song tells me he sold you a rather beautiful pink rose some time ago. Perhaps for that mystery woman of yours?”

“Oh not you too,” Youngjae groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He thought those rumors had died with time, but apparently not. Father Park had only laughed. “I sent it with a letter to my sister!” he lied, mentally apologizing to his sister for dragging her into it, but oh how he wished people would stop being so nosy.

“Oh?” He didn’t seem to be fully convinced, but thankfully didn’t try to refute it. Youngjae did send things often to his family, so it wouldn’t be too farfetched to believe. “Whatever for?”

“She complained of her husband not buying her nice things anymore,” the doctor said, sighing and rolling his eyes for added effect. “She’s always favored pink, and with her newborn I figured a pink rose would be suitable.”

“Ah, what a considerate brother you are,” Father park said, nodding along. “I hope it reaches her well. Pity it wasn’t for another lady.” He had the audacity to wink at the doctor, playing it off with a laugh while Youngjae gaped at him.

“I really don’t have that kind of woman in my life!” Youngjae whined, laughing weakly half at the tenacity of the priest and half at how much of a popular topic his romantic life was.

“It’s alright. Confession will always be available if you need it.” WIth that Father Park made his leave, sending the doctor off with a good natured smile and wave.

 

On his way home, Youngjae wondered when his life had become a comedic play.

 

 

 

In the following weeks, between Youngjae’s duties of house visits and plant collecting, the doctor and young man fell into a routine of sorts. Youngjae had given Yugyeom a spare key somewhere along the way, for no particular reason aside from subtly hinting the young man should visit him more often. They still met in the clearing, sometimes venturing deeper to the larger clearing or to the creek, and other times the young man could be found sitting in Youngjae’s arm chair or in the kitchen with a kettle already boiling when he returned home. To date Yugyeom had used it only but a few times (without Youngjae around), but had been agreeing to going into town with Youngjae more often than not.

The doctor had asked about Yugyeom’s home once, while they sat in the grass one afternoon after splashing about in the stream.

“You do remember I don’t live alone,” the young man said, giving Youngjae a sideways glance. “There isn’t much reason to go.”

“I remember that, but…isn’t it alright?”

“What is?”

“Considering we’re lovers,” he said, the tips of his ears burning as he spoke, “Even just to walk by, I’m curious to know where it is you call home.” It took an immense amount of willpower not to bury his face in his hands from embarrassment, and even if it were the truth hearing it spoken aloud was…

“Oh Youngjae, Youngjae, Youngjae,” Yugyeom shook his head, not at all fazed by the label or choosing to ignore it, he continued. “Believe me when I say I would love to take you there so I didn’t have to go into your town anymore,” he paused when the doctor laughed; his apprehension of the town a small joke between them, “But it’s not something I can decide to do, I hope you can understand.” The man reached over and grabbed Youngjae’s hand, slotting his fingers in between the doctor’s and closing down.

Truthfully Youngjae did not understand, he didn’t see any reason why they weren’t able to even pass by. He didn’t believe Yugyeom would lie to him, but it hurt him a little bit that wasn’t extended the same invitation he offered to the young man many many times. But if it were out of his control like he implied, well, Youngjae could do nothing but respect that.

The doctor smiled over at him and nodded, squeezing Yugyeom’s hand. The man sighed in relief and leaned over to kiss his cheek in thanks. “One day you can, I promise. But meanwhile, I’ll just have to visit your home more often to make up for it, if that’s alright with you?” Yugyeom bat his lashes in a transparent attempt at being coy, biting his lip and pulling their joined hands to his chest.   

“I think that’s a suitable compromise,” Youngjae grinned, pulling their hands back and Yugyeom closer until they were sitting were shoulder to shoulder. Yugyeom had laughed, and yanked the doctor by the front of his damp shirt forward into a kiss.

The doctor remembered the man’s discomfort of being in town, especially at times where people were still roaming about, and did his best to accommodate. Because of the cool temperatures at night it wasn’t uncommon for them to stay out after the sun set, talking about mundane things or stargazing, and easier for Yugyeom to walk back with him without nervously eyeing every movement around him. (Inside the safety of his home Yugyeom would relax more, and they would prepare a late supper together over light banter.) Other times, it was a little more difficult to convince him.

But there were days when the man stayed the night, when Youngjae had no important engagements to attend to, Yugyeom would rouse him from sleep and they would take a walk around the town before dawn broke. And despite how tired Youngjae would be those mornings, and how many times he would fall back asleep standing up, he always went and told little stories of things that happened here and there. Yugyeom seemed to be fascinated with the buildings and structures every time, never tiring of walking the same paths under the twilight. The thing he liked the most, however, was the reflection of the colored glass of the church when the sun rose, dancing across the other buildings and the ground. Though, there were times it looked like there was light coming from inside, but Youngjae would brush it off as a trick of the eyes, and instead start to lead Yugyeom away back.

It was curious to think that previously when the sun set Yugyeom was aloof and curt, but as time went on, watching the sun rise he allowed Youngjae to lean against him while he nodded off with a soft smile on his face. Then, on those days they would fall back into bed and not wake until late morning.

Youngjae quite enjoyed the younger man’s presence in his home, almost as if they shared the space like a husband and wife. He hadn’t any of his belongings tucked among Youngjae’s own, but it was easy to see Yugyeom in things around the house from the extra tea cup on the table to the blankets left on the windowsill and armchair; the young man had perfectly fit himself into Youngjae’s life. Casting a glance to the sleeping man beside him, he hoped Yugyeom would never leave.

 

 

 

The night found them once again among the field of flowers, sat atop an old blanket Yugyeom brought with him. It was a dark blue, darker in the night and almost black, and large enough for them to lay down comfortably with a fair amount of space left over.

When Youngjae had met Yugyeom earlier in the evening the man had the blanket draped over his head and his upper half, wrapped thickly around his body that Youngjae became concerned he had fallen ill. Yugyeom smacked his hand away when he tried to check his temperature, and rolled his eyes reassuring the worrisome doctor he was indeed fine. Youngjae looked unsure, and asked what the purpose was to which Yugyeom told him to wait and see. And he did, when they made their way to the larger clearing. The young man had unwrapped the blanket from himself, letting it unfold out in the wind, and lay it down on the grass before settling down on it. Yugyeom had smiled up at Youngjae and pat the spot beside him, no doubt feeling rather pleased with himself after seeing the doctor’s surprised expression. The doctor’s bag, their shoes and outer layers, were neatly placed by the edge of their makeshift mat to keep it from being overturned by the evening winds.

Eventually the two had moved to sit back to back; Youngjae had his head tilted back on Yugyeom’s shoulder while he stared up into the sky; Yugyeom’s head was bowed as he quietly slept. The silence was comforting, after a long day the quiet was welcome for the doctor to be alone with his thoughts. Staring up into the twinkling lights in the sky, Youngjae smiled. He traced patterns in the stars with his finger, quietly describing to the sleeping man the shapes he could see and told stories of the constellations. Around them the fireflies had come out, their lights flickering in and out of existence, moving slowly through the clearing like the sky’s earthly counterpart.

Youngjae let his eyes fall close, words of majestic creatures in the skies dying into nothing more than quiet whispers heard only by the night. Yugyeom made no sound, barely shifting when the doctor gently knocked his head into his.

“I hope you’re not awake,” he whispered, “And this may seem silly to do while you’re asleep, but I don’t think I’d be able to face you if you were awake. It’s…a scary thing to admit, despite how utterly happy it makes me. Maybe because I don’t know if it would make you happy as well, as much as I hope.”

He wanted to reach for Yugyeom’s hand, for any part of him, but refrained in the case he woke. Youngjae wouldn’t know how to explain what he was doing either, so he continued on in his one-sided dialogue.

“I…” he let out a breath, laughing to himself, “I’m in love with you. So, so much that it’s been distracting me quite a bit. I haven’t done anything stupid yet, but by your standards most of the things I do are stupid, no? Either way, I promise I’ll be careful. And…I know you’ve told me countless times, forgive me, but I hope some part of you feels what I do. That you’re…you’re in love with me too.

“Someday I’ll be brave enough to confess this again to you. You know after all this time, I can just about imagine your reaction now. You’d roll your eyes and huff, blowing that one part of your hair that always manages to fall over your eyes, and then call me an idiot or something similar. Your face would get so red, like a tomato! And you’ll pretend it’s not, and hit me if I point it out, but then you’d give in and laugh and smile and…well, I don’t know what you would do after. Return my feelings and kiss me, perhaps? You’re always so stingy with those, I know you enjoy kissing me!” Youngjae whined, “You’d be laughing at me if you were awake right now, I just know it. But…I hope you realize it’s things like that I appreciate—no, love about you. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought “ah, he’s so refreshing,” it’s like my mind is in this endless cycle. It’s…you’re all I ever think about. I’m thankful we had the chance to meet.

“Ah, this is so embarrassing! But I think I’ve said all I wanted to…” he paused, listening for Yugyeom’s still steady breathing. “How did you even fall asleep so quickly?” Youngjae laughed, loudly and freely, when the man didn’t stir. He was about to move so he could have a proper look at Yugyeom when the young man groaned, his back arched and head leaned into his shoulder as he began to wake. Speaking to him in low tones was safe, but laughing? And especially Youngjae’s (rather obnoxious, according to Yugyeom) laughter, it had no trouble rousing the young man.

“What were you doing, laughing to yourself like mad man?” Yugyeom mumbled, stifling a yawn. He leaned back into Youngjae, his head falling next to the doctor’s as they were earlier. Youngjae butted his head against Yugyeom’s playfully, smiling at the man’s tired groaning.

“And I thought you were never going to wake,” he teased. “I didn’t think my company bore you that much.”

“Your voice is soothing,” the man mumbled back, his voice thick from sleep. “Felt like I was home.” Youngjae smiled, Yugyeom had always been terribly honest when he was sleepy. He couldn’t see the young man’s face, so Youngjae settled for gently poking at his back with his elbow rather than continuing to tease the adorable man. Yugyeom murmured a quiet “stop that,” and pushed back against him, seemingly a little more awake and back to his “Youngjae is an idiot” senses.

The doctor shook his head, but nonetheless pushed back, only relenting when Yugyeom started to laugh. Youngjae took mercy on his younger lover, but not enough that he would stop playing with him. Instead, he toppled them both over to the side and climbed on top of Yugyeom, hovering over the man with a wide grin on his face. Of course Yugyeom huffed, turning his face away from Youngjae’s and giving him a hard slap to the chest.

“That was uncalled for,” the young man said, looking up at Youngjae from the corner of his eye.

“I had to wake you somehow,” he replied, leaning on one elbow to turn Yugyeom’s head to face him again, and brush the hair out of his eyes. The man had scrunched up his face when he did so, but did not protest.

“It’s extremely ineffective.”

“You’re awake now, aren’t you?” Youngjae’s smile grew when Yugyeom only response was a deadpan glare.

“Will you get off me then? I daresay we find ourselves in this position a bit too often,” Yugyeom complained, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared up at Youngjae, expecting him to move, and only rolled his eyes when the doctor did no such thing. “Never listens,” Youngjae heard him say under his breathe.

“Well perhaps I enjoy having you look up at me,” the doctor said cheekily.

“I won’t dignify that with a response,” Yugyeom said. Shortly after, the young man yawned and pressed a hand to his closed eyes before opening them to stare up at the doctor again. The same exasperated expression remained on his face.

“Alright, alright,” Youngjae broke, chuckling moreso to himself and rolling off the man. “We should head home anyhow.”

“You can go, I’m not too far from where I need to go,” Yugyeom said. He hadn’t gotten up despite Youngjae releasing him from his captivity, and only lifted an arm to wave the doctor away. From where he stood, it appeared that Yugyeom was going to fall asleep in the clearing.

“You must be out of your mind if I’m leaving you here. You’ll be coming back with me, Yugyeom.” Youngjae stood and grabbed his belongings, nudging the man with his foot to get up.

“Youngjae, please,” he groaned, throwing an arm over his face.

“You would fall asleep on your feet quicker than you would get home, and I will not have you sleeping in the forest alone,” Youngjae said with a note of finality. He was already slipping on his shoes, waiting for the young man to get up. “I will carry you back with me if I need to.”

“You worry too much,” Yugyeom huffed, but sat up. He covered his face with his hands and let out a muffled shout—it was Youngjae’s turn to roll his eyes—then followed the doctor’s example and crawled over to put on his shoes.

“That’s my Yugyeom.”

“Watch your tongue if you’d like to keep it.”

“You’d be quite sad if I lost my tongue, if the—”

“Don’t you dare finish that.”

“Yes, dear.”

 

 

 

“I’ve been meaning to ask, what kind of tea do you like?”

Youngjae sat at the table with a glass of water, a book open before him. Yugyeom had just come out from the washroom, steam billowing out from behind him, and fixed himself a cup of warm water.

“Hmm,” he hummed, blowing into his cup. “Peppermint.”

Earlier Youngjae had come home after a long day to find Yugyeom lounging in his bedroom with a book he recognized was from his study. The doctor let his bag slip to the floor and immediately fell forward into the man on the bed, his arms going around Yugyeom’s middle as he rest his head on his stomach. Yugyeom let out a small grunt at the sudden weight thrown on his body, but only continued to read. Youngjae inched further up across Yugyeom’s stomach, and made himself more comfortable on the bed curled up by the man’s side. He sighed contently when Yugyeom began to gently comb through his hair. The man mumbled a low “welcome back,” not looking away from the novel. The doctor only remembered nuzzling against his stomach before he fell asleep.

He had only slept for a short period of time before he woke up to Yugyeom lightly slapping his cheek. The book the younger man was reading sat atop his nightstand, presumably Yugyeom grew disinterested—it was one of the novels he himself hadn’t even finished. The sky was dark and Yugyeom said something about being hungry, but having just awoke Youngjae had trouble comprehending anything save for how comfortable and warm he was. In the end, with the encouraging incentive of kisses, he had made his way downstairs to prepare dinner. It was an uneventful affair, the usual banter and cheekiness that came when they were together, and the comfortable silence as they ate.

Only after the two had cleared the table and done the dishes Youngjae sent Yugyeom off with a set of sleepwear into the washroom while he busied himself with other things.

“Peppermint?” he repeated in surprise. Yugyeom took a seat diagonal from him, quirking a brow over his cup. “I suppose I was close in my guess, I always imagined you would like mint in your tea.”

“Because I smell like mint and chocolate,” the man said, his expression not changing; he still looked at Youngjae as if he didn’t understand why they were having the conversation at all.

“Uhm.”

“….That’s your reasoning,” Yugyeom deadpanned. He dragged a hand down his face and shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Come on!” Youngjae laughed, amused by Yugyeom’s dramatics, and pulled the man’s hand away from his face. “It’s perfectly sound!”  

“It’s perfectly ridiculous is what it is! It’s like assuming you like honey and sandalwood just because you—” The young man quickly stopped, his eyes wide as he realized what he had been saying.

“Because I what?” Youngjae grinned, pushing his book aside to lean his elbows on the table. His undivided attention on the other man, “Please, do go on.”

Yugyeom ignored him, and turned his cheek to sip at his drink. It would have been a haughty action on his part, if not for the rising blush on his cheeks from his almost admission.

“Yugyeommm!”

“Go wash up already,” Yugyeom huffed. “It’s getting late.”

“Yes _mother_ ,” Youngjae sang back, letting the topic slide. He went around Yugyeom, catching the man’s cheek when he went in for a kiss on his way to the bath. He was far enough away to miss the slap aimed for him and laughed all the way to the washroom.

 

The young man still sat at the table when he came out, idly flipping the pages of the book he’d left there. Yugyeom hadn’t said a word even when Youngjae approached him from behind and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. At first Youngjae just watched him turn the pages, not even sure if he was even reading it or doing it to avoid acknowledging his presence. Whatever the case, Youngjae didn’t care and buried his face in the man’s neck and inhaled.

The sound of pages turning stopped. “….Did you just _sniff_ me?”

“No?” came the muffled reply.

“You did!” Yugyeom exclaimed incredulously, pulling Youngjae’s arms off him to turn in his seat. The doctor only wrinkled his nose and feigned innocence, blinking back at Yugyeom as if he hadn’t done anything.

“One can’t help but smell while they inhale!”

“But not everyone inhales like they’re breathing air for the first time!”

“Well that’s certainly a creative response—”

“My virtue!” Yugyeom wailed, holding a hand to his mouth and acting as if he were blinking away tears. He got up from his chair and fled to the other room as Youngjae stood stupefied at where the man once sat.

“Oi, Yugyeom!” he shouted, following the young man’s path, prepared to defend himself in their inevitable (childish) squabble. What he found was Yugyeom laying sideways in the armchair, cackling like there was no tomorrow, clutching his sides.

“Your face was hysterical, I can’t take it!” he gasped between laughs when he noticed Youngjae’s head pop up over the chair.  He continued to giggle even when the doctor pushed his legs off the armrest to sit. Youngjae crossed his arms over his chest, huffing once before letting himself fall over onto the young man; he found great joy in the whines and the squirming.

“Youngjaeee get off me!” Yugyeom whined, trying to shove the older man off him—he was heavier than he looked. The doctor continue to lay limp on top of Yugyeom, wondering if he should just fall asleep there and worry about consequences later. He would have done it, had Yugyeom not managed to shove him off with a strong push. Youngjae tumbled to the floor and landed with a large thud. For a moment he wondered where he was, blinking the stars out of his vision, and waited for the ringing in his ears to stop. The young man’s face suddenly appeared in his line of sight, squinting down at him.

“You have a hard head,” he said. Youngjae groaned.

“Why yes, I’m perfectly fine thank you for asking,” he moaned, slowly sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

“I’d imagine you’d say something if you weren’t,” Yugyeom said. The man didn’t offer his hand to help Youngjae up, nor had he even moved from his spot while the doctor lay on the floor. “I’m sure you keep your home very tidy, but perhaps you should get up now.”

Youngjae rolled his eyes, choosing not to comment that he was waiting for Yugyeom to offer some help; though he had the feeling he wouldn’t have anyway. “One day I’m going to fall and not be able to get up,” he grumbled.

“What, like in love with me?” Yugyeom had a small smirk on his face, mischief twinkling in his eyes as he stared down at Youngjae.

“No need to worry about that, it’s already happened. I was talking more like…if I fell down the stairs,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders as if he hadn’t confessed. (Though, he was a little worried about falling down the stairs and not being able to get up. Something similar happened to one of the more elderly members of their town some time ago.) Truthfully, the two never spoke much of their feelings, they knew the mutual attraction was there as well as their compatibility; and that was seemingly enough. More often than not Youngjae had thought about it, from the time of his nighttime monologue and even before it, to where they sat in his house just playing around. It was bound to happen, he told himself, with the time they’ve spent together and amount of time that passed—he only wished he exercised a bit more tact before he slipped it in conversation.

The doctor played with his bracelet, fiddling with the charm, while waiting for Yugyeom to react. His words hung in the air like smoke, wrapping around the two of them until one of them would decide to dissipate it. Youngjae wasn’t going to be the one, he hadn’t wanted to keep his feelings to himself any longer and needed an answer. The young man was often too mysterious, there was no way to know unless he put it out there, even in a thinly veiled joke.

Behind him he heard Yugyeom shift, his legs appearing in Youngjae’s peripheral vision as the man sighed. “Well,” he said. “I was expecting a little more…direct from you—though I am pleasantly surprised you’ve gotten more subtle as of late.”

“Ugh, you,” Youngjae grumbled, pushing the man’s legs. A small smile had appeared on his face, but didn’t dare look up at him just yet, waiting for Yugyeom to continue.

“I mean that as a compliment, so stop that,” he said, nudging the doctor with his foot. “And I suppose I have to give you my answer now, hm?”

Then, without warning, Yugyeom lightly tugged on Youngjae’s hair to tip his head backward until he was staring at the young man’s (upside down) smiling face. The doctor was about to his mouth to comment when Yugyeom leaned over and kissed him, softly and gently, reminding him of the first time when he had asked to kiss Yugyeom. Youngjae broke the kiss only to turn around so he could face the man properly; sitting up on his knees he pulled Yugyeom in again by the back of his neck, the kiss more fervent than the last.

Yugyeom had started giggling when Youngjae’s hand found its way under his shirt, his awful touch ticklish, and nearly bit down on Youngjae’s tongue had he not pulled himself away. “Ack, sorry, sorry!” Yugyeom tried to hold back his laughter as he leaned further away from the doctor, distracted by the hilarity of their broken mood. The doctor groaned, his head dropping into Yugyeom’s lap. And despite his disappointment and the overall situation, he laughed too. (He remained disappointed, though.)

“Aw, don’t pout,” the young man said after a moment had passed, “I’ll take full responsibility for ruining the moment. At the very least be glad I didn’t actually bite your tongue. Although…” There was a sharp pinch by the underside of his knee that caused Yugyeom to hiss in pain, scowling down at the mop of hair down his lap. “Alright, alright! I wasn’t going to say anything bad!” He brought the side of his hand down on the back of Youngjae’s head in a chopping motion.

Yugyeom sighed when the doctor didn’t move. He bounced his knees, “Up, up, Youngjae. Your head is as heavy as it is hard, and it would be nice to keep feeling in my legs!”

“Don’t want to,” Youngjae mumbled.

“Oh you big child, remind me who the older one is again,” Yugyeom muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. “I’m going to get up now,” he said. Youngjae didn’t move. He heard Yugyeom sigh, and braced himself for the possibility he fall over again only to be surprised by the hand in his hair.

“What to do with you,” the young man chided. He clicked his tongue and shook his head, “Now I really do sound like your mother.”

“It would be quite unfortunate if you were,” Youngjae finally lifted his head, grinning up at Yugyeom. The man glanced down at him, now that Youngjae was properly facing him, he flicked the doctor square in the forehead.

“Ever so difficult,” he huffed while Youngjae sat back on his heels, rubbing his forehead. “But yes, unfortunate considering you had your hand up my shirt earlier.”

“But you’re not, so it’s alright,” the doctor replied. He stood up, his knees beginning to hurt from kneeling for so long, and moved to hover over Yugyeom, holding himself up with a hand on top of the chair. The man looked up at him in confusion, half expecting the doctor to crush him again and half expecting him to continue where they left off. “Now sit still for a moment,” Youngjae said instead, a hand poised to return the forehead flick. “This hurts me more that it does you,” he said solemnly.

“Wait, what are yo—Absolutely not!” Before Youngjae could strike, Yugyeom ducked out from under him, nearly stumbling over the doctor’s feet in his haste to escape. He ran around to the other side of the room to the window, nearly hiding himself behind the curtain, watching with narrowed eyes as Youngjae slowly made his way over.

“It’s only fair, Yugyeom!” The doctor laughed as he followed the man into the dining area, keeping his steps quick while Yugyeom darted about. They stood at opposite ends of the table; on one side Youngjae grinned, determination in his eyes, and the other was Yugyeom, a tongue peeking out from his lips as his eyes glanced back and forth for possible escape routes. “Yugyeommm,” he sang.

“Youngjaeeee,” the man said in the same tone, feinting left before making a mad dash toward the stairs. “Don’t you dare!”

“It’s just friendly retaliation!” he shouted back, having barely enough to time to switch directions when Yugyeom ran right. He almost caught the hem of the man’s shirt as he passed, but sadly in his grasp was nothing but air.

“Youngjaeeeeeee,” Yugyeom whined turning away from the staircase before he cornered himself, deciding to run Youngjae around in circles instead. He looped back to the armchair, ducking when the doctor lunged over the top in an attempt to grab him. “It’s abuse if you just want to hit me!” He shouted over his shoulder as he tried to crawl away without Youngjae noticing.

“And what do you call the times you’ve hit me?” The doctor said, taking slow steps around the chair.

“Love ta—” Yugyeom was cut off by his own shrieks when he was suddenly pulled backward by his ankle. He had almost gotten back to the dining room when Youngjae spotted him crawling away on his hands and knees, and acting before he thought it through, grabbed Yugyeom’s ankle and pulled. “I can’t hear you!” Youngjae teased. Yugyeom’s yells turned into laughter the further he was being dragged, squealing when his shirt began to ride up. “Youngjae, let go of me!”

“Not until I’m sure you won’t run again!”

“Youngjae!”

The young man let his head drop against the floor when he finally stopped moving, catching his breath. Youngjae released Yugyeom’s ankle when he pulled the man to the rug that lay in front of the fireplace. He brushed a hand through his hair, the whole ordeal taking a lot more out of him than he expected. Youngjae stood over Yugyeom as the man slowly flipped himself back over, lazily tugging his shirt back down. He appeared to have tired himself as well, tugging his shirt only partially over his stomach before letting his hand drop to the floor. The doctor heaved a sigh and took a seat beside Yugyeom’s head, resting his arm over his bent knee while his other leg stretched out along the man’s side. The two glanced at each other, still catching their breaths. Then, with a small smile, Youngjae reached over and flicked Yugyeom’s forehead.

There was a moment of silence while Yugyeom just stared up at the doctor, unblinking. And suddenly, he burst into laughter. Uncontrollable and loud; Youngjae would admit he was a little startled by it. Yugyeom had taken to rolling over to his side, still laughing and shaking his head. “Are you serious?!” he breathed out, his entire body shaking with barely contained mirth. “Was all that worth it?”

The doctor let out his out short bark of laughter, shaking his head at the man; he should have known, expected even, that it was the game they play. He leaned over Yugyeom, pushing his hair back so he could see the young man’s face properly. Yugyeom had calmed down some, a few giggles here and there, but overall lay peacefully as Youngjae continued his gentle ministrations.

“Verily,” he answered, a grin on his face as he bent down to kiss Yugyeom’s forehead.

“Small victories, I suppose,” the man replied, nipping at Youngjae’s chin as he pulled away. “But you’re still an idiot,” he matched the doctor’s grin before he pulled Youngjae back down for a hard kiss, holding the older man’s face between his hands.

Youngjae hardly had any time to react, mentally patting himself on the back for bracing a hand on the ground next to Yugyeom lest he crush the man—though it would have been Yugyeom’s fault if that happened. He smiled into their kiss, angling his head just enough to coax a soft moan from the young man under him.

Despite the number of kisses they’ve shared, the doctor didn’t think he could ever tire from the sight of Yugyeom’s breathless expression, rosy cheeked and dazed, his lips slick and red. So when they eventually broke apart and Yugyeom looked up at him with hooded eyes, his own lustful expression reflected back, Youngjae kissed him once more. Yugyeom laughed through his nose at Youngjae’s enthusiasm, and brought an arm up to wind around the man’s neck while the other reached for a handful of his shirt to pull the doctor on top of him.

“Allow me to take you to bed,” Youngjae whispered, his lips just barely brushing against Yugyeom’s with each word. He felt the man chuckle, and a hand brush against his cheek. Youngjae sucked in a breath when the man tilted his head to the side, the whole expanse of his neck presented to him.

“I take back what I said earlier,” he gasped as Youngjae sucked on the spot below his ear, “I reckon I prefer the more direct side of you.” The young man had to bite back groan when he moved lower, his breath tickling his neck. He peppered kisses down the column of the man’s throat, pausing to let out a low moan when Yugyeom arched up against him.

“Shall I carry you?” the doctor replied, muffling his laugh in Yugyeom’s shoulder.

“I’m no damsel,” Yugyeom huffed, bringing Youngjae back up for another kiss, and catching the doctor’s lower lip between his teeth as he pulled away seconds later.

“No, but any damsel would be right with envy at your legs,” he muttered in between biting and sucking marks into Yugyeom’s neck, deciding they had plenty of time for kisses later. It was intoxicating; the smell of chocolate and mint seemed rolled off the man in waves and flood his senses with every move he made. Daringly, Youngjae brought his hand slowly up Yugyeom’s side while he had the man distracted, brushing lightly against his skin and smiling when he felt Yugyeom shiver.

“My, have you been ogling, dearest?” the man teased, his voice wavering with every nip, bite, and touch. But not one to lie still, he hooked one of his legs around Youngjae’s hips to bring their bodies closer together, eliciting a moans from both of them. “Well?” he panted.

“Well,” Youngjae left one last mark on Yugyeom’s neck before rushing up to press their lips together, “I do believe that’s enough talking now.”

“Oh?” the young man raised a brow, a smirk decorating his face as he turned away from the kiss, much to Youngjae’s displeasure. He made up for it, however, when he rocked up against Youngjae, leaving open mouthed kisses against the older man’s neck. “And what do you propose we do now?”

“Let me make good on my word,” Youngjae breathed out, reluctantly lifting himself off of the younger man. He slide Yugyeom’s arm out from around his neck, but held it in his own as he shakily rose to his feet. He had no doubt he looked like an absolute mess of a man, but under Yugyeom’s heated stare, he couldn’t bring himself to care. With a light tug on the man’s arm, he urged the other to get up as well.

“As the master of the household wish,” Yugyeom laughed, letting Youngjae pull him up and up the stairs.

 

It was raining the next morning.

The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting his window roused Youngjae from sleep, and not from the usual  blinding light of the sun. Outside was a cool gray, darkened by clouds, casting minimal light through the window. Not closing the curtains the night before, for once, hadn’t come back to ruin the doctor’s morning. But it was a shame he was awake, as he desperately wished he could go back to sleep. He pulled the covers closer to him, wishing to keep the warmth surrounding him. That, unfortunately didn’t go over so well with his bed mate, who let out a small groan and tugged the blankets back.

Youngjae’s mind was still foggy, as cloudy as the sky, and didn’t put a fight, only sighed and turned over to press up against the other warm body in bed. With that, the doctor gradually slipped back into sleep.

 

He trailed a finger down Yugyeom’s exposed back, watching with mild fascination the involuntary shivers that ran through the sleeping man’s body. The blankets had drifted to lay messily over his lower half, presumably Youngjae’s fault when he got up. The doctor had awoke again to the sound of rain hours later; the sky hadn’t changed and the rain only seemed to have gotten harder compared to the earlier drizzle. The pocketwatch in his nightstand told him it was late morning, nearly noon, but with the sun hidden from view it felt much later. It was why he was still in bed, sat up and tracing patterns on Yugyeom’s back. The young man had moved to sleep on his stomach, hands underneath the pillow, head faced away from the doctor; completely unaware of Youngjae’s actions.

Youngjae traced words he no doubt muttered endlessly between kisses and gasps the night before, but in an uncharacteristic bout of possessiveness he drew them upon Yugyeom’s back; if he traced the same words over and over and over again, perhaps they’ll appear on his skin and the sun, the moon, the stars, and everyone would know Yugyeom was his and his alone. A bit of silly wishful thinking that brought a smile on the doctor’s face as he watched his lover sleep on, surely if he ever wrote on the man with anything other than a light touch, Yugyeom would end his very existence.

The room was cooler due to the rain, a welcome in the days of early summer. Deciding it was time to get up and do something other than sit in bed, Youngjae stretched his arms over his head and ran a hand through his hair. He tried to keep his movements to a minimum, not wanting to wake Yugyeom just yet. (One day he wasn’t going to give the man the luxury of sleeping in and have him wake the same time he did like a proper adult.) Youngjae stifled a yawn and pushed the covers off, barely containing a small shiver from the sudden cold. Almost knocking over a near empty vial of lavender oil, he glanced around the room, picking up a pair of trousers off the floor and pulling them on lest he fall temptation to his warm bed. He would deal with finding proper attire after he cleaned up, which included piling together all the things that required washing.

“Yugyeom,” he called out, rolling over to the man. Yugyeom’s few extra moments of sleep were over, decided by Youngjae who moved to whisper directly into the young man’s ear. “Yugyeom, it’s time to wake up,” he said, his nose in the man’s soft hair. He knew how much Yugyeom disliked being woken up in such a way, but as per usual, there were things Youngjae couldn’t help but do to the younger man. Yugyeom groaned and turned away, hiding away in the pillow. The doctor shook his head, a fond smile on his face, and tried again. “Yugyeom,” he muttered into the man’s shoulder, the warmth radiating from Yugyeom slowly causing him to get drowsy again. He didn’t receive a response, even when he lightly nipped at a purpling mark on Yugyeom’s neck. Sighing, he sat back up on the edge of the bed and huffed; Yugyeom had gotten better at ignoring Youngjae, especially when he was sleeping, it seemed.

“Alright,” the doctor said to himself, an idea coming to him. “Whether you like it or not, you have to get up!” He resisted the urge to cackle as he climbed up and over Yugyeom until he was knelt above the man, his knees on either side of Yugyeom’s own. Rolling his shoulders, he set his hands on the back of Yugyeom’s thighs and began to slowly massage, working his way up to the young man’s bottom. Yugyeom was ticklish—perhaps sensitive was a better word—so Youngjae hoped it would get a rise from him. And he wasn’t disappointed, almost immediately as the doctor began kneading the soft flesh of his rear, Yugyeom tensed up and jolted against the bed.

“Wha—” he groaned, kicking his legs and trying to look over his shoulder through squinted eyes. At that point Youngjae couldn’t keep it in and let himself laugh, but didn’t stop massaging. “Youngjae! Ge’off me!” Yugyeom’s voice was thick with sleep, his words slurred together. The young man began to buck underneath him, trying to get away from Youngjae’s hands and go back to sleep, but Youngjae wasn’t letting that happen. Instead, he crawled further up until he caged Yugyeom under him between his arms and legs, nearly chest to back as Youngjae hovered over him.

“Ah, ah,” he chided, “No going back to sleep! Come on sleepyhead, it’s time to get up.”

“G’way,” Yugyeom grumbled back, burrowing his face back into the pillow.

“And after I go through the trouble of trying to make you feel better? I was almost certain you’d be sor—” Youngjae was cut off by what sounded like a screech, and barely had enough time to sit back when Yugyeom turned himself around and swung a pillow in his direction. He laughed and threw his hands up before his face in defense, taking the hit when the man swung it round again.

“Good morning,” he smiled. Yugyeom had the pillow held to his chest, tiredly glaring over it at him. “With your hair in disarray like that,” Youngjae said, inching forward to brush the man’s hair with his fingers, “You kind of look like an angry kitten.”

“Yaong,” Yugyeom said flatly. Youngjae chuckled, patting down the man’s hair, almost in a petting manner. “Not quite as small and adorable, but I was never too fond of cats, anyway.”

“Nora won’t be pleased,” Yugyeom grumbled, pushing the doctor’s hand away to shake his head and ruffle up his hair himself.

“More fond of you than Nora,” Youngjae leaned forward to rub their noses together, his forehead coming to rest against Yugyeom’s in a gesture of affection. The man wrinkled his nose, and grimaced when Youngjae’s breathy laughter hit his face due to their closeness.

“Was there a reason you decided to wake me up, or did you just want to harass me?” Yugyeom hid his face in the pillow, hugging it closer to himself, no doubt to catch a few more minutes of sleep. The pillow did nothing to hide the bright red and purple bloomed over his neck and shoulders, like the flowers they picked in the early months of spring. Youngjae brought a hand up to touch one particular mark by his collarbone, remembering how Yugyeom seemed to favor the area the night before.

“Are you just going to stare?” He looked up to see Yugyeom peeking at him with one eye, his voice muffled by the the pillow.

“Sorry,” the doctor laughed. If Yugyeom were expecting an answered, he didn’t receive one. Instead Youngjae pushed the pillow down and with a hand under Yugyeom’s chin tipping his head up, he lay a soft kiss upon his lips.

“That’s not an answer either,” the young man said, but a smile pulled across his features nonetheless.

“I just wanted to do it, can you blame me?”

“I can, actually.”

“You’re definitely the difficult one betw—” Yugyeom cut him off with a kiss, harder than their previous one, and pulled away with a lick of the lips. He looked awfully pleased with himself at the dazed state he left Youngjae in, blinking owlishly and mouth slightly parted. Yugyeom snorted and scooted backward until his back hit the headboard, abandoning the pillow beside him to pull the covers higher up over his exposed body.

“Are you just going to gape at me?” The young man raised his foot to nudge Youngjae’s shoulder, jolting the doctor from his reverie.

“You’re just so enchanting!” Youngjae giggled after a moment, moving to sit alongside the edge of the bed again. Yugyeom scoffed. “But no, I wanted you to wake up so you could wash up before we have a late breakfast. It’s already quite late into the day, you sloth.”

“Excuse me? Is this how you treat all your bedmates, rouse them from peaceful slumber to tell them they’re dirty?” the man lamented, “I thought this was something special.”

“You’re the only one warming my bed, love. And the only one I’d ever want, I swear to you,” Youngjae grinned, leaning over to kiss Yugyeom’s frown away. He pinched his nose for good measure, resisting the urge to comment how endearing his blush was. (Of course, it also required a deal of willpower not to roll over and scream at how embarrassing his own actions were) “Go one while I gather the bedsheets to be cleaned later.”

“Why can’t you go first and allowed me to sleep,” Yugyeom whined.

“What kind of lover would I be if I didn’t offer first?” Youngjae teased, pulling him over.

“I was going to apologize for the scratches on your back, but now I hope they burn in the bath,” the young man grumbled back, shrugging out from under Youngjae’s arm and pulling the covers with him as he made his way to the door. Youngjae laughed, falling back onto the bed, listening to Yugyeom huff and puff all the way to the washroom before the door was shut; he closed his eyes and thought, _this is it_ , a wide smile adorning his lips.

 

 

 

Before long, the days became longer and much warmer, and thoughts of when autumn would arrive were the only things on Youngjae’s mind. Yugyeom hadn’t come to see him for a few days, having spent so much time with Youngjae and an equal amount of time in his home, he was needed back at his own. There were chores he couldn’t avoid anymore, someone he had to see, and Nora needed to be looked after was what he told him before he left, silencing the doctor with a press of the lips when he offered to help. He promised he be back within a few days time, teasing the man not to miss him too much.

Yugyeom had mentioned offhandedly one day they were laying on the floor of his study with the curtains drawn and surrounded by cups of water that he was glad to be there with Youngjae. The doctor couldn’t remember what he said after that, but whatever it was, Yugyeom had only rolled his eyes. It was hot that day, hence why they just lay on the floor doing nothing in particular. The young man had said something about not liking empty houses, and Youngjae asked him if he wanted to stay with him permanently. They then got into a silly fight about something or other before it was decidedly too hot to even speak. Youngjae hadn’t thought anything of it, but on the days Yugyeom was gone, he couldn’t help but wonder what he had meant.

He knew the man lived with someone, and assumed whoever they were did not spend too much time in their home. It only made sense with what Yugyeom told him that day, about empty houses, and then with his reason for returning home. He remembered how he smiled that day, brighter than the summer sun itself, and the hurried pace in which he practically ran out of his front door. Youngjae waved his wrist in front of him, watching the small metal charm dance in the sunlight, as if it could snap him out of his mood. Yugyeom had spent a great deal of time with him since their night together, staying over to the point Youngjae had gotten used to setting two sets of tableware out every day—it was only natural he was missing his lover. Despite that, in the back of his mind he wondered if Yugyeom only stayed with him because his own house was empty. Youngjae would rather not be considered an “alternative option,” even though realistically he knew Yugyeom wouldn’t; although he hasn’t admitted to it to him directly, there were times Youngjae woke up to his soft murmuring and quiet love confessions, listening to him talk until he fell asleep and then turning over to gather the man in his arms and whisper the same words back. And, he cared for Nora a great deal more than he let on and wouldn’t leave her alone too long without knowing someone was taking care of her.

In the end, Youngjae huffed as blew his hair from his eyes, he ran his own mind in circles thinking about simple things too hard. He didn’t remember life being so dull before.

He was about to retire to his bedroom with one of the novels he picked up off the floor when a knock caught him by surprise. The doctor wasn’t expecting anyone, nor did he forget to attend to any of his patients that day, so who could it be?

Youngjae made his way to the door, putting on the pair of glasses he kept by the door, and opened it before his visitor could knock again.

“Father Park?” he said, puzzled by the priest’s sudden appearance at his doorstep. The elder was dressed in his customary robes, long-sleeved and black, looking completely unbothered by the summer sun.

“Doctor Choi,” the priest smiled, bowing his head in greeting. Youngjae hurriedly did the same, nearly forgetting his manners, and stepped aside to invite the man in.

“Please, have a seat,” he offered, directing the man to the table. “Would you like something to drink? The heat is really something this year,” Youngjae continued.

“No, I’m alright thank you,” Father Park politely declined with a smile, settling down on one of the chairs and folding his hands in his lap as Youngjae fetched a glass for himself. The doctor paused, a hand hovering over another and looked back to his guest. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Doctor, I’m quite alright. But thank you for your hospitality.”

“Not at all,” Youngjae shook his head, sitting across the priest with his glass of water. “I hope you’ve been well.”

“I have, yes. The weather has been quite good as of late, don’t you think? It warms my heart to see everyone out enjoying themselves. The children have taken to carrying around little fans in the shape of animal heads, you really must see them all. But enough of that, how about yourself?” he asked, smiling pleasantly at Youngjae. It was a little jarring, if he had to admit, seeing the priest anywhere that wasn’t in town or in church. And in his home no less.

Regardless, he returned the smile and nodded, “I’ve been well, thank you.” The doctor took a pause to take a sip of water, and cleared his throat before asking why he had come to visit. The priest only laughed at the less than confident tone Youngjae took, and had the good grace not to comment on it when he answered.

“I’ve noticed you haven’t been to church for some time,” he said, the smile still on his face, “And wanted to come by to see that you haven’t left our little town. The young women have been making up stories, you know.”

“Ah,” Youngjae looked away in slight shame, rubbing the back of his neck, “My apologies, I’ve been somewhat preoccupied as of late.” He’d been prepared to deflect any questions about the mystery woman the townsfolk believed he was seeing, and tell the man he was often too tired after hours and hours of herb collecting (which was mostly true), unable to attend the weekly sermon. What he hadn’t been prepared for was the flicker of disbelief that passed through Father Park’s eyes, veiled by a cold mask of indifference. The smile hadn’t left the priest’s face, even when he moved his folded hands to the table, leaning forward in his seat. His expression didn’t hold the same warmth Youngjae knew the man for; the doctor resisted the urge to flinch, the hand around his glass tightening instinctively.  

“Preoccupied, of course,” Father Park repeated slowly. He nodded, glancing down at his clasped hands, seemingly unaware of how nervous Youngjae was becoming. “Doctor, do you remember…you once asked me about a man with the coloration of roses.”

Youngjae froze. He didn’t, that memory pushed to the back of his mind as something insignificant and easily forgotten. But as soon as the priest uttered the words, the image of Yugyeom flashed through his mind. He began to recall the conversation with Father Park, only vaguely, knowing it was before he and Yugyeom had formally met—it had been over a year ago!

“I..do,” he managed to say. The doctor willed himself calm, doing no good to be jittery for reasons he didn’t know for sure were there. Taking a sip of his water, he smiled up at the priest across from him. “Your memory is truly something, Father! That had been such a long time ago I had trouble figuring out what you were asking.”

A quick quirk of his lips was the only indication Youngjae received that the priest heard him.

“It seems you’ve found him.”

The sense of unease began to slowly creep back, Youngjae’s hand under the table clenching the fabric of his trousers. He did not respond.

“It was…quite startling to say the least, when I first saw him with you. I thought my eyesight had been failing me, but the color of roses….well, it would be hard to miss. Wouldn’t you agree, Doctor?”

“Yes…” The doctor was becoming more and more concerned with the way Father Park was acting, and his confusion only increased when he spoke of Yugyeom. The two had been careful, especially on Yugyeom’s part, to keep away from the eyes of the townspeople. He racked his brain for any possibilities they could have been careless or where someone could’ve seen them.

“Initially I had thought it was a passing event, that you only came across him because, despite my warning,” Father Park’s eyes met Youngjae’s, calm and composed, “Because you were simply curious. But then, imagine my surprise when I peer out the window to see the two of you stumbling around at daybreak.”

The doctor’s eyes widened. The glow from within the church windows hadn’t been a trick of the eyes; all those times they walked by, the priest had been there. If Father Park noticed Youngjae tense, he didn’t say. Instead, he continued, the smile not once having left his face.

“Like everyone else in our little town, I was sincerely happy for you when your mood suddenly brightened. That you had found a nice young woman to settle down with and begin a new chapter of your life,” the priest said, letting out a small laugh. “But it wasn’t a nice young woman, was it?”

Youngjae bit his tongue, resisting the urge to say it was them who made that rumor up, that it was of no one’s concern who he chose to love.

“What is this about, Father,” he asked carefully. He slowly unclenched his fist under the table, bringing it up to his other around his glass. It wouldn’t do to become angry.

“You’re a good man, Youngjae,” the doctor flinched at the use of his first name, something hardly anyone outside of his family and Yugyeom said, “From a good family who no doubt raised you well. So I come here as someone who cares for you and your future and…request you not see that man anymore.”

“Excuse me?” Youngjae’s head snapped up from staring at his hands, staring incredulously at the priest. His smile had gone, replaced with a thin line as he stared coolly back at the doctor. Youngjae couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, unable to form the proper words to question everything that was wrong with the situation.

“You cannot trust that man, he’s only ruining you—”

“I’m sorry, that is hardly any of your business!”

“He is manipulating you! That man is a danger—”

“How can you say such things abo—”

“—convincing you to sin, leading you astray! A good man like you deserves a woman and not—”

“Not _what_!”

“A _man!_ I know you wouldn’t fall to such things unless someone was controlling you, caught under his evil spell—”

“Please stop, I can’t listen to this any longer—”

“How can you explain how enamored you’ve been in such a short amount of time? Do you know anything about him? Where he came from, if he even _cares_ for you—”

“How dare you—”

“That man is wrong, a sinner, a creature bred from the darkness of the forest, breaking bread with Satan himself—”

“Father Park, that is enough!” Youngjae stood abruptly from his chair, hands clenched at his sides, barely contained anger painted on his reddening face. It felt like his whole body was shaking, ignited by the flame of rage, with every heavy breath he took as he stared down at someone he once held a great deal of respect for. The priest cleared his throat, caught off guard by Youngjae’s sudden exclamation. He leaned back in his seat and took a breath. If it weren’t for the red on his cheeks, he would’ve assumed Father Park hadn’t lost his composure at all. If it were a different time, the doctor might have applauded the older man for his cool demeanor, but know all he could think was how much he wanted the man to leave.

“You should go,” he finally said, as seconds passed and neither of them spoke. Youngjae was no less angry, appalled the man before him had the gall to say such things about himself and Yugyeom—the young man he’s sure the priest has never even met, so who is he to make such claims?!

The elder’s smile did not return, he narrowed his eyes and stood. “Perhaps it is best if I do.”

Youngjae walked him to the door, counting down the seconds the man would be gone from his home. He had nothing to say as he held the door open for the priest to walk out, only a curt bow. But before the doctor could close his door, Father Park turned around to him, a weary expression on his face.

“I hope you understand I mean no disrespect,” he said, and Youngjae resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The damage had already been done, but still he allowed the man to continue. “But you must realize, whatever feelings you have, the “love” you think it is, it is nothing but a lie. Do not be fooled. Break from his spell—”

“Good day, Father,” Youngjae all but hissed, interrupting before he could spout any more nonsense. The priest seemed unperturbed by the clear dismissal, but ever the gracious man, he smiled as he wish Youngjae the same.

It took a lot of willpower not to slam the door shut as the man walked away, smiling and bowing at everyone as if he hadn’t just insulted Youngjae in his own home. He rest his forehead on the door, closing his eyes and counting to ten, evening his breathing, to calm himself down. The man had absolutely no right in saying the things he did, invalidating his feelings as if he knew everything.

The doctor heaved a sigh, and pushed himself of the door, heading straight to his bedroom. He no longer wished to think about it, wanting to forget it more than anything. It was in those moments he wished Yugyeom were with him; to make him laugh, smile, cry, anything at all, just as long as he were there as a reminder of all the things that made him happy. A breeze came in through his window, turning the pages of the open notebook on his desk. It stopped on a page Youngjae recognized was written a few weeks ago while he and Yugyeom were out by the mountains looking for mugwort.

What had started as a typical entry on the environment, weather, and other notable plants, turned into childish drawings and equally silly descriptions of fictional things. Yugyeom had taken the book from his bag when they were taking a short rest under the shade of a large tree, frantically scribbling in what the doctor later found was a crude drawing of him with his sun hat and a frown on his face, but instead of his body it was that dog. Next to it were the words “Youngpuppy,” along with a short description of where it was found (in shady areas, typically indoors), its habits (whining and only repeating the words “too hot”), likes (jumping up and down, bothering Yugyeom, having its belly rubbed), and dislikes (heat, walking, being thirsty, running, physical activity). Underneath it, the doctor penned in his own..unique animal, after discovering his rather unflattering entry. He didn’t have dark red ink, Youngjae remembered crushing a berry and smearing the coloring into a shape that somewhat resembled hair, chuckling as he ran his finger over the now dried juices on the page. A “Kittyeom,” rose-like color and extremely fickle, that didn’t like much other than high places and sleeping, but on occasion would cuddle up to Youngjae. He didn’t get too far, Yugyeom having pulled him toward a nearby creek and insisted they at least dip their feet to cool off.

He smiled to himself, tracing over the words. Perhaps one day he’ll finish writing it and show Yugyeom, just to see his reaction. The doctor felt a little more at ease then, the tension seeping out of his body. He looked out his window, where the sun still remained high in the sky. There was still too much time left in the day, and unfortunately Youngjae didn’t have it in him to do much else. Forgetting his previous plan of reading, he shooed the crow that had been sitting on his windowsill, and drew his curtains.

He would sleep, sleep away the unpleasant feeling forming in his chest as he remembered the priest’s last words to him.

 

When Youngjae woke, the sun had already set. The sky was dyed a myriad of cool hues replacing the warm oranges and reds with the purples and blues of the night sky. Thankfully, it wasn’t as hot as it was earlier. He stretched, pulling his arms above his head, and wondered if he should bother with his evening routine of preparing supper and washing up before bed on account he slept away most of his day already. At the very least, he was calmer than he had been.

The doctor sighed and rubbed his growling stomach, perhaps food was a good idea. Sluggish, he shuffled out the door and downstairs, all his effort put in trying to figure out what he had left in his cupboards. The light from outside was enough for him to safely navigate through his house, but reaching the foot of the stairs, he hadn’t remembered lighting any candles in the kitchen before he went to bed earlier. In his inattentive state, he missed the figure curled up in the armchair staring out the window when he walked past.

Deciding on something simple consisting of bread and jam, Youngjae wasn’t expecting to see something already cooking on the stove. The smell made his mouth water instantly, and the closer he moved to the pan the hungrier he became. But before he could lift the cover to see what was cooking, two arms wrapped themselves around his waist and a head came to rest on his shoulder. Breathing in the familiar scent of mint and chocolate, he knocked his head against Yugyeom’s, leaning into the embrace.

“What a pleasant surprise,” he murmured, nosing the man’s hair, as if making sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“Me or the food?” was the muffled response.

“Ooh, tough question. May I abstain?” A pinch to the stomach showed that no, he may not abstain. Or possibly that his answer wasn’t satisfactory, one of the two. Youngjae just slapped at the arms around his middle and reached for the cover again, hunger getting the best of him.

“It’s glass noodles,” Yugyeom said, finally lifting his head and instead resting his chin on Youngjae’s shoulder. He waddled behind the doctor as he made his way closer to the pan.

“I had some?”

“Of course not,” Yugyeom snorted. “All you have is rice and rice and even more rice. I figured you would want something else. I left some in your pantry.”

“You’d make the perfect housewife,” he joked, but his laughter quickly turned into a noise of surprise when he leaned back into nothing, nearly falling over backward. The doctor turned around to face a displeased Yugyeom, standing a distance away from him with his arms crossed over his chest, hip cocked to the side.

“Aw Yugyeom,” Youngjae laughed, a hand reached out to tug at Yugyeom’s arms. The young man didn’t budge, huffing and turning away. “You know what I mean,” he tried again, a quick glance to make sure the flames of the stove weren’t going to consume his whole house, and stepped into Yugyeom’s space. He tried to catch the man’s eyes, tilting his head to-and-fro and until he decided to hold Yugyeom’s face in place with his hands. The pout was still present, but the man’s eyes glittered with amusement. “House…husband, then?” Youngjae grinned, pulling Yugyeom close enough to affectionately rub their noses together.

“A valiant effort,” the young man rolled his eyes. Youngjae grinned. “We are not married.”

“Perhaps someday we shall be,” the doctor mused, letting his hands drop to Yugyeom’s hips and pulling him close until their bodies were flush against one another. It was enough to get Yugyeom to uncross his arms and loosely wind them around his shoulders.

“Ah, that’s wishful thinking,” Yugyeom said softly, but smiled nonetheless. Youngjae too was aware the reality, the chance that they really could…but looking up at Yugyeom, he knew he wouldn’t want anyone else beside him.

“What?” the young man asked, gently knocking their foreheads together for Youngjae’s attention.

“Nothing at all,” he said with a grin. Yugyeom scoffed, muttering a quiet “of course,” and unwound his arms from around the doctor to place them on his shoulders. “Come on, you must be hungry,” he said, pushing the doctor off him, but to no avail.

“Youngjae, do you know how long I spent soaking this noodles before I could cook them,” he whined, slapping the older man’s shoulder to try to make him let go. “I know you’re hungry!” Yugyeom groaned, letting his head fall back while he pinched the bridge of his nose. Youngjae hummed into the man’s neck, closing his eyes, ready to fall back asleep on Yugyeom’s shoulder. Silence followed, and the doctor assumed his petulant little lover had given up trying to move him. He was about to concede, quickly kiss the man and finally attend to his rumbling stomach, when he felt Yugyeom’s breath tickling his ear.

“Unless..” he whispered, his voice low, sending a shiver down Youngjae’s back. “It is a different hunger you wish to satisfy?”

The doctor’s eyes immediately shot open, his heart nearly stopping. He felt Yugyeom bite down lightly on his earlobe and pull, releasing it just as quickly. Youngjae couldn’t tell if the room had become warmer or if it were because they were so close; he released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he finally looked up at Yugyeom. Yugyeom, his lovely Yugyeom, looking at him with half lidded eyes and glistening pink lips parted in silent invitation. His eyes flickered from the man’s lips to his dark eyes, biting on his own lower lip when Yugyeom tilted his head to the side. Youngjae smiled, throwing caution to the wind, and leaned forward.

Only to be met with nothing; Yugyeom had moved his head at the last moment, removing himself from Youngjae’s loosened grasp and walking over to the stove. “Can you get the plates, please?” he asked nonchalantly, lifting the cover off the pan and recoiling when the steam rushed out.

The doctor stared open mouthed at him, disbelief passing through his body at what had just occurred. “Yugyeommmmmm,” he whined, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. “How could you be so cruel,” Youngjae pouted. He stepped behind the man, quickly hitting his back and sprinting away to where he kept the dishes before Yugyeom could turn around.

“I wasn’t too fond of the thought of simply standing there while you slept on me, especially when I went through the trouble of preparing this,” Yugyeom gestured to the pan of steaming noodles. “Did you think I was going to kiss you? I know you recently woke up.”

“That hasn’t stopped you before,” the doctor grumbled, pulling two plates from his cupboard and setting them on the table. He passed Yugyeom as he went to get the utensils, sticking his tongue out at the taller man as he did.

“Oh come off it,” Yugyeom rolled his eyes, setting the pan down. “I missed you,” he added quietly. He didn’t look up as he distributed the noodles to the plates, but the dust of pink on his cheeks did not go unnoticed.

Youngjae felt himself forget the conversation he had with Father Park, all the anger and unease gone from his mind, replaced with a warmth and lightness from hearing Yugyeom say those three words. He found himself smiling, and catching Yugyeom in a tight embrace from behind, he whispered, “I’ve missed you as well. Try not to leave me again, hm?”

The young man laughed, “Only if you can promise me the same.”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with you.”

A groan.

“Some day you’ll come to appreciate my romantic gestures, and they’ll sweep you off your feet.”

“But not today.”

“Some day,” Youngjae dropped a kiss to the man’s shoulder and released him. “For now, I’m starving. Can we eat now?”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just ask that.”

 

 

 

The two were in the forest again, Youngjae sat at the base of a tree while Yugyeom sat atop its branches, dropping leaves and the the honeysuckles he could reach into the doctor’s lap. Nora had made her appearance briefly, circling by the doctor’s feet before dashing off when Yugyeom decided to shower her with leaves instead. Several crows took the feline’s spot, landing in a flurry of feathers and scattering to different ends of the forest when Youngjae kicked his feet. (The young man had dropped a small branch on his head when he did). They sat in moderate silence, breaking it every so often with silly questions and comfortable conversation. At one point Youngjae tried to scale the tree, to which Yugyeom firmly said no and threatened his livelihood if he tried. Needless to say, the doctor stayed on the ground.

 

“Yugyeom?” he called out, looking up for the man.

“Yes?” Yugyeom was plucking the leaves off a small branch, dropping them to his side with no care for where they landed. Youngjae wrinkled his nose when one landed on his face. The noise was calming, in a way, slow and monotonous.

“Will you be coming back with me tonight?”

“Would you like me to?” he answered, without missing a beat or pausing in his leaf pulling.

“I would be offended if you think I wouldn’t,” the doctor said. Yugyeom peered over, putting the branch down in his lap, and smiled down at him.

“I would love to, but,” he said, Youngjae’s smile faltering as he continued. “I have my own home to go back to. I can’t keep lounging about in yours,” he giggled.

“You say that as if I mind that you do,” Youngjae countered. “My dreams would come true if you stayed with me for all eternity.”

Yugyeom hummed, nodding along. “I don’t doubt that. Truthfully I wouldn’t mind waking up next to you every morning, even if pester me to no end to wake up for who knows why,” he said, pausing while Youngjae laughed. “But if I were to stay with you, what would I do when you leave?”

“You needn’t confine yourself to my home, you could very well wander around town, or—”

“Youngjae,” he sighed, sounding tired as if he were talking to a child. The doctor closed his mouth, remembering Yugyeom’s particular feelings about being seen. He’d never questioned it much, nodded in understanding when he was first told and went along with his wishes, but so much time had passed since then; Youngjae still didn’t know why aside from a few vague words. “Please.”

The doctor wasn’t angry, he doubt he could ever truly be mad at Yugyeom, but he was unsettled by the man’s subtle refusal to answer his questions or at the very least give him a reasonable explanation. The words Father Park had spoke to him not more than two weeks ago coming to mind, _do you know anything about him?_ How much did he really know about Yugyeom? Questions about where he lived, whom he lived with, his apprehension of the town, all left unanswered. Youngjae respected it, that perhaps Yugyeom did not wish to speak of it, but the conversation with the priest weigh heavily on his mind as of late. But was it worth playing ignorant fool while Youngjae himself had readily told him everything? Everyone had their secrets, but to keep them, especially over such simple things, from one’s own lover? Youngjae would not deny he was hurt.

“—jae, Youngjae?” Lost in his thoughts, the doctor hadn’t noticed that Yugyeom dropped down from the tree and was knelt before him, face only centimeters from his own. He widened his eyes in surprise and pressed himself to the trunk of the tree out of instinct.

“…Youngjae?” the young man repeated, immediately moving so they were just as close again. His big brown eyes searching his, looking at him with such worry and affection that Youngjae couldn’t believe he doubted Yugyeom. There was no faking the emotion swimming in the man’s eyes as he looked over Youngjae, his brows furrowed and lips pulled into a frown—he could barely hear the man’s questions over the sound of his heart beating in his ears. Everyone had their secrets, but hadn’t he promised to tell him? Yugyeom had said it himself, that he wished he could take Youngjae home, and someday he would. And Youngjae would wait, of course he would wait for the man to reveal everything he had on his own time. There was no rush, something the doctor admittedly forgot, they had time. There were of course things he didn’t know about the man and things Youngjae hadn’t told him, but…watching the young man fret over him and the worry etched in his face, he couldn’t help but smile.

“You…you!” Yugyeom stuttered, blinking back in surprise when the once blank expression on Youngjae’s face turned into a smile. His face was flushed red, teeth worrying his bottom lip, as his eyes flashed with relief, and then anger. “You idiot!” he shouted, slapping Youngjae’s chest once, and then again and again. “Don’t you ever do that again, was that your idea of a joke?”

The doctor laughed, loud and without abandon, his mouth open wide and eyes nearly closed, the more flustered Yugyeom became. He caught the man’s wrists before he could do any more damage to his chest, and pulled the young man forward until he was sprawled over his lap, face first into his chest. The doctor didn’t allow for Yugyeom to move before he wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, keeping him in place.

“Youngjae, what are you—” his lover whined into his chest, trying to push himself off while Youngjae only buried his face in the man’s hair, a wide smile on his face. Yugyeom of course didn’t know what had gone through Youngjae’s head, left confused and bewildered by the older man’s sudden actions.

“You,” he said. Yugyeom stopped struggling, so Youngjae continued. “You are so incredibly precious to me. Did you know that?”

He felt the man relax in his hold, and arms go around his back, clutching the back of his shirt. “Don’t do that again,” Yugyeom mumbled. Youngjae couldn’t see his face, but there was no doubt from his tone the man was pouting.

“Were you worried?” he teased, easing his hold on the man so Yugyeom could look up at him properly. As expected, the young man was less than amused. He stared up at the doctor with those bright eyes of his, a frown gracing his pretty pink lips—it would have been so easy to just lean down and steal a kiss, but instead Youngjae rubbed their noses together, pulling a quiet giggle from Yugyeom.

“I mean it,” he said. The young man’s frown gradually faded into a shy smile, eyes downcast to avoid looking into Youngjae’s as he pulled himself a little higher. “No matter what, you are the most important in my heart. I lo—” He didn’t get to finish, Yugyeom having surged up to capture his lips in a sudden kiss. Their mouths moved together, soft and languid, conveying all the affection, the warmth, the tenderness, and all the love that simple words could not.

“I know,” Yugyeom whispered when they broke apart, letting his forehead fall against Youngjae’s. “I do, too.” The doctor sighed happily, moving to brush his lips across Yugyeom’s forehead. He heard the young man laugh before he lift himself off the doctor, to adjust his position so he sat sideways between Youngjae’s legs.

“Did you hear a word I said earlier?” Yugyeom asked, settled comfortably against the doctor’s chest, the mood shifting to something lighter. He tugged on Youngjae’s bracelet, moving the hand thrown loosely around his middle. Youngjae hummed, carding his fingers through Yugyeom’s hair, watching the strands fall softly atop one another.

“Just my name. Was it important?” He resisted the urge to comment that his name was also important.

“No, not anymore.” The young man let his hand drop in favor of cupping his cheek so that he face Yugyeom. Youngjae leaned into the hand, closing his eyes when Yugyeom ran a thumb over his cheek. “I change my mind.”

“Hm?”

“I will go back with you.” The doctor’s eyes snapped open, staring at the younger man, pleasantly surprised. Yugyeom rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he smiled. With the hand still on Youngjae’s cheek, he pinched the man, “And next time, pay attention to me.”

Youngjae flinched away from the offending hand, rubbing his cheek and pouting at the man. “Uncalled for!” he whined. Yugyeom only grinned and set his head on the doctor’s shoulder. “Brat,” he muttered, but brought his arms around Yugyeom, tugging him closer.

“Old man,” Yugyeom chirped back.

“On second thought, you can go home and leave me to lick my wounds in peace,” Youngjae huffed.

“You don’t mean that,” Yugyeom yawned, shifting he lay lower against Youngjae’s body, and closed his eyes.

“And if I do?”

“Then I’ll go home.”

“You were supposed to say “Oh no, I’m sorry Youngjae, please let me go with you!”

“Oh no, I’m sorry Youngjae, please let me go with you!”

“Why do I feel like I’ve lost somehow?”

“Mhmm.”

“Yugyeom?”

“Hush now, nap with me.”

Youngjae rolled his eyes, of course Yugyeom would want to sleep. Nevertheless he closed his eyes and leaned back his head, complying with the request.

“I expect you to take full responsibility if I wake up with any bites,” he added.

“I’ll show you a bite if you don’t be quiet,” Yugyeom mumbled back, by the sound of it halfway to sleep already.

“That’s a promise the—ow! Stop pinching me!”

 

Later on, long after the hours of day passed, Youngjae sat awake running his fingers across the bite mark Yugyeom left on his shoulder not long ago. He silently cursed his past self for saying anything when they were in the forest. It hadn’t hurt at the time; Youngjae had hardly noticed it, preoccupied with drawing out every moan and whimper he could from his bashful lover. Bites, marks, bruises, all were given and repaid in kind throughout the night, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he missed any. He looked over at the sleeping man beside him, brushing the damp hair from his forehead Youngjae leaned over to press a light kiss to his cheek. Yugyeom sighed in his sleep, shifting to lay on his side, a blissful smile on his face. The doctor matched it with one of his own, before laying back down and pulling the covers over both their bodies.

Despite how much he wished he could pinch the younger man’s nose for bruising bite on his shoulder, Youngjae couldn’t bring himself to do such a thing—afterall, petty revenge was more Yugyeom’s territory than his.

 

 

 

Weeks passed, time watching people carry out their daily lives, withstanding the summer rains and enduring the heat as they bustled about. Despite all that, Youngjae felt the future looked rather bleak.

“You’re the bleak one,” Yugyeom said.

“You don’t understand! My autumn will be overcome by heat, tainting it into an…an extended summer!” he wailed, sniffling as he bit into his sandwich. Youngjae had prepared them beforehand, packing lunch neatly into a basket and surprising Yugyeom when he arrived at the clearing.

The young man rolled his eyes, recognizing the moment as one he should let Youngjae ramble on. He bit into his own sandwich, nodding and occasionally making a sound of agreement while Youngjae continued to complain about the seasons. Above them, the sky was gray, clouds low and dark looming across the earth. A bird’s caw was heard in the distance. Yugyeom stared up, the slight breeze ruffling his hair as he continued to nod along to Youngjae’s complaints.

“And my clothing sticks to me like a seco—are you listening to me?” the doctor asked, pausing in his rant when he finally noticed Yugyeom’s lack of response.

“Not entirely,” he answered honestly. “Something about bursting into flames whilst walking home?”

“Oh ha, ha, very funny,” Youngjae said, pushing the man’s shoulder over the basket. “I didn’t realize my suffering was so unimportant to you.”

“Not _unimportant_ ,” Yugyeom replied, brushing off the look of disbelief Youngjae sent his way. “It amuses me.”

“Well what a relief that my pain brings you such joy!” the doctor exclaimed, sarcasm dripping off every word. Yugyeom hid his laugh in another bite of his sandwich, watch Youngjae wave his arms around and practically roll his eyes halfway to the skies. “My life’s goal, to make your majesty Yugyeom laugh, absolutely fulfilling!”

Yugyeom didn’t bother with masking his laughter the more Youngjae spoke, laughing freely and throwing his head back with every outrageous claim. “Is this amusing you, my dear? Or will I have to work harder, perhaps I’ll fall and not find myself able to rise again!”

“Youngjae!” Yugyeom said between breathes, finding it difficult to say anything without another giggle bubbling from his throat, “Please, stop!”

“Oh, I can’t hear a thing over this melodious sound,” the doctor moaned, quickly removing the basket from between them to scoot over until their thighs touch. “For the sake of Yugyeom’s amusement,” he said, and grabbed the man’s arm while he continued to laugh, forcibly pulling it to his chest as he let himself fall backward to the ground with Yugyeom on top of him. “I fall!”

“Youngjae!” “Yugyeom!” They shouted over each other, before Youngjae burst into a fit of giggles. The young man only stared incredulously down at him, a mixture of horror and confusion on his face. Only when the doctor began to tease him did Yugyeom give in, a few chuckles escaping him.

“You’re impossible,” he snickered, shaking his head. The man’s bangs tickled Youngjae’s forehead, adding to the reasons why he laughed.

“And you,” Youngjae said, taking a few breathes and reaching up to thumb across the crescent shape of Yugyeoms eyes, sparkling like they always did for as long as Youngjae had known him. “You’re the moon.”

He smiled as Yugyeom shyly ducked his head down, biting his lip down to keep from smiling himself. Youngjae craned his neck to kiss the man’s forehead, resting back down in time to catch a hint of red crawling up the Yugyeom’s neck. But, Youngjae was not quite done.

“…Your face is so big and bright,” he continued, only to burst out laughing once more, unable to keep his expression calm. The sound quickly filling the silence and drowning out Yugyeom’s embarrassed splutters. He rolled out from under the young man before he could strike him, scrambling to his feet when he was a safe enough distance away.

“Revenge is sweet,” he shouted, dodging Yugyeom’s outstretched arms.

 

“It looks it will rain soon,” the doctor said, staring at the dark clouds hovering over them.

“So you won’t have to worry about bursting into flames,” the young man quipped back.

“How witty, please do tell another,” Youngjae said flatly. Yugyeom grinned over at him and bumped their shoulders together, finding it fairly simple to bring the doctor’s smile back. “Excuse me,” he said, “I’m trying very hard to be displeased with you.”

“And how is that working for you?” Yugyeom crooned, leaning over to rest his chin on Youngjae’s shoulders and wrapping his arms around the elder man’s waist in a side hug. He rolled his eyes, but there was little to no fight in preventing the small smile from appearing on his face. Youngjae turned his head to lay a kiss at the corner of Yugyeom’s eye, the only place he could reach without stretching his neck too far, nuzzling the side of the young man’s face when his light giggles flittered through the air.

“I take that as a “not well?” Yugyeom asked, leaning forward to press their lips together in a chaste kiss.

“You make if very difficult,” Youngjae murmured, suddenly fixated on Yugyeom’s mouth as he chased for another kiss. The young man obliged, tilting his head to meet Youngjae, and sighed in content as Youngjae turned in his embrace and reached a hand up to cup the back of Yugyeom’s neck. Breaking apart only when the need for oxygen became too great, Youngjae took the opportunity to pepper light kisses all over he young man’s face, grabbing hold of his cheeks when Yugyeom tried to squirm away.

“Youngjae, stop! You’re getting your saliva all over me!” the young man squealed, trying to push Youngjae’s face away from his own, not expecting the sudden onslaught of kisses.

“Not a chance,” he said with glee, diving in to land a particularly wet kiss to the side of Yugyeom’s mouth, drawing a disgusted groan from the man. “Don’t you want me to no longer be displeased with you?” Youngjae continued to kiss Yugyeom, on both his eyelids, nose, beauty mark, cheeks, everywhere he could reach whilst dodging his hands and eventually causing Yugyeom to giggle.

“Isn’t that a tad excessive,” the man said when he eventually got Youngjae to sit back and leave him to wipe at his face with the corner of his cloak.

“You adore it,” the doctor preened, his eyes flashed mischievously as if daring Yugyeom to retaliate. To which Yugyeom scoffed and lightly shoved at his shoulder.

“Now, now, don’t pout or I’ll have to do something about that, my moon faced love,” Youngjae teased, tapping the tip of the young man’s nose, taking delight in the way Yugyeom’s eyes lit up, as if a flame was ignited.

“You are treading dangerous waters, Youngjae,” he muttered darkly, unamused by the new nickname.

“You can exact your revenge on me later,” Youngjae said, standing up and stretching his arms over his head. He picked up the basket and extended a hand out to Yugyeom, pulling the man up when he placed his hand in his. “Though I ask you to refrain from biting me, my shoulder ached for days!”

“I know, you wouldn’t stop complaining for days,” Yugyeom recalled, lacing their fingers together. “You never heard me complain about my aches and sores.”

“Only because I take such good care of you,” Youngjae said as he brought their joined hands up to his mouth, pressing his lips to the back of Yugyeom’s hand. The young man rolled his eyes, but allowed Youngjae to do as he pleased and followed behind him as they started walking back to the town.

“Is that your ego talking?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he hummed, swing their hands back and forth. Yugyeom stifled a laugh behind his hand, rolling his eyes fondly, as the two continued their way back still bickering as they went.

The winds around them picked up, the young man’s cloak pulled and twisted in every which way behind him and the trees around them bent and waved, the leaves rustling and drowning out any further conversation.

“We should hurry,” Yugyeom whispered to him, pressed up against the doctor’s side. Youngjae only nodded, not too keen on staying outdoors when there looked to be a heavy storm coming. With one last thoughtful look to the sky, Yugyeom pulled on his hood as Youngjae tugged on his hand to follow, eager to get home.

Rain hadn’t fallen yet, but the rumbling from the skies told them it would be soon. They quickened their pace to a light sprint as the first few raindrops dotted the dirt path, coloring the ground in a dark brown more and more the faster they went. Yugyeom had begun to laugh when the wind tore off his hood and brushed his hair back, the sprinkles of rain hitting his face. It wasn’t so strange, that a child of the forest welcome the natural elements of their world like an old friend. Listening to the young man’s happy giggles Youngjae couldn’t help but wonder how many times Yugyeom had been out in the rain before. His lips curving upward into a smile despite the rain pelting against his face, he imagined the young man running through the forest, dancing in the rain with Nora or an imaginary partner, or perhaps in moments like that he stood still with his face tilted up and let the rain wash over him listening to the sound of silence. As he looked over to Yugyeom, who had a hand stretched out to catch the rain in his palm, Youngjae wondered what was so fascinating.

His hair stuck to his forehead and his clothes began to become heavy with water, but instead of breaking into a run like he should have, he slowed into a stop, nearly getting knocked over by Yugyeom whom didn’t realize Youngjae was standing still.

“Youngjae? Why did we stop?”

“Tell me,” he said, turning to face Yugyeom. Like himself, Yugyeom’s hair stuck to his face, once rose colored strands a dark maroon plastered against his forehead and cheeks. Raindrops clung to his eyelashes, dripping down his face with every blink. He stared down at the doctor, unbothered. Their hands were still clasped together, rain slipping in between their fingers and palms, but neither one of them wanted to let go. “What’s so great about the rain?”

Half expecting Yugyeom to give him a strange look and tell him to stop being stupid, he wasn’t prepared for him to start laughing. “You couldn’t wait for us to be inside to ask me that?”

“That…may have been smarter,” Youngjae replied, shifting around in his shoes, inwardly grimacing at his incredibly soaked socks. He wasn’t thinking, something he found to happen a lot around Yugyeom.

“As long as you don’t get sick later on,” Yugyeom teased, eyes dancing with mirth, “I can indulge you with this. Have you heard the poem that goes “sweet April showers/do spring May flowers?”

“Yes, vaguely,” the doctor said. He brought his free hand over his eyes, barely able to see Yugyeom with the rain in his eyes. “But it isn’t April, nor is it May.”

“Yes, of course,” Yugyeom chuckled, looking down at their feet almost bashfully, “But I enjoy the idea behind it. That the rain makes way for something new and wonderful. Like, it washes the old away so new can grow.”

Youngjae crinkled his nose. “It’s just liquid,” he said. “But I understand, it’s a rather positive view on things. I myself never cared for the rain much.”

“Yet, here you stand.”

“Very true,” the doctor made a small noise of amusement, pushing his wet hair back.

“Perhaps I can change your mind then?” Yugyeom smirked when Youngjae quirked a brow at him. He shook his hand free from the doctor’s, sliding up to rest above his heart while his other hand went into the doctor’s hair, fisting the wet strands gently. The man paused centimeters from Youngjae’s lips, catching his widened eyes and winked, before slotting his mouth over Youngjae’s in a deep kiss.

Youngjae stood in shock, not reacting at first, not until Yugyeom made a small noise of frustration in the back of his throat and pull on his hair did he return the passion. The low moan the young man let out when Youngjae pressed himself closer, lips moving against Yugyeom’s and hands going up to rest at the small of his back, only spurred the doctor on. The feeling was different; the sound of the rain falling around them was soothing and rhythmic, and he should have felt cold standing there as the wind blew, but kissing Yugyeom, holding him, Youngjae felt warm as if he were laying in bed under the covers.

“Do you have a slightly better appreciation now?” Yugyeom smiled at him, breathless. His fingers untangled themselves from Youngjae’s hair, moving to rest on his shoulder. Youngjae himself was still a little starry-eyed at his lover, captivated by how absolutely bright he shone.

“One more time?” he whispered in a small voice, as if he were afraid it was all a dream and he’d wake up to nothing. Yugyeom’s eyes crinkled up into little crescents as he giggled, lips pulled into a wide smile as he took Youngjae’s hand again and kissing his forehead, rather than where Youngjae wanted him to. “When we get inside,” he said, “Your hands are freezing!”

“Who’s fault is that?” the doctor said, resuming their trek back.

“Yours, if I recall,” Yugyeom answered cheekily. “It was apparently so very important you find out why I like the rain!”

“Ah…so it was. You’ll have to refresh my memory what exactly happened, it appears I’m a bit…dazed.”

“Well if you ask nicely, I’m sure I can help you with that.”

(Youngjae wouldn’t notice until later he let go of the basket, leaving it lost in the woods taken by the wind.)

 

The large clocktower peeked out from just beyond the trees ahead of them. The two had run the rest of the way, splashing in puddles and ducking under trees, they ran and laughed like little children, hands held together to whole way. His mother told him once that running in the rain only caused you to become more wet, and walking was much safer. But what his mother didn’t know would save him from a scolding, he thought absentmindedly as he slowed into a slight jog. The rain wasn’t as heavy as it had been before, but enough to blur the short path ahead of them.

They were almost there, when suddenly a dark mass darted toward them, running around Yugyeom’s feet.

“Nora!” he heard the man exclaim, hand pulling away from his. “What are you doing out, you silly cat?” Yugyeom fussed, sounding irritated, but the way he was knelt down in an instant shielding her from the rain with his damp cloak Youngjae knew better. It was strange, why she came from the direction of the town, more than what the feline had been doing out in the first place.

Nora’s tail was restless, twitching every which way as were her ears, as if she were nervous. Youngjae assumed it was from being out in the rain, and Yugyeom must’ve assumed the same as he cooed quiet words of safety to her while running hand down her back. The doctor sniffled, loud enough for Yugyeom to hear and send him an apologetic glance. Nora, as per usual, didn’t care for Youngjae’s feelings, and rather than let the young man carry her in his arms, she butt her head against his leg. She was so insistent, repeating the action multiple times, and went as far as to pull on his pant leg with her teeth. Yugyeom looked up to Youngjae in confusion, but he hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on either.

“Nora, what’s wrong, why do you want me to go?” he asked. The cat only meowed, looking at Youngjae before turning its gaze back to its owner. “Wha—” Her ears twitched again, and Yugyeom stilled. The doctor looked on, increasingly more confused and was about to say something when he heard voices coming toward them.

“Youngjae.” He looked back to Yugyeom, taken aback but the sudden pained expression on his face.  He was no longer knelt on the ground, Nora wound protectively around his legs. He was hunched over himself, like he was purposefully trying to make himself smaller, and gone was the grin from earlier. Like a scared child his eyes darted from Youngjae to the path of the town, back and forth, back and forth; it was making Youngjae quite scared for him as well. “I need to go, I can’t, I’m so—”

“Yugyeom, what’s wrong? What’s happened? Are you alri—” he tried to reach out for the man, to figure out what was wrong and why he’s suddenly so _scared_ , but Yugyeom did not him allow him the chance. One moment he was there, pleading to Youngjae about something, and the next he had his arms around the doctor in a tight embrace before he pulled back to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll explain next time, I’m sorry.” And then, he ran.

“Yugyeom!” he shouted into the rain, about to run after him, but a hand on his arm stopped him. Looking back, Youngjae’s eyes widened in shock as he stared into the face of Father Park. “What?” he uttered, disbelief washing over his features.

“Go! Don’t let him get away!” the priest shouted to a group of men Youngjae hadn’t noticed before behind them. In the rain they all looked the same, older men with hard expressions. He couldn’t hear what they were shouting over the sound of blood rushing in his ears, becoming more frantic and confused by the second. Why did Yugyeom leave? Why was Father Park there? Were they going after Yugyeom? Just what was happening?!

The hand on his arm loosened some, but not enough for him to pull free.

“Doctor, are you alright?” Father Park spoke, looking over the doctor with some concern in his dark eyes. Youngjae didn’t know how to answer, the last time they had spoken did not end so well, and then he suddenly appeared asking if he was alright? Right after Yugyeom had ran off? He truthfully didn’t know.

“Of course the boy isn’t,” a new voice joined in. “Who knows what that vile thing did to him!”

“Mr…Heo?” Youngjae said weakly. Said man looked toward him, a soft smile on his aged face. He felt ill.

“Hello, doctor,” Mr. Heo said. Again, Youngjae didn’t respond. The two older man fell into a quiet conversation with one another, leaving him with his thoughts. The Father hadn’t let go of his arm, so there was no way for him to try and find Yugyeom, or even go home. He did not, could not rather, understand what was happening. Everything was fine, more than fine! He and Yugyeom were good, they were happy, running through the rain together with promises of warm tea and even warmer kisses when they reached home. But then…It had all turned so terribly so quickly Youngjae’s mind had yet to catch up.

The three stood in the rain, two waiting for the others they were with to return, and one simply wishing he were elsewhere.

“Father!” a voice called out. The doctor looked up, half in fear they had Yugyeom with them, half in hopes they had come back with nothing. Mr. Heo was a little more impatient with his reaction, about to run forward to meet him if not for Father Park holding an arm out before him.

“What is it?” Father Park shouted back.

“Do they have him?” Mr. Heo asked him, lowering the priest’s arm with his hand, assuring him he wasn’t going to run toward the group. Father Park shook his head, he didn’t know. Youngjae held his breath, praying that they weren’t speaking about Yugyeom. It couldn’t be Yugyeom, it couldn’t, he repeated in his head like a mantra. The doctor knew how Father Park felt about Yugyeom, but it wasn’t possible that he would go as far as to go after him. It wasn’t.

There was no response from the other group, nothing except the sound of the rain. Youngjae was cold, but he couldn’t feel anything, numb. Father Park and Mr. Heo were dressed in cloaks, as were the other men that came with them; they were prepared for it.

“Were you following me?” Youngjae asked. His head was bowed, looking down blankly, his eyes watching the rain drops that fell from his hair to the ground. He had given up trying to get out of Father Park’s hold, his arm laying limp to his side. There was no response, but the doctor didn’t know if he wanted to know at all.

There was only more silence, until a sharp cry pierced through the air.

“Yugyeom!” Youngjae shouted, snapping up at the noise. He struggled to move forward, to break free from the priest’s grasp but the older man had an iron grip he couldn’t get out of. “Let me go!” he begged, “Yugyeom!”

“Doctor, calm yourself!” It wasn’t Father Park that spoke, but Mr. Heo. The elderly man had a stern look upon his face, placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling him back. “You can’t let him get to you!”

And then to Father Park, “Shouldn’t we send him back? He should not be here!”

“No, we don’t know how strong of a hold he has on him, he may try and help him escape,” the priest spoke calmly. He hadn’t torn his gaze from the forest ahead of him, watching carefully for the other townsmen to return.

“What is going on, Father?” Youngjae demanded to know, shaking his arm in an attempt to get free. The priest cast him a glance, not bothered by the doctor’s jostling. “Patience, Doctor Choi. It’ll all be over soon.”

“Father Park!” “Father we’ve found him!” The voices drew closer, the group from before trudging through the rain back toward them. Youngjae heard Mr. Heo sigh in relief, and Father Park once again loosened his grip on his arm. The doctor strained his ears for anything that would indicate Yugyeom was alright and unharmed—the cry was most definitely him. There were a lot of grunts and hisses, and soon all of  them were visible, making their way toward them. Youngjae didn’t care about the rest of them, only concentrating on the man held in the center between two others.

“Let’s go,” he heard one of them say.

“Let go of me,” Yugyeom spat, followed by a hiss of pain. The doctor so badly wanted to run to him, take him away from whatever was going on. The closer they got, Youngjae could make out the bright red staining the young man’s lips and the discoloration on his cheek. They had hurt him. They hurt Yugyeom, and for what?! The doctor was distraught, actively struggling against the priest’s hold. He hadn’t even noticed Mr. Heo grabbing him and pulling him back either.

“A job well done, Mr. Jeong, Mr. Kim,” Father Park thanked the two men holding either of Yugyeom’s arms. The young man’s hands were bound between his back, leaving him to push and pull against his captors. “You’ve all done the town a great service,” the man smiled when they, with Yugyeom, reached them.

Youngjae looked between the priest and the men he all knew and had helped once before, in utter disbelief that the good people of his town would do such a thing. Snapping from his stupor, his eyes searched for Yugyeom’s for any sign he was alright. Wounds were easy enough to take care of, be he needed to know he was alright.

Yugyeom, on the other hand, was stunned. He had momentarily stopped struggling when he was pushed to kneel on the ground before Youngjae, the priest, and the old man. Youngjae tried to reach out for him, called his name, but ultimately restrained by Mr. Heo. The men that had caught him stood on either side of him, watchful eyes trained on him lest he escape.

“What do you want?” he growled, staring defiantly up at the priest. Youngjae watched Father Park smile and step forward, a sudden chill running down his body. He watched Yugyeom, noticing how white his knuckles had gone behind his back, and the slight shivers racking his body. They were caught in a fierce staring contest, but despite the strong front Yugyeom put on, Youngjae recognized the fear in his eyes.

“Your evil will be put to a stop, witch!” Mr. Heo sneered from behind the doctor. Yugyeom tensed up at his words, but didn’t break his gaze at Father Park.

“Witch?” Youngjae repeated, his brows furrowing. “They..they don’t exist!”

“If only that were the case, Doctor Choi,” Father Park finally spoke. He grabbed Yugyeom’s face between his fingers, forcing his neck up to meet his gaze. He flinched, wincing in pain from the priest’s tight grip digging into his cheeks. The smile was unkind and cold, only growing wider as he jerked the young man’s face around. “But you’re in the presence of one of them right now.”

“What?” Youngjae’s eyes widened, anything he wanted to say dying in his throat. “What are you saying? That can’t be—they don’t, it can’t be true!”

“Yugyeom, was it?” the priest continued, leaving Youngjae to stare in shock.

“I don’t have to answer to a monster like you,” Yugyeom snarled back, uncaring that he was at the mercy of the priest and those around him. Mr. Kim stepped forward, ready to further restrain the man. Father Park held up a hand to stop him, not tearing his eyes from those of the young man.

“It seems you weren’t taught well enough to avoid "monsters,” Father Park said, chuckling at the man. “Look where you are, boy. There is no getting out of this.”

Yugyeom remained silent. The smile on Father Park’s face disappeared, and let go of the man, pulling back his hand as if it were burned.

“Answer the man, heathen!”

“No, it’s alright. He need not answer to me,” he said calmly. Then, locked eyes with Youngjae who had been watching the whole exchange with disbelief. “But perhaps to our dear doctor?”

“Yugyeom?” Youngjae called out tentatively.

Yugyeom’s head snapped up in Youngjae’s direction, the anger ebbing away to leave the fear and panic open on the young man’s face as he stared back at  Youngjae. The others were quiet, watching over with disinterest, conversing in low tones with each other instead.

“Yugyeom…is that…are you…?” Youngjae could not get the words out, unable to speak what he could not comprehend. Perhaps it was all one big joke, something the priest had made up to get them to stop seeing each other. He would leave the town that he resided in for years if it meant he could keep Yugyeom by his side, away from the liars and accusers of such blasphemy. But the longer the silence dragged on, the more quickly he was losing hope that it was false.

“I..” Yugyeom began to say. He bit down on his lip, a fresh trickle of blood running down his chin. But the pain reflected in his eyes, it wasn’t from his wound. Youngjae waited for an answer, a mantra of “please, please, please” running through his head. When Yugyeom looked away, bowing his head, Youngjae felt like he was going to collapse. The man’s eyes were hidden behind his hair, the shadows on his face hiding his expression—was it it shame, or was it just reluctance to admit the truth? The doctor didn’t have a chance to demand an answer, not when Father Park stepped between them and quietly asked the townsmen to “take the witch away.”

There were no sounds of resistance, no biting words, just the sound of the rain around them as they lifted Yugyeom to his feet and led him toward the town. Youngjae stared at the empty spot where Yugyeom was, the numbness in his bones spreading to the rest of his body, rooting him to the ground. He did not pay attention to the concerned look from Mr. Heo, or notice Father Park shake his head and send the elderly man away. He barely registered the priest letting go of his arm and placing a hand on his shoulder; he couldn’t feel it through the cold.

“It’ll be over soon,” he heard the man say. “You’ll return to your senses. It’ll be alright, Youngjae.” There was a sigh when Youngjae didn’t answer, and the hand was taken off his shoulder. Replacing it was something heavier and thicker, coming to drape around his shoulders and head. The rain stopped running down his face, but was no less cold. The doctor looked over in surprise, clutching the cloak together in the middle, his mouth agape. Father Park only smiled and nodded, the rain beginning to soak his own clothing. “You need it more than I do,” he said softly, and began to head back. The doctor supposed he was thankful he didn’t ask him to follow along, leaving him with his own thoughts.

“What…” he found himself saying before he thought it through. Father Park paused, his head turned slightly to listen. “What will happen to him?”

“He will be held somewhere in town until tomorrow,” the priest explained. He had resumed walking, as if the conversation wasn’t important enough for him to stay. “Then he will be tried for his sins.”

“A trial?” Youngjae said to himself, holding onto the cloak more tightly.

“And might I advise you one last time, Doctor, do not try and find him.” The priest paused. “Get some rest, I will deal with the witch.” He kept walking until he disappeared beyond the trees and into the rain, leaving Youngjae standing brokenly on the side of the path. “The witch,” was what Yugyeom was reduced to. A creature of the night children were told to be afraid of, to hide, and keep away from their wicked spells and curses.

And that was what Yugyeom was.

 

The rain hadn’t stopped even when the doctor reached his home.

He walked back like he had lost his soul, blank and listless, dragging his feet along the ground. Following the same path out of memory rather than paying attention to his surroundings, Youngjae just wanted to hide away in bed and wish it were all just a bad dream. He passed other townspeople on his way, some were whispering behind his back, while others sent him looks of pity, sympathy, or disappointment. But Youngjae didn’t care, he never had, the only thing on his mind was how to cure the excruciating pain in his chest. He loved Yugyeom; the sweet man with a silver tongue, the overgrown child that always tried to convince him to stay in bed, the mischievous boy that loved chocolates, Youngjae was so in love with Yugyeom that when the man refused to answer him, it was like his own heart was ripped from his chest and trampled on.

The doubt that lay under careful wraps came back, rearing its ugly head up and weaving itself into all of his thoughts—did Yugyeom ever trust him? Youngjae remembered giving the man time, the benefit of the doubt, that one day he would share everything with him.

But it appeared that their time had run out.

He felt foolish, and wanted nothing more than to forget everything; to forget Yugyeom, everything they’ve done together; forget the town, and leave it all behind. He slid down against his door, digging his palms into his eyes. Youngjae was aware of the mess he was creating on the floor, and the wet clothes sticking uncomfortably to his skin, but none of it mattered. He could hear Yugyeom in the back of his mind chiding him for creating puddles all over his floor that one day he came in from the rain, he could hear himself ordering Yugyeom to strip off his wet clothing when they ran through the snow; everything he did and everything around him all held memories of him and Yugyeom, and they wouldn’t leave his head no matter how hard Youngjae tried to will them away. He knew he didn’t want to forget them, but being lied to in such a way that he had to question everything the young man ever said to him, it was a betrayal Youngjae didn’t know from how to recover.

A quiet sob was ripped from his throat, the hot tears running down his face no matter how hard he pressed against his eyes. The doctor down on his lip to keep his cries quiet, but the more he tried to contain them, the harder it became to just stop and breathe. He lay slumped over himself, curling around his knees and sobbed. He cried for how blindly ignorant he was, he cried for Yugyeom, he cried for the trust he had in Yugyeom crumbling, but most importantly, he cried for his foolish heart that still beat for Yugyeom. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! He knocked his head against the door, tears still falling from his eyes, and grit his teeth in restraint from screaming.

They all had known before he had; Yugyeom kept it from him and the townspeople…the priest…they ruined all of it in one fell swoop. As if Father Park held the hammer and shattered the happy little illusion that was his life. Yet a part of the doctor still held onto the small hope that Yugyeom planned to tell him one day. He didn’t know what to do, who to trust, what to believe anymore. Youngjae didn’t know anything.

 

The doctor had eventually moved to clean himself up, taking a warm bath and leaving his clothes to dry. He wasn’t cold, not after soaking in hot water and sitting by the fire, but even with all that, the numbness hadn’t gone away. He couldn’t scrub away the redness under his eyes, or the tired look from his; no matter how he tried, he couldn’t even lift the corners of his lips into anything other than a straight line. He had a cup of tea, mixing in honey and some sugar for his throat and in case he caught something, and left it on the table when he went to fetch his cloak. Youngjae had to find Yugyeom, just to see him even if he weren’t able bring himself to believe anything the man had to say. He ran his finger along the green leather bracelet, tracing the outline of the sun, unable to bring himself to take it off. Perhaps that was reason enough as well.

So he snuck out into the night, hiding in the shadows and hurriedly moving along. The rain had stopped by then, but the smell still hung in the air as a reminder. Father Park hadn’t mentioned where they were keeping Yugyeom, only that it was in town, but Youngjae would not allow that to deter him. He had also lived in the town for a long time, there was no where he wouldn’t know.

It was not difficult to find out, people in town were not the most secretive and often spoke loudly, especially when they thought they were alone.

Slipping past the men that ambled out of the tavern, and into an old building close to the outskirts of their town, he pulled down his hood. The building was one he passed many times, but never had much reason to enter. It had been there since before Youngjae settled in, and was told it was something akin to a storage space for any brick, wood, building materials and the like. It held true, from the piles and piles of logs and brick he could make out from the dim light that filtered in through the high windows. Or at least until he reached the back, where he was met with a door. The doctor took a deep breath, steeling himself before he turned the knob—there was only one place Yugyeom could be.

The first thing he heard when the pushed open the door was a low growl coming from the end of the narrow corridor he had stepped into. The only source of light from the window at the end, illuminating nothing but the metal bars there and the gray stones that lined the hall.

“Yugyeom,” he breathed. He didn’t dare step forward, conflicted if he made the right decision in going to see him.

There was no response, only the jingle of a chain, before, “…Youngjae?” The doctor sucked in a breath, Yugyeom’s voice was hoarse, as if he’d been screaming for hours; something he didn’t doubt, considering the circumstances of his containment.

“Youngjae?” he called out again, followed by more light clinks.

“I’m here,” Youngjae finally said, letting go of a breathe he didn’t know he was holding. He slowly walked forward, until he was nearly up against the bars. From that distance he could make out Yugyeom’s outline sat up against the wall, directly under the window, his arms laying limply at his sides. Long metal shackles around his wrists were attached to the wall on either side of him, keeping him there.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he said, not waiting for the man to say anything more. He needed to know, to hear Yugyeom answer his questions.

Yugyeom didn’t answer immediately, looking down at his lap. But Youngjae knew he understood. “Some day.”

“That’s not good enough for an answer, Yugyeom!” The doctor grabbed at the bars, anger and frustration flaring up inside him again. “Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

“What good would that have done?” Yugyeom growled back, matching the intensity of Youngjae’s tone. He made a move to get closer, shifting into the moonlight. The sight of him made Youngjae flinch, almost taking a step back. The blood on his lip had dried, leaving angry dark red lines running down his chin. The bruise had fully bloomed on his cheek, a dark purple with yellowing edges nearly reaching his eyes—oh his eyes, they were no worse than Youngjae’s own. Red rimmed and tired, and a multitude of different emotions passing through them. But despite that, Youngjae still wasn’t be able to say he was anything less than beautiful. The wounds contrasted with the smooth paleness of his skin, making the colors so vibrant no matter how gruesome it look, and the man’s eyes still shone with an intensity as bright as the stars themselves, even in anger and fear.  "It wouldn’t have changed anything, Youngjae.“

"You don’t know that,” Youngjae retorted, “Something could’ve been done, I could have..we could have been more careful!”

“Do you think that would have made a difference when they found out?” Yugyeom asked, shaking his head at the doctor’s answer. “The only thing that would change is you would be in here with me! I wasn’t going to let that happen!”

“That isn’t for you to decide, Yugyeom. I can make my own choices!” he said back, the volume in his voice rising before it fell to a quiet whisper. “I…I would have rather been beside you than this!”

“You can’t say that,” the young man said immediately, as if shocked. His eyes snapped up to meet Youngjae’s, fierce and daring the older man to argue with him.

“You can’t make my decisions for me,” he said firmly, meeting the intense stare with one of his own. No words were exchanged after, they only stared at each other, either man unwilling to yield. Youngjae knew what he wanted, and would have gladly stood behind Yugyeom if he were privy to the information. Instead, they stood at opposite ends all because Yugyeom was so secretive.

“Do you know what they do to people like me?” Yugyeom spoke, voice quiet as he tore his eyes away from Youngjae’s to look down at the dirty ground. The anger seeped out of his body as he moved to curl into himself, like he was scared. The doctor could only imagine what it was like to be in his place.

“Does it matter? He said…Father Park said you will be tried. But there’s nothing to try you for, they have to let you go!” Youngjae told him what he knew, but unhappy with the change in subject, “That isn’t the point Yugyeom, why couldn’t you just trust me!”

Yugyeom looked like he wanted to say something else, but quickly decided against it when Youngjae accused him of not trusting him. “Of course I do!” he all but shouted, expression contorting into one of disbelief and sadness when he stared up at Youngjae.  

“Then you could have told me, did you think I was going to be afraid of you? Run away from you? Is that what you think of me?”

“What? No! Why are you being like this?” Yugyeom sat up straighter, shocked by the doctor’s outbursts.

“Because I know nothing about you!” he shouted, shaking the bars. “You’ve never told me where you live, I don’t even know your family name! Have you been lying to me all this time? Do you..do you even love me?” Youngjae asked the last part weakly, fearing for the worst. It wasn’t the best time to ask, but it was the only time he had, and considering all that had happened, he had a right to know how genuine those feelings were.

“How dare you,” Yugyeom responded immediately. His eyes were wide, and Youngjae found himself closing his eyes, unable to face the man. His voice became low, his words coming out slowly as if he were restraining his anger. “How dare you believe I would ever lie to you, about my own feelings!”

“You haven’t been giving me reasons to trust you!” Youngjae said, but immediately regretted his words as soon as they came out. He took a step back, a hand thrown over his mouth as his wide eyed expression met Yugyeom’s. The young man stared back at him, his face open with a vulnerability Youngjae had never seen on him before, his eyes filling with hurt and tears the longer the silence dragged on. Youngjae hadn’t meant that, he didn’t mean to say it; his hands had started shaking without him noticing.

“Go home, Youngjae,” Yugyeom said quietly, ducking his head down and avoiding the doctor’s searching gaze. “Dangerous things lurk here at night.”

Youngjae couldn’t find it in himself to smile at the obvious reference to their first conversation, when he was just another persistent man looking for a companion and Yugyeom the adamant stranger. He stepped back toward the cell, pleading to the man. “Yugyeom, please I didn't—”

“I don’t have a family name,” he continued, silencing Youngjae’s excuses. He looked away again, fingering the cracks on the ground. “I don’t know who my family is. My earliest memory was of waking up in the forest and wandering until someone found me. Is that what you wanted to know?

"So I grew up there, in the forest with the man that found me. Somewhere far from these towns and far from anyone that wanted to hurt us. Do you understand why I couldn’t tell you? Perhaps it was selfish of me to expect you to not ask questions, but…I was scared. I still am. People are not kind to those that are different, and less to things they don’t understand.

"I still love you, Youngjae. Despite all of it, my feelings haven’t changed from the day you decided to drag me home with you,” the memory tugged a small smile from the man’s lips. Youngjae let out a watery laugh, unable to find words to speak. He let his head fall against the bars as Yugyeom continued to talk softly, clutching his heart and wishing he could take it all back. Yugyeom deserved better from him, he deserved so much more than a life of hiding and distrust from those around him. “I hope you can believe that.”

“Yugyeom, I—”

“If you could do one thing and listen to me for once,” Yugyeom paused, letting out a shaky laugh. “Go home, Youngjae,” he said, his voice breaking toward the end, and tried to hide it with a sniffle. Youngjae wanted to cry, listening to Yugyeom talk as if it was going to be the last time they spoke. He caught his voice breaking, and he swallowed his own tears to look up at up from beyond the metal bars. The proud and impish man he once knew sat hunched over in a tight ball, hiding his face from view. But there was no disguising the slight shaking of his shoulders and the quiet sniffles.

“Yugyeom..” he tried to say, finding difficulty in keeping his own tears from falling.

“Please, Youngjae,” Yugyeom breathed out, “Go home.”

The doctor had no choice, not when Yugyeom wouldn’t even look up at him. So he turned on his heel and walked out, breaking into a run when he was outside. His heart hurt so much.

 

The next morning found Youngjae pushing through the crowd of people gathered at the town’s centre, to catch a glimpse of Yugyeom. What he was met with wasn’t a trial like he was told, but something he wished only remained in stories.

“You’re still spreading your filthy lies,” Yugyeom spat angrily at the priest standing before him. The two stood in the middle, in front of a large wooden cross atop a hill of wooden logs. Around them stood townspeople holding torches and throwing up their fists, yelling and jeering at Yugyeom. The man paid them no mind, and only stared spitefully at Father Park, who only looked back at him with disgust. Yugyeom was still bound, held in place by the same two men as the day before. Youngjae wanted to run out and pull Yugyeom away from them, away from the fate everyone around him knew was coming.

He couldn’t, however, as a large smack rang through the area. He looked on in shock, Father Park’s hand was raised high in the air while Yugyeom was on the ground, breathing heavily and spitting blood out beside him. People around Youngjae cheered, calling for justice. Their shouts growing louder as Yugyeom was dragged to the cross, his arms and legs bound tightly to it. His face twisted into a wince the tighter they tied it, no sympathy for the man.

“Stop!” Youngjae found himself shouting, but no one could hear him. He tried to run toward Yugyeom, pushing people out of way to reach him.

“Today we will bring about a new day, a brighter day!” Father Park announced, holding up a torch of his own, burning bright under the clear blue sky. “Doing our Lord’s work and saving this poor soul,” he continued, smiling to the crowd that only rejoiced with him. “This man fell down the wrong path, following after the Devil and practicing his art, but fear not! God has delivered him to us so we may cleanse his spirit!”

“Burn him!”

“He must atone for his sins!”

Youngjae was appalled, horrified by how ready the people of his town were to sentence a person, another human being to death. Still, he tried to make his way to the front, past everyone else. He had seen Kisoo’s mother, Mr. Seo, both of Miho’s parents, nearly every adult in town was present, shouting angrily for “repentance.” Youngjae was so confused by what had happened, and wondered where it all went wrong.

Yugyeom, tied to the cross, was silent as the priest continued to speak. His eyes were hardened as he looked defiantly into the crowd, looking down at all the peoples’ hateful faces. He wouldn’t show weakness to anyone.

“We will light a new day,” Father Park exclaimed, lighting the logs underneath Yugyeom’s feet. “The sacred flames of righteousness will be your judge!”

“If love is but a curse, then I only have myself to blame,” Yugyeom whispered to no one, but Youngjae heard it. All the shouts and yells faded away, leaving only Yugyeom’s soft voice. “Please,” Youngjae cried out, pleading to God that Yugyeom hear him and look his way. “Please Yugyeom!” He needed Yugyeom to know that Youngjae still loved him with everything he had, that he had been wrong, that he was so, so, so sorry for abandoning him when he needed Youngjae most. They couldn’t end on such a sour note, Youngjae swore he wouldn’t as he tried to push back against the angry crowd.

“Burn the witch!”

“Repent! Repent! Repent!”

“Penitence for your crimes!”

He watched as Yugyeom closed his eyes, a grimace marring his face, as the the flames grew higher and higher. They licked at his shoes and trouser legs, the heat unimaginable. Yugyeom struggled, his lower lip caught between his teeth as he muffled his screams; the dried blood on his face renewed with a fresh stream the harder he bit down. He strained against the ropes tying his arms to the cross, pulling and pulling and pulling, but they wouldn’t give. His eyes shone, not the way Youngjae recognized them and not bright as the stars would, but wet with unshed tears as he tried to escape.

“May the flames guide you to salvation,” Father Park called out. “Or be condemned to your eternal damnation!”

The cheers that followed were deafening; faces of mothers, fathers, the shopkeepers, the elderly folk, all of them actively yelling for the death of the young man. Youngjae couldn’t believe what he was seeing, what he was hearing. They were all afraid, but unafraid to condemn a man to death for the sake of their own reassurance.

“Repent for your sins!”

“Pay with your life!”

And finally, Yugyeom screamed.

He screamed in pain, sorrow, and anger, a terrible shrill sound that pierced Youngjae’s very soul. It was drowned out by the chants calling for repentance and punishment, those that held torches lifted them to the skies creating a wave of fire all around them.

“No, stop! Please!” Youngjae tried, squeezing between people he once called friends and acquaintances, and trying to lower their arms. “Yugyeom!” he shouted. “Yugyeom!” But the young man wouldn’t hear him, not over his own screams and those of the ones that wished him to Hell, nothing but the crackle and hiss of the flames that were crawling up his legs, threatening to devour him whole.

“Yugyeom!”

“Accept your fate, witch!”

As the chants continued, the wind around them grew stronger, twisting the flames and pulling the embers as it pleased. It only caused the people to grow louder, more aggressive, shouting loud enough for the God that lay in the clouds to hear them. The crowd paid no attention to the circle of crows that flew in over them, dotting the clear skies like drops of ink. Youngjae grew more frantic at the signs that they weren’t going to stop until Yugyeom lay dead on the cross; they were far from the people he once knew. He continued to scream for Yugyeom, refusing to believe the man was to leave their world. He blinked back the tears, a luxury Yugyeom wasn’t permitted as angry tears streaked his face, reflecting the blazes surrounding him.

“Burn, you heathen!”

“God won’t save you!”

The winds suddenly died down, only for a large gust to sweep through the crowd, knocking people backward and cutting off their chants. They didn’t stop, picking up dirt, small rocks, branches, leaves, everything and anything until it was difficult to see, snuffing out flames and throwing them elsewhere. Youngjae was pushed backward into someone else, another man that had the foresight to hold their cloak up and shield themselves. When he squinted to see who it was, he almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. Father Park Jinyoung, the man usually so composed and calm, who turned into someone Youngjae didn’t recognize, looking distressed and confused at the turn of events. The rosary in his hand waved in the wind, standing out against the black of his robes.

Amidst the screams of all those around him, Youngjae could not see Yugyeom nor hear him any longer. He tried, blinking his eyes against the flecks of dirt and dust, to catch even a glimpse. What and where the winds came from Youngjae didn’t care, but for stopping the townspeople from their witch hunt, the doctor was thankful. He only hoped it were a benevolent wind, saving Yugyeom with it.

Behind him he heard the priest gasp, and was close enough to feel the older man tense. Braving the harsh winds, he turned his head to see what had the man so affected. Youngjae wasn’t prepared to see Father Park wide eyed, as if he’d seen the ghost of someone he used to know, his arm slack beside him and no longer shielding himself. The older man stood still, frozen as the wind continued its assault. Youngjae looked over to the direction in which he stared, seeing nothing but debris and flickers of fire. The wooden stake was obscured in view no matter where the doctor looked, quickly becoming more anxious again. He’d thought he saw eyes, sharp like a predator’s, staring back at him, but that was impossible. They weren’t the hooded mischievous ones of Yugyeom’s, nor one that he recognized. It wasn’t possible for them to be eyes, he thought, shaking his head and resuming his search. He tried to push forward, toward where he thought the cross to be, but just as quickly as the winds came, they were gone.

He didn’t care for the people littered on the ground, some having fallen completely while others held their ground in groups; the torches that had been dropped, their flames gone and smoking; the mess of dirt and rocks and branches that were carried over. All he cared to see was the wooden stake, flames still burning at the base, where shredded pieces of rope lay. Yugyeom was gone. The crows above them flew, their feathers gently floating down like rain, calling out as if in triumph.

Youngjae stared out, past the broken wood, over the scattered flames, through the black feathers, beyond the clamoring townspeople, straight into nothingness as if he could find the man he longed for hiding away and waiting for him. Beside him the priest stood, the doctor did not acknowledge his presence any longer even as he shook in a combination of fear and anger, the rosary in his palm dripping with red, down to the ground.

Yugyeom was gone, gone in a flurry of wind and fire that turned to ash, without a trace. His eyesight swam, the buildings and people, the fire and the sky, all blurring together into a vision of angry reds and oranges; flames that licked the sky and consumed everything around him. Was that what Yugyeom saw when he looked around the town? The terrifyingly bitter visages of the people screaming and spitting at him, and what had he done about it? He stared helplessly until the end, watching the one person he came to love disappear.

Falling to his knees, Youngjae screamed, cursing the heavens.

 

And so the story ends.

**Author's Note:**

> what a weird au huh
> 
> i just want to talk about yugjae!!!!


End file.
